lol hahah

The beauty of love.

Sweet has its name. So does bitter.

I think we all have to admit, we have our favourites though we know very well that favouritism isss very bad. And I think, we all have the tendency to go to a place where all we can hear are the things that we like and that we would want to hear. Simply because, it soothess the mind and ears ?

What is a fair trade ?

Sitting in the dark, I can't forget
Even now, I realize the time I'll never get
Another story of the bitter pills of fate
I can't go back again, I can't go back again

Keep holding on
When my brain's ticking like a bomb
Guess the black thoughts
Have come again to get me

Sweet bitter words
Unlike nothing I have heard
Sing along, mockingbird
You don't affect me

That's right
Deliver it to my heart
Please strike
Be deliberate

Wait, I'm coming undone
Unlaced, I'm coming undone
Too late, I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate

Wait, I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate

Choke, choke again
I find my demons were my friends
Getting me in the end
They're out to get me

Since I was young
I tasted sorrow on my tongue
And this sweet sugar gun
Does not protect me

That's right
Trigger between my eyes
Please strike
Make it quick now

Wait, I'm coming undone
Unlaced, I'm coming undone
Too late, I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate

Wait, I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate

I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like I'm not getting better
Not getting better

Wait, I'm coming undone
Unlaced, I'm coming undone
Too late, I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate

Wait, I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate

i will toss that phone till it breaks. that i can promise u. yes, aku menyesal tak kol ang. adoi.

whats tomorrow ? fun.

the fuck la. kalo aku haram la dah lama dah kena marah dah. jawab macam tu lagi kena marah. the fuck.

Patience. Sigh.

Bek tdoq. Tak payah dok kalot.

Maybe now you are pressing the right button, again. =)

so after all those, and trust me this aint the end of it, sebab i dont feel it is. so yeah, gawd yesss I am very fickle minded and that I change my mind and rethink things almost constantly all the time.

the thing is, i know what, no idk what i want still, haha. sometimes I want that, sometimes I wish I can throw it away. ok laa orang cakap, there is a light. aku nampak dah light tu, just macam mana nk p ja. yeah, nk p kena mau ada cara, that I lack of. I dont know whats my plan or how do I go bout this, coz if I dont have a genius plan. I am still going to be stuck in this crap.

But whats for sure is, I am not going to let all this go to waste. That is for sure.

Some, certain things, really do not change. Like the faces, the smell, the sense. Our faces might change, certain things might change or the arrangements might change, but certain things are meant to be the same. I might have not been there for over 10 years or so, but going there makes me feel like yeah, I am going back to a time where I used to be.yeap. I went to the wet market, yessss I didddd ! haha. and going back there, seeing all the aunties and uncles and the smell of it and the place. and seeing da and talking to ezzati. makes me feel happy. my point here is, it proves a point to me. its not that bad to go back to where you once were just to relive it again. And so I was searching, looking for familiar faces, and I did and I liked that. so I guess dont be afraid to take a walk in your mind and to go back to a time where you once were.

And I must admit, I avoid talking about the past. a lot i suppose. So when I offer you to talk bout it, trust me, it only will come once in ur life and especially when I am really ready to be so open.

And things that are meant or were meant to be. If they are, they will remain as it is. God willing. I wonder what happen to my effort, my wants and my dreams. I know its still in me, I think I am just too bz minding my not so important matters. And I cant seem to snap out of it, yet. I am still stuck here, not wanting to move forward or even take a step back. Yes, every body can come and give me free advice, say this and that. I am taking it. Its just whether I am or want to do it or not.

All in all I have to say, have a break, have a kit kat !

My life is actually fun.

You know what, especially when night falls. Then i cant wait to see what i have to be struggling with. And what war that i have to be fighting in me to say oh no, thats wrong, oh no thats right the shit. Then to convince myself that it is time for me to be able to sleep. Then the next morning, the few moments after u get up trying to persuade urself that ur day would be fine especially ur night. But then oh wait, it all happens again.

Tak pa. Nak wat cana.

But, initially I was desperate to, then I thought I can postpone it till next time, but you know what, for the sake of myself and my mental health, I will give you a call.

Every night I wish for a different star.

It is just like we cannot help ourselves.

The right question that should be questioned is what is wrong with me ? Somebody did ask me the right question just now.

Space what alienated aircraft ship shitt. Space now? How bout gazillionn light years ago.

KDU why u not tomorrow or somethinggg? Yes, i am tired of it macam ni. I know i would regret like yea, classes started, no lazing around pa benda, but u know, atleast i will be less of an asshole.

Enough said.

Seriously, Do not watch Black Swan !

I think that is the most twisted, depressing movie I have ever watched. I am feeling like from bad to worse and after watching it, the feeling of puking is even moreee. I mean I sincerely thought the ending would be beautiful, oh gawd no, its ugly !

this is quite too much for me to see and handle now.

WAS. It is all the past tense. was.

It is like diarrhea.

You eat everything and few moments later everything goes out thru ur asshole. And nothing is absorbed.

Yeah, for every screwed up thing you did.

I wish I dont care at all.

And that is a wish that I wish can be granted. Quick, I popped you in my mouth already. Please kick in asap.

You know recess ?

Yes, I would love to go for a recess now. a longggg one.

Aku memang suka menunggu. =D

Aku memang seorang yang penyabar. Period. yeah, time bila ang nak cuba sedaya upaya jadi baek, jadi understanding, dok kata tak pa, tak pa, kita cuba, toksah wat ass, toksah jadi mcam tu, toksah jadi macam ni, tak bekk, jadi bgoih, jd penyabaq, jd fair, jd orang tak gila nek angin, time tuuuu la orang2 cuba nak test ang lagi.whatthefucklaweyh. i know2, no big, u cant blame the situation. its nothing. but those little ticks that really blows me off. tapi paham tak keadaan bila ang cuba nak naek ladder yang tinggi ni, tapi aakan ada orang yang akan tarik ang ke bawah or someone dari atas tolak ang. then ang akan jatuh ke ground balek and terpaksa bangun and panjat sendiri balek. tak ka penat. kadang2 aku rasa macam, whats the point of trying ? so hard? every single day of my lifeeee ~

Heartburn and strains.

I fucking do not like that. Keep it together now.

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold?
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control?

I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my times elapsed
Now all I do is live with so much fate

I wished for this, I bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact
You cannot kill what you did not create

I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise

Dead memories in my heart.

Sitting in the dark, I can't forget
Even now, I realize the time I'll never get
Another story of the bitter pills of fate
I can't go back again, I can't go back again

Tragic visions
Slowly stole my life
Tore away everything
Cheating me out of my time

I'm the one who loves you
No matter wrong or right
And every day I hold you
I hold you with my inner child

I need serenity
In a place where I can hide
I need serenity
Nothing changes, days go by

Where do we go when we just don't know
And how do we relight the flame when it's cold?
Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing
And when will we learn to control?

Don't ask me when.

You would just have to sit and wait and bare with it. Till I feel like it.

And thanks for the effort, I see that but all I feel like doing right now is pop something in my mouth, get loud music and close my eyes and sleep for as long as I can.

But I don't get it.

See but I don't get it
Don't you think maybe we could put it on credit?
Don't you think it can take control when I don't let it?
I get stupified, it's all the same you say, live with it

Does it even make a difference if I were to drown ? No.

So I think I have proven a point that I can swim almost 10 rounds non stop, well ok, almost firstly. then stop once in the middle of it to catch my breath. So thats it, in life, keep swimming non-stop till you run out of breath. either you faint and drown or you get back and sleep with the thoughts swimming in your head. why take in to account of other thoughts in your head,those other crappy stupid irrelevant things in your life ? just shut it and just swim. it is yoour life. why try so hard ?

and so I said, eat it. its up to you whether you want to digest it or vomit it out.i am not going to be there to pat you on your back to ease your vomit. in the end of the day, we all, eventually, will get back to our normal life, our normal self, our daily routine. no matter what, eventuaally la kan. so I couldnt care less. how much can it affect you anyways. 10 years time ? its not something that has been for months all this while. it wouldnt. it hasnt been even all this while. so what, rite ?

so i am scared but il try not to. this is me. i will work it out. if ur not there to tell me dont be scared because you could have, its ok. im just telling. it wont kill us. it might take a huge part of us, but it wont kill us. trust me it wont.


Sincerely,

My Bad.

Yeap. true enough. should have known.

it makes me sad that I cant pick my microphones and earphones. i know i cant, im living with it. sigh.

yes, it is my fault. my fault for being a failure and having disabilities. my fault for having feelings, thoughts, insecurities and all other stupid things that u can list about me. Yes, I admit it.

my fault for having sensitive tear glands.

But all I hear, is silence, pure nothings.

The tv in front of me is on, the fan is spinnin loud enuf for me to hear, i also hear the tv downstairs.

Nebula.

Astronomy anyone ?

I'm perty honest.

When I tell you it hurts, yes it does.

I don't see myself when I look in the mirror
I see who I should be
I don't see myself when I look in your eyes
Thank God for that

I don't see myself when I look cross the river
I see where I should be
I don't see myself when I look from the sky
Thank God for that
I hear them screaming
On the radio
Its getting louder
In the crossfire
Trying to find some hope
From the ashes of their broken homes

I don't see myself when they fail to deliver
I see what I should be
I don't see myself when I look at the flag
Thank God for that

I hear them screaming
On the radio
It's getting louder
In the crossfire
Trying to find some hope

Our day will come
We'll find the sun
We'll find the fire
We'll sanctify
The love we gave
Our one desire

I hear them screaming
On the radio
Its getting louder
In the crossfire
Trying to find some hope
I hear them screaming
On the radio
Its getting louder
In the crossfire
Trying to find some hope
From the ashes of their broken homes

I don't see myself when I look in the mirror

sangat tepat !

we are listening and we are not blind.

sangat bangang. i mean aku ckup tak suka orang bangang. bukan tak suka tapi saket ati and akai dengaq, u know what i mean, otak pandai2, pa suma, aku taw ang ada masalah, ok la, call la cakap la mai habaq cita pa masalah, bukan kawan yang bagoih2 tak dak. ni nak wat merapu bagai, pe cer bhaiiii ? aku taw aku ni pon bole tahan bangang ja haha tapi aku tak la bangang sampai wat keja bodo ruin my life.

its just aku rasa, ok la, not cuti, we all separated dah kan, but since we all habes sekolah. memang kita ada haluan n hidup masing2 dah, just the thing is, bangang owkay. i wish school ada so then we can pebetuikan our brain sikit. at least once in a while we sit together in a circle and distres ourself, yes our little circle with a bottle, the person with the bottle only can talk, and the bottle is kinda like ur punch bag. by the end of the session, botoi tu mmg hancuqq dah la. haha. or2 cikgu tak dak tu, kita p visit2. sit together and share stuff or sesi luah perasaan. i seriously need that. sighh. pasepaaaaa ! i wish in kdu i do meet people mcm tu. double sigh.

ok this. dont feed me plant food. macam ni la. if u want me to be a vegan, pure vegetarian, aku tak kisah langsung taw tak. just, u suroh i jadi vegy, u pon kena la. yang u p makan ayam, eat all the meat and suroh i jadi on a strict diet with vegy, pa kes ? dont u ever feel that ur doing such a huge deal of unfairness ? and ok la, tak pa, dimaafkan disuro jadi vegan, the thing is, ang tak sedaq pon yang ur feeding me plants only. and jangan la mai kata kat aku oh aku tak taw aku dok bagi ang sayuq ja, aku tak sedaq pun ang perlu benda laen seperti ikan especially ayam. sigh. if u come to me and say that to me, il say to u, kamu sangat ta understanding.bende ni doesnt have to be told, mau kena faham sendiri, u know my life well, my time spent well, my daily thing, then? tak penah nampak ka ? aku simple ja la. kna fair. ang jangan jadi omnivore and aku kena jadi herbivore. why dont dua2 omnivore kan. kan senang. tapi pulak, to let go and tgk orang laen makan ayam, that hurts and its hard. to forgive and forget whatver that has been eaten, aint my vegy. and i have to work on that. and this goes to the past and the near future. ye, i am scared. i know my past, am trying to learn from it because I dont want to be condemened to be repeating it.

Shit. stop talking la.

that is what I will say to you if you start shitting on me, so shit.

And I very dislike nightmares. It makes me sick to my stomach.

And I wish you admitted that you were an ass when well you were, admit it at least. That cuts almost half of the unfairness.

yeap.keep saying it, dont be scared. be strong, yeappp

kene terime kenyataan.

Aku reti malas. And i dont think i have the ermm, not courage, its the will, the will to be exactly like last time. maybe sebab last time i dont give a efff, but now I do. no i have my reasons to it, dulu especially, and bila tak perlu walau apa pun, kena jadi perlu jugak, yeap. that is uncool, aite ? And I cant seem to live by " giving your favourite ice cream to someone when you really want to have ur favourite ice cream" Yet ? idkkk. its just sth i really dont like to do.

How do you know?

How would you know?

And it feels, it feels like trading brains with an imbecile. For real.

Yes I feel emphatic about not being static
And not buying philosophies that are sold to me, no, at a steal

Pardon me while I burst. And exploding seems like a definite possibility

Sincerely, I am really trying hard not to be a lioness or a volcano that is about to erupt any minute. I am trying hard to control myself. So, do me a favour and do not try to test me or to see how far I am willing to go la. Just, seriously, you dont have to add to anything.

wayyyy tooo deeepp

I’m a man on a mission or so I’ve been told

Mula2, bukan itu caranya nak bercakap dengan orang yang tengah marah.

ok sooo, I have read. Some say that, it is not good for you to vent your anger, especially when like you do it physically, even lets say if you write about it, it actually makes you angrier, the emotion and anger builds up as you keep sayin it and play the scenes in your head like a movie installed in ur brain. and yes it happens to me all the time and obviously it aint healthy at all. so what it says was, forget it, put it behind and slowly let go of it.

Or yea, this is quite healthy, make a jurnal, when ur done with it, tear the pages and burn it. as so it symbolizes that part of ur life is gone. dead and gone. it can also work if ur trying to move on or forget something.

So, in some ways, I agree in this because I just experimented on it just now. I tried to forget about it, questioned myself many times to how relevant it is for me to actually be a crazy angry lunatic on something that is also partly my fault and it wont affect me in 10 years time, even lets say tomorrow. SO I did it, went on like normal, talk, chit chatted. but when I vented out and said it out loud, oh damn that was ugly. esp when u dont get the response that u want, double ugly. And the more I talk about that damn thing, the more crazy I will get.

but ok, we all know this. from the very start of our young life. orang cakap , jangan pendam satg jadi lagi terok. so if u keep bottling and keeping things inside, it will sooner or later eventually eat you up.

So, that is perty confusing for me now.

Bangs head on the wall

ok.hands down.thats one of the worst i would like to hear.

* no it will not be affecting me in 10 years time so fuck it and let it go

Show me now, show me the arms aloft.

It's like we just can't help ourselves
'Cause we don't know how to back down

=(

So i guess I wont be getting a bear hug for being a good girl tonight.

Aku. Sabaq. Jar.

Dahla aku ni xreti sabaq kan. Ang paham dak ?

Butt, so far so good today. Folloowing the seven or eight tips on how to manage anger. Hahha.

It starts with, i am not born as an angry person, but how i react towards my daily life makes me an angry person. So count to ten before u feel like exploding like an impatient arse or crazy angry lunatic. Yeappp.

And i feel like psychology is errrm, confusing, so many fields to go too, many peoples theory to read thru, so many alien terms that idont know, dah kot. N i didnt know this thing called body dysmorphic disorder exists.

All in all i have to say. Yea, mmg skang xdak exam. I wana try to learn things bkan krana nk lpaih ja spm tpi sebab nk ilmu, be someone useful and knowledgeable. Be someone who can talk with some sense rather than answering every qs with I. D. K. And seriously, i do now want to be chubby on the outside, tapi sangatlah empty in the inside.

Cheers mate !

Junk. Sugar sugar. Fibre.

Takdal apa pon. Aku just tak puaih ati ja. Adakah susah sangat utk penuhkan keiinginan ka keperluan aku untuk masa2 tertentu ?

Is it that hard to play along ?

Yes. Hard. Enough. Damnit.

No, I am not taking this off. And no I am not going to let it go just like that. Yes, I have been keeping it for long and keep sayin,oh, no bigg !

It is just a simple stupid line, a sentence which it is partly my fault but I can say, its not sebab I am not the one who fiddled around with my phones software, btul x ? Just, wth is wrong with u. Just because ur like that, u have the rights to be fucking rude and be fucking selfish ? Oh i tell u, yes u do, but bapa banyak ang nk wat prangai mcmtu ? ok, u can be selfish and be rude, and we all can say, yea we all faham keadaan kamu, tapi byk mana nya nk jdi selfish and rude smpai bole dikatakan xdak adab and xhormat orang tua dah? and bpa lama orang bole dok repeat, oh we understand u, we understand ur roller coaster ride ? i know i cant be repeating it anymore. i am tired of it. especially when u ruined sth that should be really awesome for me. and u start hurting someone who you shoudnt be in the first place. and actually thats the main thing that pisses me of. u used to be someone who I can loook up to, now u know, forget it. igt la elok2, sapa dari dulu smpai ke besaq xpenat n xcomplain dok bela kita. and to make it feel so fucked up, orang tu xpenah mintak pon belas kaasihan ka balasan. sanggup p simpan duet sniri nanti p upah org utk jga bila dia dah tua nanti. What would that make you feel ? Great ? sigh. all u think is you, u never think what he thinks even the slightest bit. mmg dia suka wat tak dak hati and heartless, but truth is, he does have a heart and bukan u sorang ja ada hati.

I have a lot of things ahead of me. I dont wnt to commit now and regret. whats done is done, it cnt be undone, whats left is to make the bet out of it and live with it.

Get out of my face, and let go of my hand.

Yes, I am leaving for home tomorrow. And I need to get up at 5am which is 2 am msia time. Anybody care to say have a safe trip or to know what time are my flights ? Or bak kata orang ni, Aiman study dekat ausy dah ? hehe. Not yet, leme finish my A levels then we can dream about continuing abroad. Or shut it, realizing that I will actually be back after almost 10 days going away and having limited access and chats, care to sit beside me and talk and care for me ? no. instead of that, better of doing other things. u know, I know, 1o days aint a big thing. make it a whole month.

Seriously, I dont feel like goin back. I would love to be here like a month or two more. I think I would adapt here better than adaptin in SP haha atleast people wouldnt stare at me everytime I open my mouth. And wearing hijab here doesnt make me feel awkward or sth that pulls me behind. In Malaysia, ermmm, its a different story haha.

I like it here.

East London's not a bomb site
It is a treasure chest
We use our penguin costumes
More than our evening dress
She said I should come over
Though the music's not my type
Don't you know I'd chop a limb off
Just to have a good time

Shut up and move with me, move with me, or, or get out of my face
I didn't queue for an hour to leave straight away
Shut up and stay with me, stay with me, or, or let go of my hand
The lasers fill our minds with empty plans
I never knew I was a techno fan

This is not a weird weekend
It's an angry wormhole
I'm talking like a city boy
And drinking with a northern soul
She said I should come over
Though it's carnage at times
It still seems I'd chop a limb off
Before I put up a fight

Shut up and move with me, move with me, or, or get out of my face
I didn't queue for an hour to leave straight away
Shut up and stay with me, stay with me, or, or let go of my hand
The lasers fill our minds with empty plans
I never knew I was a techno

We are the 1980s
We are the Detroit lights
And I never wanna, I never wanna see this stop
I'm in debt to you
But don't feed me plant food

Shut up and move with me, move with me, or, or get out of my face
I didn't spend 20 sheets and not cut a shape
Shut up and stay with me, stay with me, or, or let go of my hand
The lasers fill our minds with empty plans
I never knew I was a techno fan

I'm feeling out of bounds, out of bounds
I'm running out of time, out of time
I know there's no such thing as either of them
But its doesn't make me feel any better

Semua org ada kecantikannya tapi x smua org boleh melihatnya.

What would that make me feel then? What now?

No doubt, its too obvious, and that u know it better than anyone does, more than i do even. You kmow very well that i want and need you and only you compared to anyone else. But why donyou always make it as if i dont want all those at all? Do u really want that?

Everybody would want a cupcake. With frosting, cherry, texture, taste, and warm. That, for me, sometimes is comfort food. But what is thre to a cupcake if they dont even have icing or frosting on top. What more for a sweet and tempting looking cherry on top.

Forgive me for being shallow all these while. I didnt know that it takes effort and a lot of will to stay stupid.

You used to have hthe charm, the stars, the moon just bfore ur hands. But what happen to itnow? It failed to enlight me these days. It failed to catch my eye.

Every night I dream of a different star

Haih. This is difficult. Alrite2. I dont have a remote to pick the channels that I want. So just take it, cause I am desperate now. Live with it. I am actually scared of going back home. That night. Sighh

If you feel or see that I am drifting away from you, dont just sit there. Hand me over a rope and a float. Save me.

It's like we just can't help ourselves
'Cause we don't know how to back down
We were called out to the streets
We were called in to the towns

And how the heavens, they opened up
Like arms of dazzling gold
With our rain washed histories
Well they do not need to be told

Show me now, show me the arms aloft
Every eye trained on a different star
This magic
This drunken semaphore
And I

We are listening
And we're not blind
This is your life
This is your time

We are listening
And we're not blind
This is your life
This is your time

I was called out in the dark
By a choir of beautiful cheats
And as the kids took back the parks
You and I were left with the streets

Show me now, show me the arms aloft
Every eye trained on a different star
This magic
This drunken semaphore
And I

We are listening
And we're not blind
This is your life
This is your time

Show me now, show me the arms aloft.

life tells me that its never too late to change something.
but it sure takes time to heal a broken heart.

But, I dont think we need to change, for me I think the correct word is improve. Instead of changing ourselves, we should try improving ourselves. Change, is perhaps like u are really crappy or sth. * pffttt, I am craappy.

Firstly, i thank Allah for giving me this opportunity to come here and to feel all of these.

Its only like a couple of days but i already feel the strain. The strain of u knw, not gettin ur comfort food or ur bantai busuk kinda feeling. As for me, not getting into my comfort zone. Wel, ya, sth did. In the busy city of Sydney , i found comfort in the smell of my father. Yeapp. N mind u that was like less than 5 seconds but i treasure it evry bit yaww. Just ya, i need my alone time mcmtu but xdak. But id missit tho. All this. I do have half in mond of xmo balek and stay here forever and forget bout evrythg. Well, thats not forget, thats runnin away from reality and faking ur life.

To say i miss it, i would be lieing to u but to say i dont miss it, thats a lie too. Sighh.

Nowi have thefear of expressing myself freely. The fear of i wont be understood. Let alone understood, to be heard, to be treated with feelings and heart. I am scared. I would just rather be not heard than try so hard to actuallybeheard. Whats the point of expressing urself where u cant even get a sincere pair of ears and a heart to come to u ?

I cant call u, not that accessible. I cant text u too, thats so outof theqs while i am here.

It makes me sick tomy stomach when i think of it

N for the fact tht i cnteven keep a thing to myself for 10 mins, now this is like a whole week. Yeah, im like a ticking time bomb.

N read my lips. I would rather go to wildlife parks rather than shopping heheheh

Sydney aquarium was awesome. Featherdale wildlife was awesomee. Dapat tgk sharks2 n sea creatures pelik2. Then pggkoala n kangaroo hehe. N sydney opera house. I loikee.

N yeah. Mmg dlm my list. Aku ada dua org yg aku nk confront. Bukannk mrah ka apa but gtaw a pieceeeee off my mindd. Haha. Sma la jgakkot.

Sorang ni akuxtaw pasepa dok mcm, ok wait. Dua2 dok wt cm kejam n xdak akai. Dah.

N whats a family trip without a family dinner.

Dah, thanks.

You can’t fight the fall
so you can call it off.
But it might be for the best.
You can´t walk away anyway,
because you’ve nowhere else to go.

Is he worth all this?
Is it a simple yes?
'Cause if you have to think
it’s fucked,
feels like you’ve loved him more
than he loved you
and you wish you´d never met

Don’t keel over now,
Don’t keel over.
Don’t keel over now,
Don’t keel over.

You´ve been up all night
and the night before
and you’ve lost count of drinks and time.
And your friends keep calling worried sick
and there’s strangers everywhere.

Don’t keel over now,
Don’t keel over.
Don’t keel over now,
Don’t keel over.

And in one little moment
it all implodes.
This isn’t everything you are!
Breath deeply in the silence,
no sudden moves.
This isn’t everything you are!
Just take the hand that´s offered
and hold on tight.
This isn’t everything you are!
There’s joy not far from here, right?
I know there is.
http://www.elyricsworld.com/this_isn't_everything_you_are_lyrics_snow_patrol.html
This isn’t everything you are!

When you took the call,
how could you know,
that he’d slipped away last night?
Then you wish you’d went
home days ago,
to say goodbye
or just hello.

Don’t keel over now,
Don’t keel over.
Don’t keel over now,
Don’t keel over.

And in one little moment
it all implodes.
This isn’t everything you are!
Breath deeply in the silence,
no sudden moves.
This isn’t everything you are!
Just take the hand that´s offered
and hold on tight.
This isn’t everything you are!
There’s joy not far from here, right?
I know there is.
This isn’t everything you are!

I dont get you. I aint important i suppose? Taktau. Jawab sendiri dalam hati.

Ang sja nak bagi aku naek angin ka paaa. Ha, ok, u wna try me. I can try u too.

Ya. Bla mrh, no, mkn tu kna la haha. Tidoq, wlaupon satu hari dh jalan 4o km. dari rosehill pegi ke summer hill. P dkst central lagi. Bila marah, mata troih tebeliak. Sighh. The shit u ?

It's like we just can't help ourselves
'Cause we don't know how to back down
We were called out to the streets
We were called in to the towns

And how the heavens, they opened up
Like arms of dazzling gold
With our rain washed histories
Well they do not need to be told

Show me now, show me the arms aloft
Every eye trained on a different star
This magic
This drunken semaphore
And I

We are listening
And we're not blind
This is your life
This is your time

We are listening
And we're not blind
This is your life
This is your time

I was called out in the dark
By a choir of beautiful cheats
And as the kids took back the parks
You and I were left with the streets

Show me now, show me the arms aloft
Every eye trained on a different star
This magic
This drunken semaphore
And I

We are listening
And we're not blind
This is your life
This is your time

I really wonder how long distance relationships work out

Especially when they are in different time zones. Make it one in US, the other Malaysia la kan. Yeah, faith, sacrifices,patience,

Y so stress all of a sudden ?

THIS IS AUSIE, THIS AINT PUSSY !

Yes dude, I totally get you and agree with you. So, i am somewhere in between.

After somewhat like 7 or 8 hours on fligh, stuck in between my mom and brother. ok wait, make it 6 since the last one hour before landing I was in the situation of omg I think my plane might crash anytime soon. Yeap, no kidding. I was freaking out like crap and dang the motion sickness. Blame air turbulence I think. So, the minute I landed in ausie. blueghhhh. Yeah, mmg no doubt every body was staring at me vomitting in the puke bag. Saat paling memalukan. All my vegy spagety n icecream and other nice tid bits just when away like that. Andd I was like crap the whole day. Yes, I hate you jet lag. xtau la balek nnti mesti jet lag lagi.

So, the whole time I crapped, dgq lagu banyak2 yang best, men game haha. reflect in life. Yes, I left malaysia with a hearrt that well, needs to be picked up but ok forget it. With a mixed feeling of Idontwanttogo versus Yayhightimeformetoleavethisplace. and a feeling of yeah, orang yang tak reti senyum dalam trip ni pon senyum n happy, what the eff la aku dok emo, btul x ? So, I am tying to forget, practically everythg here and yeah, appreciate the time that I have with my family. Paling pentingnya appreciate la my family, I know I can be moneyless, tak dak perasaanless, whatever2 la n I know my family will still be standing there for me.

All in all, I do hope when I come back, I would be a different person. Pffft yeah seminggu dah bole berubah jadi orang len, hhaa. not realy, just to have hold on and keep it together. And yeah, absorb everything.

And damn, dudeee, damnnn. the eff is wrong with u. u masok kandang babi kan, ang oinkkk3 laa. adoii. I know its hard but idk larrr.

and dude. You know me better. I just dont snap out of some crapp.

The pain you have caused by simply saying I dont know.

Or for the fact that you wont even try a tad bit and perhaps refuse to learn at least something, really breaks my heart. I cant be spelling every single thing while I am sitting there crying my eyeballs out like an idiot just to get a little of your precious attention when I just need it the most. Did you even ask ? What more to say, hey, let me make it right again, we might have less time now but at least we make use every single minute of it. Sigh, all these, upsets me. Congratulations, you broke the record, this is the worst spelling competition I have put myself into and made me feel like I was loosing my mind.

It is like a spm question you know. Make it bm tatabahasa, yes, no doubt effing hard because you never know what might come out, but if you were to shoot some arrows, it will hit bulls eye at least one, or not, somewhat relatively close to it. The probability is there, it has to be one and never zero, and mind you one is a lot and can totally go a long way for me. So, instead of shooting some arrows and pray it will hit target, u couldnt even be bothered to fetch your arrow. So, you couldnt be bothered to answer that bm quesstion. Yes, for me it is as important as a spm question, well muchh more than that. Mind you, you are not a choice or an option for me, you are the only one, and never a second option or choice for me.

For me, cheese in a piza is just not cheese. For me, without cheese is never going to make a piza, xmintak sampai perfect pun, just not even a piza la we call it. For me the point of cheese is for taste, texture, color, makes the piza cook faster as it melts and most importantly to bind all the ingredients like mushroom or hotdawgs together, cheese holds it together. Without cheese on a piza, u will get a sloppy, uwi guwi piza. N by that, I am not ready to be served with a sloppy piza for dinner after a long day of work and being super hungry and have been yearning for jsut a simply warm and tempting piza. A piece can totaly bring me a long way. Why would I want a sloppy piza if I myself can make a better piza than that ? Mind you, maybe thats the only thing I cannot go with I suppose. It is as important as cheese in a pizza for me, I know not for you cause you dont feel it. I wish I dont need the cheese of yours at all.

And if I am going to cry and weep my ass off every other nite and cannot stop crying till I cant fall asleep, and a little cycle of it repeats by itself the next morning as soon as I open my eyes. I say, I am really so sorry for myself.

Can I just throw my heart away ? Thanks !

You know when you pour your heart out to someone and ur normally not effing honest and especially you just wish they would understand, or not even close to that, its ok, just to actually acknowledge, and the next 5 minutes they say, I beg your pardon ? Is there anything else ? Yes, thats owh gawd.

You know when you only hope and wish for one thing and thats your only hope, but they let you down ? Yes, thats owh gawd. I aint asking for diamonds or stars ya know.

You know when theres only this one thing that can make you happy and you so have been waiting for it for the whole day but you totally got the opposite ? Yes, thats owh gawd.

You know when theres only that very one person who can actually comfort you, wipe your tears and make em go away, make all your worries and unwanted thoughts fade away in a split second, or simply the person who can make your day or smile, doesnt do what they normally should do when thats all you ever wanted at that time ? Yes, thats owh gawd.

You know when you have to live with all of those thoughts and feelings that happened in a very so called suppose to be important night for the next 10 days ? Yes, thats owh gawd.

You know karma ? Have I done this to anyone in my whole life till I have to be done this way especially to you ? So, is this karma ? Yes, thats owh gawd.

Habaq mai sapa tak down ?

Even laki yang hati macam batu ni bole kata dia down, aku ni apa ? Haa, nak tau saket hati camna, macam tu la.

Friends.

We all ada hidup masing2. But, at certain time and point. we do stop our busy life and reconnect or find each other if we are in need. Then, we excuese ourselves and move on with our own thing again.

And I am absolutely cool with it.

So, yeah, it is my thing to say goodbye to some of them. =)

Coz its aussie mann.

Not a pussy thing owkayyy.

Teringin nak kuar sama2.

But everybody is merata-rata. including me myselff. dangg.

And xpalah. Tunggu la lagi.

I´ll show you,
What It takes to feed my mind,
You go trough, reading all my signes
It was a lovely day,
When everything was everywhere
And now love came in to season
I didn´t know you
Nice little dreams you push to side
Can we take to until we see those eyes we love to hide
And I´m alone in bed
In someone elses head

And now love came in to season
Take time and make yourself feel good
And you do whatever you want
Cause you can now, in my world
Make it up for losing so much time
Cause you can now, in my world

We want to take a little walk down this room you know
I´m not scared to cause
If we get back we can take it real slow
Another lovely day
When everything was everywhere

And now love came in to season

Take time and make yourself feel good
And you do whatever you want
Cause you can now, in my world
Make it up for losing so much time
Cause you can now, in my world

Cat meows. Kangaroo ?

For me, that is what I call, perty menyakitkan hati and disappointing sebab I know I wont do it like that la kan. Pa guna kita nak pentingkan orang laen sangat kalo benda2 macam ni pon xtau la nak cakap. Xpa, I have, well, 10 more days to wait till I prove my theory wrong. If you prove my theory right, damn it you, you got a lot to learn. Aku rsa mcam nak ja baling phone bagi kena kat muka seseorang tu. Puaih ati la siikit.

Yea, thank u for realizing that I am leaving tomorrow.

From what you do, because of you
You know I can't be there
Each time that you call
I swore not to come, but I m here after all
I know by the look that I see in your eye
I won't stand around and I won't watch you die
From what you do, because of you

I am hating all of this. No, I dont mind keeping this bottled up inside me.

Yeah, God willing.

When boredom can be closely related to insanity.

Yes, I am very well aware that I am leaving tomorrow. So, more reason for me to be so effed up and triple the cause and effect of every so called 'wrong' thing that is happening to me.

And when you are at the side of the main party who always have to initiate conversation, be it your pooping or peeing, and when you just simply dont, the conversation will just die like that. bravo.

you know, classes pls start. I cant wait for it. So then I have a life and I can say, why dont you just hush now and feel it.

I have a very strong urge to seek for sth else, oh wait, I have been, its just, not that obvious I suppose. And instead of me doing it specifically like I used to, now I go world wide.

You likeee ? No.

Thing number one. Jangan bagi aku naek angin pagi2 buta. Once I naek angin, I will become a verry2 sensitive volcano that would explode jsut with a tiny lil shake. or a poke from ur finger.

Thing number two. If you nak kena marah free2, then try and scold me or raise your voice at me without any apparent reason or simply because it is someone elses fault or has nothing to do with me. Because, I think, i sincerely dont just raise my voice at anyone la. unless if I am excited or high. If it is truly my fault, you may yell or scold me for all you want sebab, it is just my fault. Kalo tidak, senyap.

Thing number three. Kalo aku dah penat wat keja satu hari, enough. Jangan tambah kepenatan aku. And jangan dok suka nak buruk sangka.

Dear, lets get back to reality. Would you want to come along with me ?

Perhaps, I am done torturing myself. I am now quite happy that I am going off soon. But yea besala, miss, risau, stocking n all, normal2. I think this will be a crazy trip, six of us mind you, I am not used to big groups, yea, thats big for me, haha. And yeah, by far, I think i have accepted that I am now currently living with a junior Rizal which is Mohd Rafael. Owkay la, I might maki hamun him every other minute, but I know I love him to bits. I just pray to God. haha.

Next. Trying really hard not to buat perangai or for the fact that I am not getting my daily dose, or anything that is even close to it. Accepting the fact that obviously nobody in this world would kill to please me, haha. And not taking things into account. Or taking even smally little things, nope, trying not to.

Live life at it is. Be grateful. Dont compare. Love yourself. Accept.

dah kot. haha.

1. I am not ready for anything. To move on, to get comfortable with a new life, to well try new things,I dont really feel like it also but I know i would,and will enjoy actually. in that way, at least I have a better outlook in life and that I wont be effing miserable eeeevery effing minute of my life.

2. To sink into deep depression. Na ah. I am not ready and I dont want to. So, yeah.

3. Ready to go to a new place ? Yeah. And to forget everything and to never return to my actual place. I would love that.

Penah dak aku kata pa2 ?

Dakkk. SOoo, shut up !

HUSH.

Juno is a beautiful moviee !

I do wish I can go back to Thailand.

That, i think, is something that I want right now. I miss Miss Pra. Yea, goin there made me feel goood.

I know this is super weird but come on, Sabai sabai ! * i do wish I am in sabai sabai mood *

Name a couple of things that I like.

1. Cats.
2. Someone.
3. Chocolatee.
4. Ice-cream.
5. Cakes.
6. Swimming aka making my brain float and relax.
7. Being super lazy.
8. Not replying to people simply because you just pissed my ass off or I just dont like it.
9. Sleep unconditionally aka have intimate relationship with my bed.
10. Saying, you better shut your mouth up or I will curse you.

i loikeee

Back in school days, moments of glory haha

I dislike tht.

Why dont u take some spade or or tweezers to take the bullet out instead of just looking?

Keep it together now.

Ok, I see there. Why dont I come out from my errr safe spot and try little by little. Take it slow. Why dont u take it slow too.

Rolls on the floor screaming.

idky i feel this feeling, continuously. apa yang tak kena lagi. oh.gawdddd ~

haiyo. one more. when someone is on the verge of nak lompat of a bridge or we say dangling by a string. u dont just simply tolong tolak orang tu and bagi terjun tros? bukannn ? oh gawddddd ~

What I see me in the next three months ?

Yeah, not five or ten years. I can hardly drive. I can hardly cook. I can hardly maintain my room and my cats. I dont do the laundry yet. I dont clean the house. the shit im such a crap. yes, i suck in life. aiman.sucks.

I'm feeling out of bounds, out of bounds
I'm running out of time, out of time
I know there's no such thing as either of them
But its doesn't make me feel any better

I’m feeling overwhelmed, overwhelmed
It’s getting out of line, line, line
I know I’m not alone
Just adolescents, you and I
But its doesn't make me feel any better

Doi. Never use that word with me.

I cannot go on like this..

Every.single.day.of.my.life.

* lock myself in my room, scream as loud as I can with my pillow covering my face *

Sigh.

this is what I call sweet.

Talking about living in this house.

If you feel that it is annoying and that you need to keep repeating the same damn thing. Why not I suggest you to do every thing that is related to you on your own. Kan senang. Tak perlulah pagi2 dah nak bising. Wat kerja seniri, at your own way, at your own pace. Dah, puas hati kan. I believe that I cannot work under a persons wing for long because I dont follow instructions and that I do things according to my own thing la. So shadap.

And I act upon those things.

Yes, I am pathetic as crap.

Need I say more?? No.

Sigh. Maybe I should get some sleep.

When you hope or keep your expectations high, note, not wayyy tooo high even, just slight increase of height, and when it is not reached or failed to even go near the line, damn it. Daymnnn. Forget it already. So whats the point of me trying so hard to maintain that certain level for a period of time. Might as well I just drop down the line and make it to zero. kan ? It tires me sometimes. Effort. Very tiring. takpa2. keep trying. keep it together now.

Press the play button.

keep pressing till its jammed. Great.

Oh, it must have slipped my mind.

You are not battery operated. And that there is no such remote that can control you.

tepukan xkan berbunyi kalo tepuk sebelah tangan saja.

sama la jugak. wat la macam mana pon. xkan berbunyi. kita ja akan penat sebab bodo p tepuk sebelah tgn ja. betui?

I hate you when you do that.

Needless to say.

Needles.

Waiting merupakan satu penyeksaan.

Not la seksa. I would rather call it as irritating. cukup tak suka menunggu. Kalo yea, habaq jar. tok sah dok bagi tunggu. macam tak kenai g aku ni macam mana. haiyo. y u no no me so well wan.

I would appreciate it, if err you would be more errr, whats the word ?

what a guy wants.

I want you to let me play with my/your hair.
I want you to accept my compliments.
I want you to listen to me sometimes.
I want you to smile for me.. (guys love their girls smile)
I want you to hold my hand unexpectedly.
I want you to tell me silly jokes and pick up lines.
I want you to watch Pixar/Disney movies with me.
I want you to try to play video games with me.
I want you to tell me silly stories.
I want you to sing and dance randomly with me.
I want to take pictures and make couple videos with you. (even though guys may not show it, we enjoy taking pictures and making videos)
I want you to not make fun of my little imperfections. (sometimes it gets to us)
I want you to kiss me.
I want you to bite my lip occasionally. (I cant speak for all guys, but damn it feels good)
I want you to tell me you love me.
I want you to tell me you missed me when we finally get together.
I want you to accept me for who I am.
I want you to love me unconditionally.
I just want to spend time with you.
I need you to know that I love you so much..

What a girl wants.

I want you to hug me from behind, unexpectedly.
I want you to give me your hoodie when I`m cold.
I want you to hold me and keep me warm.
I want you to cuddle with me and watch movies together.
I want you to kiss me in the rain.
I want you to hold my hands and play with my fingers.
I want you to play with my hair.
I want you to take amazing photos with me.
I want you to come to my house and meet my family.
I want you to lay on my bed with me and just hold me.
I want you to let me dress you up and make you look silly.
I want you to watch sunrise with me.
I want you to give me piggy back rides daily.
I want you to kiss my nose.
I want you to wipe my tears away.
I want you to tell me that you miss me already even if we were together five minutes ago.
I want you to drop everything and hug me tight.
I want you to take me on a picnic.
I want you to snuggle with me in the movie theaters.
I want you to squeeze me as hard as you can when you hug me.
I want you to smile every single time you see me.
I want you to know how much I love you.
I just want you.

Cheers to that. Talking about being a failure.

now thats a book to follow.

I have to say it. I have to teach it.

Every sentence, every line, every phrase, every word, every alphabet, every signs, every ways,

Saket tau dak.

Nak hilang saket tu aku tak tau la bila. Aku dok buat tak tau selalu ja la ni. Fuh. Lagi saket bila kita kena wat2 tak saket. that kinda sucks.

Yes it;s true if you are beautiful dan sexy, the demand is there.But he is looking for someone to talk to.And u are knowledge blind not knowing this and that and other aspect of life.If you are just a mannequeen he will surely take off in a short while...


Memang muka elok , looks ada, duet nak ada pon bole la. tapi, kita mencari pasangan bukan sekadar utk showcase and tayang kat orang and ckp, weyh, ni la pasangan aku, hot x ? hot pon hot lah, pa benda nya. no, we find a true partner in someone. someone yang boleh dibuat teman dan untuk berbicara. tapi kalo kita ni jenis tak tau apa, tanya ini itu, suma tak tau, ilmu takdak. pikiaq len la kot.

Literature sounds fun to me.

Oh my reddest rose, caldera, set it off
How your fire grows hermosa caldera glistening
Through your fussed blows careen your caldera set it off
As your body flows the second hand flashes passes
Over your skin like time



* the second hand flashes, passes over your skin, like time.

Sleep.

is my only cure now.

Vomit.

is how I express myself now.

I dislike my natural sense of being.

Does it even make sense ? Sigh. Susah sangat ka to go thru a day without any downs ? Yeah.

Whatever. Aku malas. T aku rajen susah pulak kan.

I would love to sleep for the whole day.

My choice of words. My choice of thoughts.

It is normal to get up in the morning and have the few second of le blank moments coz you just got up. Then, when your senses starts kicking in, for me, I call it first thoughts right affter you are actually alive to the world. It might be, I thank god for giving me a chance for waking up again today or either you panicked coz you forgot or late for sth or the stuff that happened yesterday.

As for me, its either sth that has happened that I do not ever wish to see or know, simply because I just dont want to know, because either I dont have it or I cant feel it or things like that, or things that hasnt happen or sth that is just in my mind, yeap, it is only an image that I created in my mind that I am just afraid of or freaked out about. That even by any case, might or might not happen at all. Traumatized by certain things ? Perhaps. Sigh.

Be it if I am cleaning the house or busying myself, still it wont work. Yeah, cramming myself with loud music works, sometimes. That thought would still be stuck in my head and it is putting pressure in my brain. So, maybe I just need to engage in conversations, by all means, a non-stop blabbering conversation just to block my mind from my unwanted thoughts.

And my only hope is to fall asleep at night and hope that tomorrow morning, I would get up with wanted thoughts instead of unwanted thoughts. So, I guess now I need to focus on how to control my mind pulak. doi.

If a picture paints a thousand words.

I think its the art of accepting and forgiving. Of accepting for the fact that, you have flaws, and you did some, and same goes to me. I am not perfect and so are you. You learn to accept my imperfectness and lived with it. So must I. There are things that I am capable of, there are things that I am not, and you are the same. I know i have done wrong too. But you lived with my flaws and my faults, so must I. You accepted me for the way I am, for every weird things I do and have, for the weirdest laugh or sound that I make, to my bunny teeth, to my shortnest and my fatness, to my maggy hair, to my stupid secrets and inside jokes, to my irritating non stop blabbering, to how crappish and screwed up I am, you like me in every way there is. And I like you too, in every way there is. Your messy yet soft hair. Your never ending wanginess but you still do smell nice without any cologne. Your small gap in the middle of your teeth, of how cute it is. your hairy but muscular legs. your chubby cheeks. Of how your eyes will squint when you smile and the lines on your cheeks. Your whale-ness but I always feel safe when I am around you from day one, perhaps your secrets too that nobody might know but I accept it and didnt change my mind about what I think of you, of how honest and crappy you are when you are around me, haha. I am glad that I dont have to put make up on or wear nice things to impress you, I dont have to put a mask over my face. I am glad that I can go out and spend time with you without even bathing for a day or with a chocolate smudged on my face. I am glad I can be who I am when I am with you.

It is hard for me to accept things right now, I am at the verge of we say 'destroying myself'. And for that, thank you for being very patient and just being there with me. I might not be as patient or as strong as I might be, but I will try my best.

All in all, I have what you dont have. But you too, have what I dont have.

I think I am done being manic. Oh wait, I am not ! I am manic, remember ?

I kept saying, all along the way, pull yourself together, mend yourself together, hold yourself together, Get a grip, etc2, craps that are alike. I never knew it took me for over an hour or so to do that, and the effort, I feel like im climbing mount everest.

And thats not it, when I try very hard to pull myself together, when I am almost there, great, it crashes down. Firstly, do you know how hard it is to do it by yourself ? Yes, you have to practically pick yourself up instead of somebody helping you for it. always this, not enough, not hard enough, everything is not. so, take it or leave it la ?

ok fine, i did it. then it crashes. Do u know the word tired ? or not tired, its the i worked so hard to be ok but i ended up not ok again so eff it i am not trying again. ok ? so are u going to help me out again ? no. and stop saying i dont know. all i am waitingg for is for me to be able to fall asleep tonite and just sleep. sleep, thats all I want.

Yes, people say, at times people just need a shoulder to cry on and a pair of ears just to be heard. what if pulak its when i not only need a shoulder and a pair of ears, but a direction. something firm that I can build from there. so, try and distinguish when that person just needs attention or when they really need a good piece of advice.

idk whether its my hormones that are going crazy or my mind. u do read about depression, bipolar, manic, ocd, many more. u have signs, symptoms, cure, bla3. So, lets say u have some of the signs, when should you seek help anyways ? how do u really know u know ? how to help, be a shrink and help me out.

and its always the, you can do it but i cant do it. or, u do it, i do it too. sigh.

And I have to go with it. Great.

Stop it.

So fed up
what's with the scenes?
Observe and leave instead
this pity wagon
penetrates my skin
so sensitive, makes me sick

It might be impractical
To seek out a new romance
We won't know the actual
If we never take the chance
I'd love to collapse with you
And ease you against this song
I think we're compatible
I see that you think I'm wrong

But anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
No choice of words will break me from this rule
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
What choice of words will take me back to you

Your love makes a fool of you
You can't seem to understand
Our heart doesn't play by rules
And love has it's own demands
But I'll be there to take care of you
If ever you should decide
But you don't want to waste your life
In the middle of a lovesick lullaby

Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
No choice of words will break me from this rule
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
What choice of words will take me back to you

Oh my reddest rose, caldera, set it off
How your fire grows hermosa caldera glistening
Through your fussed blows careen your caldera set it off
As your body flows the second hand flashes passes
Over your skin like time

Take me out tonight
Where theres music and theres people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and i
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because its not my home, its their
Home, and I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and i
Just couldn't ask)

Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one, da ...
Oh, I haven't got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

There is a light that never goes out

It makes me sick to my stomach.

Oh god, vomit. All of this.