I was like whatttt ????!?!!! omg but seriously whattttttt !!!!

Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Yes, it is some kind of madness, if u may call it.

Esok posaaaaa !

hehehe. so yeah. i need to do what i have to do. mula2, mintak maaf kepada sesiapa yg diperlukan * ehem2, its a long list actually, i know i havent been a good daughter, a good friend, a good listener, overall a good person, most importantly to my parents la* and to God, i know i havent been a good servant of His, and yes, no actually, xsemestinya datang bulan Ramadhan, baru nak bertaubat and insaf. it can be anytime, just for this month, its a bonus. like maybe its the u know, if u wana do sth big, u pick a huge date in ur life so yeah that kinda thing. and not only *repair* urself and bertaubat only for bulan ramadhan, it should go on even after ramadhan and forever. i mean afterall, life on earth is not permanent. i need to be brain washed or sth.

what im trying to say here issss, trials nak dkat. hahahahaha! and dang, i feel like everything is floating, im afraid it might all crash down in one go. i would rather puke then. and im still not studying around the clock. mcm mana nk dpt scholarship and msok kdu nihhhhh ! dangggg.

dang dangy danng dangg dangity.

Potato wedges.

If this damn epiphany is only going to last for twoooo days, then I need to work harder and get something hitting me hard just to stay focus.

You know whatttt.

Sometimes it is good to be sensitive.
Sometimes it is good to be insensitive.
Sometimes it is good to not voice out your wants.
Sometimes it is good to not voice out your needs.
Sometimes it is good to not glue yourself against something, permanently, like all the timee.
Sometimes it is good to break your heart.
Sometimes it is good to not do anything at all.
Sometimes it is good to have a time machine.
Sometimes, ohh that sometimes when it is so wrong, still, it is still not right.

Expectations versus reality muchhh ?

Savour it ! And that is all I have.

Can I be your memory ?

Punk goes acoustic is actually gooddd ~

And ok fine, chemistry is also good, form five xcover oxidation shaja. for now ok la. ok fine. its simple ok. tapi phy lagiiiii simple.

If u have lots of fb friend requests, xyah la tgk satu2. tgk profile pic dia, if shes cute, approve sja. haha !

So keep pushing yourself, and make your brain explode !

Cause to trust is to depend. And who wants to give up that part of them

And so maybe that is why I cant seem to move.

you can say i knew it all along
that you were all i wanted
to know the pain has made you grow strong
the scars inside have made you beautiful
stop breathing for me
you said it's your right to shun dependence
and you shun
and you're scared to accept
someone to share your regrets
when you're aching
you go it alone
when you want to
you take what you need to make you whole
i know it's not easy
i know i can't feel through what you have been and trust
don't come easy
cause to trust is to depend
and who wants to give up that part of them
you know you can have it
if you want to
i'll find you unrelated, cultivated
when you wake up incubated in me
you're free to leave
if you knew it all along

I wish I went to school today.

Sebab I miss you guys. Well, some of you guys. I need some lazy chit chat dengan dua orang nih, almost about anythg can do, even puke would do. tapi yang paling aku mau sekali ialah radio bergerak aku. ok fine, i know its not mineee, haha, but my own personal portable radio that i can sing along with. ^_^

Damn.

Focus aiman, FOCUS!
Relaxxx, breathe innn n outttt.

* bole gila aku mcm nii *

It was some sort coming from a dream, so unreal. Simply said, it wasnt coming from reality. That was how I felt when I heard almost everything.

GRRRRRRR ~

Sorry, but I don't quite favour anything right now.

Perfect symmetry.

Everybody says that their looking for a shelter,
Got a lot to give but I don't know how to help her,
I should just let it go till they learn how to grow,
And how to liberate.

Everybody says that she's looking for a shelter,
Got a lot to give but I don't know how I felt her,
They should just let it go till these cities learn to grow,
And how to liberate.

Silence is easy, it just becomes me,
You don't even know me, all lie about me.

Everybody says that I'm looking for a home now,
Looking for a boy or I'm looking for a girl now,
I can still let it go, I can still learn to grow,
Into a child again.

Silence is easy, it just becomes me,
You don't even know me, why lie about me.
Silence is easy, it just becomes me,
You don't even know me, why do you hate me.

I don't see myself when I look in the mirror
I see who I should be
I don't see myself when I look in your eyes
Thank God for that

I don't see myself when I look cross the river
I see where I should be
I don't see myself when I look from the sky
Thank God for that

I hear them scream, woooo
On the radio
It's getting louder in the crossfire
Tryin' to find some hope
From the ashes of their broken home

I don't see myself when they fail to deliver
I see what I should be
I don't see myself when I look when I look at the flag
Thank God for that

I hear them scream, woooo
On the radio
It's getting louder in the crossfire
Tryin' to find some hope
Our day will come
Well find the sun
Well find the fire
Well set a fire the love we give
Our one desire

I hear them scream, woooo
On the radio
It's getting louder in the crossfire
Tryin' to find some hope

I hear them scream, woooo
On the radio
It's getting louder in the crossfire
Tryin' to find some hope
From the ashes of their broken home

I don't see myself when I look in the mirror

I won't ever be your cornerstone.
I don't wanna be here holding on.

Pyro.

If I’m forgotten, You'll remember me for today.

Metallica is gooodddddd ~

Chemistry is nottttttt ~

Consumed with what's to transpire

Hot as a fever, rattling bones
I could just taste it, taste it
If it's not forever, if it's just tonight
Oh, it's still the greatest, the greatest, the greatest

Inner peace.

Yeah, inner peace dalam kungfu panda. * yea aku tau, aku pon bole tahan stai panda gak dgn prot boroi haha * i x igt apa maksud inner peace dia dalam tu actually but its kinda like really focusing on sth so hard and so delicate and just flow it out. or ok la for me skg ni focusing all the negative and demotivating factors and throwing it away from me. * sat inner peace terrrreffected kejap sebab terrnanges sebentar haha * ok anyways. yes, find inner peace, get back to where i belong, to what ive used to say to myself, find my roots * ok wait, ive got no roots la actually *, get back to myself and keep in touch with God and me.

yes the month of Ramadhan is sooo near, bulan penuh berkat kan, insyaAllah, kita akan lbeyh byk beribadat, dpt focus on our studies more n yes find inner peace * thats for me * so yeaa, i know i wasnt that happy sbb yea when Ramadhan is here, hence Raya is here, im not looking forward for that. n i dont quite like bukak posa, its like not as meriah as like how others would be, but hey, i still have my parents, thank God for that, and i still have food and roof on top of my head. but still, i think i will enjoy this raya if i pulun ramadhan ni and yeaaa trials dah abes kan. so i get to eattttt3, moneyyyy3, n kluar enjoy kjap. oh n somebody is getting married. haha. so see, i do have things to look forward for.

* trials is like dua minggu lagi n dammit im so not readyyyyyy !!!! *

And yes i know, WOULD I LEARN TO RELAXXX ?!??! im trying ~

sometimes its like too much of input, too little output. sometimes too little input, but over output.

I feel like taking a shovel and dig a hole through the earth and just stay in there for the mean time.

Keep it together, people.

Keep it together. ^_^

It lingers, forever and ever.

And it consumes every part of you. Without any purpose or reason. To why it happens.


I wish I could capture every last moment that I had just now, so then I can remember it for as long as I want. Everything. I didnt want to let go. I think I was in tears because I would miss everything so much. Well, not everything la. Some of em, the ones that I would yearn for. Maybe because it makes me feel at peace, it soothes me, it calms me whenever i feel like loosing myself, the smell, the taste. Maybe thats why. Because I know I cannot get it else where. Thats the only thing.

But nonetheless, life goes on. And its for the better. For everything. And for that I am glad. It shall just be memories, for as long as you want. And that is the last.

I will wait for it. I will wait for the day. God willing. =)

How do I be the best out of the best?

Jyeahhhhhhh!!!!!

Kenapa susah sangat. Damnn.

DODGY !

I gorged myself with tons of home made choc moist cake and home made icecream and I can say I am happy for now. a lil. haha

And I have SPM TRIALS in about two weeks. or less and damn it !

and lets see, the only papers that I am able to answer fully would be maths, bm, bi hurm yea thats all. 3/4 is phy, agma, ok bio half la. chemistry a quarter, addmaths half a quarter, accounts a quarter, ohhhh sejarah. ok la, less than a quarter.

Bagoih ! mcm mana nak masok kdu xtau la annn ~ tmbah2 nk mnx scholarship xtau la ann ~

Believe it or not.

I think I know what I need the most right now.

Its you.

Why buy such a dysfunctional house ?

And I dont know what the hell are u guys talking about. And for gods sake why cant u make life easier larrrrrrrr ?

And oh goodnessss ! u want the house lawa tapi u xmo tukar furniture. ok i know, it involves a lot of money, so improve it or do sth to it la. tu pon xmo. pehtu stg kata la rumah bru xlawa. omg ~

* me giving the evil eye and face lookkk *

I swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you
To late, I'm sure and lonely
Another night, another dream wasted on you
Just be here now against me
You know the words so sing along for me baby
For heaven's sake I know you're sorry
But you won't stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening
And moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across the key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I'd give my heart as an offering

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now
Sleep alone tonight with no one here just by your side
How does he feel, how does he kiss
How does he taste while he's on your lips
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to
But I can't forgive you
So when this is over don't blow your composure baby
I can't forgive you
I know you want me to want you I want to

What in the holy fuck ! haha

bahhhhhh !!!!! bwk la kluar dinner or sth. adoih.

Demotivating factors.

My2, what a word. Idk who to find right now. All i know is, u should stay away from demotivating factors.

I know, but reality of life sucks kan?

I woke up with a news from a friend.

The first thought that came into my head was yea, we all have seasons, in life i mean.

Some of us r going up right now, getting what we want all this while. Some of us r going down right now, confused by our own decisions. Some of us are slacking, like me, idk wheres the drive. Some of us are just so blind as hell. Some of us are just stuck at the moment, still there, not moving an inch. And some of us are just slowly jumping off a building hence ur really getting into trouble and trying to kill urself.

One things for sure, catwoman or some superhero aint gona save u. We all have to save ourselves.

And i hope u wont pressure me when the time comes. I will fucking kill u for that.

So bottom line is, alangkah baeknya iffff tooott3. Haha. I wish i can complete the sentence. But if i do, i think i have just lost my mind.

Ive just watched a 2mins n 42secs video showing GULA-GULA being featured at WHI.

Faints. Speechless. Tu ja.

You dont see it, dont you ?

And u will never see it right ?

Why do I see, in most cases, including this, friends or other people, to be more precise, friends who really care about you as in really for your own good, well being, life, future, everything is able to see your pain and what ur going thru inside of u instead of your bf or gf. or ok most prolly bcuz they are the ones who are causing it, so too busy to handle the situation, they dont realize the damage that they are doing to their partner.

they are the ones who can spell it out for u without u telling em actually. they will come and approach you and tell u the reality of your own life instead of urself. mayb bcuz ur too stubborn or too stupid or too blind to act notice even the smallest, littlest thing in life. they are the ones who realize the chaos that is happening in urself without u actually knowing it. they observe you without u noticing. they act as if they dont give a damn about u, but in their ignorance, they actually care for u very, very much.

i dont understand how one can love someone so much, but without any basis. u promise the moon and the stars but u cant even ace ur exams. whereas the other party is way better than u, and can survive without u and can do way better without u. sometimes ur just an obstacle, u think the other party is a robot that u can control with a remote control ? u treat someone like shit and expect that someone to treat u like a king. get some reality check.

the worse part is u dont see it at all. u dont realize it. u think u know everything, but u know nothing. if u think u have insecurities and problems, have u thought about the other party ? what that person has to go thru everyday, just for u, just to be with u, fighting a war that is raging in herself ? and it gets worse day by day. u dont see that, dont u ? u dont see that she has to fight with herself, knowing that theres so much better things outside there for her if shes not with u rather than getting sick and tired everyday with a person like u who is not trying anything at all to make life better. and u blame her for searching somebody else just to make herself feel better and telling her she is selfish. u dont see that everyday, everybody is telling her to leave u for her own good. telling her to be selfish just to save herself from u. u will never see that. dont make her feel like giving up. dont make her question herself, after all that shes going thru and has done for u, is this what she gets out of you ? whats the point of her wasting her time on someone like you ?

all u see is she mingling around with other people. all u want is ur wants, ur needs and nothing else. she, not caring about u. she, not focusing on u. she, not doing good enough for u. everything is not enough and u with your own words and dramas. are u good enough for her ? are u enough for her then ?

who are you to make such a person to feel that way?

Ten sionnnn, Ten sionnnnnn~

DAMN ITTTT !

Damn it la u. perlu ka ? tak kan. arghhhh. bole gila mcm ni.

So I guess I am not the only one.

With this im telling you
My color changes back to blue
How do i ask you this
Will you help me through

So fucking bad, I came unglued

So you dropped me
Held me by my feet and let me go
I fell between the seat, but nothing broke
I've yet to feel that brilliant afterglow
The one I knew of years ago

Now I'm twisted
Twisted from the waist and spun around
Promised only sky but given ground
Realized the makeup is for a clown
The clown I knew of months ago

With a cherry on top.

I fight with myself for almost every other day now. Almost all the time??

I will shoot you with a water gun.

^_^

Well, it is your song.

I have been understanding and not self-centered enough all this while

You see the book, now u dont see it anymore. For the mean time. I have lots of books that need to be read and reread rather than this book. So i will put it aside. If thats what u call as weak and not facing facts of life, yes i admit, im weak, im not strong, im not ready for this. I know i can do it and i can survive but im so stubborn and idk, i just dont want it. Theres still that something. And i hope that that something is really real, not just a mere illusion just to make me feel happy as a temporary hide out. I had and act still have choices. Act in any time in life, u will always have choices. Its just the degree of damage that has and will be done later on. So i chose this. Id go thru it. With some things that i keep holding on and have in me. The rest i leave it to u. I hope ive done my best. Tho i know i havent but im no catwoman. This is just not it. This isnt it. I havent conquered the world yet. Its all up to u. I hope God gives me courage and strength to go thru this and still walk around with my head held up high despite all the things around me.

So now weve come upon the hardest thing ive ever done
Its telling you that im a mess
What sort of mess i mean
Is self-destructive gasoline
The kind that strips you of your best

Im tired that I cannot even express myself.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

See.

Sea.

Muchoo muchoo desperadooo~

Nachos. Tortillas. Tequila.

Pikiaq logic.

Cant I just sleep and get up at 10am n skip school tomorrowww~~~

Set. It. Off.

If a picture can paint a thousand words.

How does it feel like to be living behind a mask ?

When everything is so bosan and nothing is much of a help at times.

JUST GO TO SLEEP DAMN IT !

I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue,
it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know.

Raaaawwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!!

Serious mcm ngn ulaq sawa makan rusa.

Idky but I find it funny. haha

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglees in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

The rain is fallin' on my window pane
But we are hidin' in a safer place
Under the covers stayin' safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

They start in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way?
I just, mmm

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin' shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Wherever, wherever, where ever you go

Let the past be the past.

Cherish the present and hope for the future.

I dont understand durians.

I mean whats so fantastic about it. Smpai ppl would crave and die for it. I did try n makan oke. Its just entah, id rather makan strawberry or sth. Haha.

So why not ?

I feel so pressured.

Adoi. Padahal xstudy apa pon dah pressure dah. shit.

You're right, I get it
It all makes sense, you're the perfect person
So right, so wrong
Let's all live in your imaginary life

I am not ready.

And I need something. That something that I cannot get and that I have to do it on my own. Damn it. How can I do this ?

I want to see the world.

I want to see the world
Through the eyes of a 3-year-old kid
Where everything is like candy
Where everything is as colorful as a rainbow
Where they still believe that Santa Claus still exist
Where they still believe that the Tooth Fairy would grant them
Where every cloud still would have its very own silver lining.
Where your wish would come true when you blow a candle.

I want to see the world
Through the eyes of a bird
Where everything is light and smooth
Where everything is wide and free
Where oceans and mountains can be conquered
Like nothing is impossible
As long as you have a pair of wings.

I want to see the world
Through your eyes.
Where it shines and glows
Where I see dreams
Where I see a passion that drives
Where I see disappointments
Where I see the past
That cannot be touched anymore

That is where I see hope
But I hardly see fear
That is where I see wants
And I clearly see the desires.

But I fail to see the actual drive.
But I fail to see the actual enthusiasm.

I want to see the world
Through your eyes.
I want you to show it to me.
I want to learn.
I want to know.

The game.

Patotla ang tak bagi aku search. haha

I do not understand how whine can change into water.

By right, wine tastes much better with age. Then how can such thing happen ?

Not all things can be said out loud. Even if that is the only thing that you want to do.

As much as I hate and complain and dread a lottt about finishing my high school in Ibrahim especially form five which is the last year now, I will really miss all the moments at school and the time and the laughs and the jokes and the us. ^_^ i love you guys wey.

byk yang nk dikatakan about high school. to some whom i couldnt express my words or love to or express it in a way, due to lack of time or some reasons that cannot be avoided, just remember that i still love u guys. n i hope with the little time that we have left, i hope i can have more fond memories with u guys. at least, for the last time.

i havent achieved and never will achieve anything like winning a medal haha or my name being called in front of the assembly to receive an award or to make myself known, i know i have quite a bad reputation at school especially among the teachers. haha. bravo to me.

so to top it all of, i dont wana care. i couldnt be bothered.

damn, what a jerk. failure much.

Ada orang patahkan pokokkkk ! HAHA !!!

yeah not the one just to start a conversation.

yes, i like that.

I will crush you.

I need some good, new, refreshing piece of writing to read.

Complement. Implement.

What happens when peanut butter and jelly
Does not blend in well.
Even though both of them taste sweet
Even though both of them are in a paste form
It is actually very simple to make a plain white bread
Tastes good and sweet.
Spread peanut butter and jelly evenly and there you have a meal

But apparently the peanut butter and jelly just cannot seem to blend in well together
Even though naturally they would and should blend in well together.
How unfortunate.
Such a simple thing.
But what a waste.

What happens when the color of your blouse
Does not match with your pants.
What if it does not look good on you ?
What if it makes you unattractive and glum ?

Do you change your outfit ?
Or do you go through the day.
Ignore those sharp glances
Ignore those sharp words.
And still manage to shine and smile
And go through your day.

I just want to weep and die.

Love, Gideon.

I wish I could crawl into a blackhole and weep and die.

My name is mcneer

Breakfast in bed

Do you mind having english breakfast everyday?
Or do you want to change your menu every morning?

How would you want ur breakfast to be like?
Heavy?
Light?
Healthy?

Shoo shoo

I need to stop thinking about everything for the mean time.

Position. Disposition.

Exhibit A.

Exhibit Z.

I hate putting in effort.

I really hate it.

How do you save yourself ?

Being high on a mountain top
Beeing deep down in the waters

You might feel like you are floating and flying
You are too high that you cannot feel the ground

You might feel like you are drowning and suffocating with every breath that you take
You are too low that you cannot feel yourself anymore

How do you anchor yourself to the ground?
How do you keep yourself above the waters?

Trials.

Dah nak dekat gila. Boleh pecah otak nihh.

5SC4 RELAY 2011 !!!!

Woooooohhhhhhhhh! Kalo bole aku nak menjerit2 lagi. Yes, saya hyper sampai ke tahap orang cakap dengan saya pon saya xpaham dah. Muahahahah!

Alhamdulillah, everything went well, everything was good. I am very happy and glad. Yeaaap, relay iz zi most besteztt sportz eventttt everrrrrrrr~~~~

To all of you, i heart all of you. ^_^

And i love water fight. Heheheh

And mr bf, len kali lari la slow ckitttt. Haha. I am glad i get to see it tadi.

Niwaysss. Me happy. ^_^ hee

Saya sayang kumbang saya.

I ain’t got no car
And I've got one pair of jeans
They’ve been stretched too far
And now they’re weak at the seams
I can’t say what’s next
And I got nothin' up my sleeve
But I don’t lose my head
Cause it ain’t really up to me

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity
Sweet Serendipity

I don’t ask for a lot
No nothing more than I need
Because I love what I got
Don’t need to play the lottery
I just want to be strong
At the end of the road
I don’t want to hold on
I want the strength to let go

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity

And what will be will be
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I aint gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity

Don’t look fate can only find you
You can’t choose for something to surprise you
Set sail without a destination
Just see where the wind will take you
You never know when you're gonna fall
But I'm not worried
No I'm not worried

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happened yet
Somethings watching over me

And I’m doing just fine
I’m always landing on my feet
In the nic of time
And by the skin of my teeth
I ain’t gonna stress
Cause the worst ain’t happend yet
Somethings watching over me
Like Sweet Serendipity
Sweet Serendipity

Don’t look fate can only find you
You can’t choose for something to surprise you
Set sail without a destination

Sweet, sweet
Sweet, sweet
Sweet Serendipity

You need to have a hugeee heart. A huge amount patience, strength and courage. A lot of tissues and a bucket to hold your tears. A lot of glue and tape to mend your heart by yourself. And a dash of yourself.

Ke-useless-an

“When we cannot find contentment in ourselves it is useless to seek it elsewhere”

I don't know much,
But I know this for certain,
That is the sun,
Poking its head round the curtain.

Now please can we leave,
I'd like to go to bed now.
It's not just the sun,
That is hurting my head now.

I'm not trying to say,
That I'm smelling of roses,
But when will we tire,
Of putting shit up our noses.

I don't like staying up,
Staying up past the sunlight.
It's meant to be fun,
And this just doesn't feel right.

Why can't we all,
All just be honest,
Admit to ourselves,
That everyone's on it.

From grown politicians,
To young adolescents,
Prescribing themselves,
Anti-depressants.

How can we start to tackle the problem,
If you don't put your hands up,
And admit that you're on them.

The kids are in danger,
They're all getting habits,
Because from what I can see,
Everyone's at it.

I get involved,
But I'm not advocating.
Got an opinion,
Yeah, you're well up for slating.

So you've got a prescription,
And that makes it legal.
I find the excuses,
Overwhelmingly feeble.

You go to the doctor,
You need pills to sleep in.
Well if you can convince him,
Then I guess that's not cheating.

So your daughter's depressed,
We'll get her straight on the prozac.
But little do you know,
She already takes crack.

Why can't we all,
All just be honest,
Admit to ourselves,
That everyone's on it.

From grown politicians,
To young adolescents,
Prescribing themselves,
Anti-depressants.

How can we start to tackle the problem,
If you don't put your hands up,
And admit that you're on them.

The kids are in danger,
They're all getting habits,
Because from what I can see,
Everyone's at it.

>_< not even helping. What is?

Stop calling.

I will kill you.

How often do I get to sit on the couch and watch tv ?

I will cry now. Haha

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.
Edmund Burke

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
Albert Einstein

To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.
Kahlil Gibran

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving.
Dale Carnegie

14. Don’t take things too seriously.

It’s very easy to get wrapped up in things. But most of the things you worry about never come into reality. And what may seem like a big problem right now you may not even remember in three years.

Taking yourself, your thoughts and your emotions too seriously often just seems to lead to more unnecessary suffering. So relax a little more and lighten up a bit. It can do wonders for your mood and as an extension of that; your life.

When you change your attitude you change what you focus on. And all things in your world can now be seen in a different light.

A more useful way is to compare yourself to yourself. To look at how far you have come, what you have accomplished and how you have grown. It may not sound like that much fun but in the long run it brings a lot more inner stillness, personal power and positive feelings.

6. Mistakes and failures are good.

When you are young you just try things and fail until you learn. As you grow a bit older, you learn from – for example – school to not make mistakes. And you try less and less things.

This may cause you to stop being proactive and to fall into a habit of being reactive, of waiting for someone else to do something. I mean, what if you actually tried something and failed? Perhaps people would laugh at you?

Perhaps they would. But when you experience that you soon realize that it is seldom the end of the world. And a lot of the time people don’t care that much. They have their own challenges and lives to worry about.

And success in life often comes from not giving up despite mistakes and failure. It comes from being persistent.

When you first learn to ride your bike you may fall over and over. Bruise a knee and cry a bit. But you get up, brush yourself off and get on the saddle again. And eventually you learn how to ride a bike. If you can just reconnect to your 5 year old self and do things that way – instead of giving up after a try/failure or two as grown-ups often do – you would probably experience a lot more interesting things, learn valuable lessons and have quite a bit more success.

2. Parkinson’s Law.

You can do things quicker than you think. This law says that a task will expand in time and seeming complexity depending on the time you set aside for it. For instance, if you say to yourself that you’ll come up with a solution within a week then the problem will seem to grow more difficult and you’ll spend more and more time trying to come up with a solution.

So focus your time on finding solutions. Then just give yourself an hour (instead of the whole day) or the day (instead of the whole week) to solve the problem. This will force your mind to focus on solutions and action.

The result may not be exactly as perfect as if you had spent a week on the task, but as mentioned in the previous point, 80 percent of the value will come from 20 percent of the activities anyway. Or you may wind up with a better result because you haven’t overcomplicated or overpolished things. This will help you to get things done faster, to improve your ability to focus and give you more free time where you can totally focus on what’s in front of you instead of having some looming task creating stress in the back of your mind.

5. Be proactive. Not reactive.

This one ties into the last point. If everyone is reactive then very little will get done. You could sit and wait and hope for someone else to do something. And that happens pretty often, but it can take a lot of time before it happens.

A more useful and beneficial way is to be proactive, to simply be the one to take the first practical action and get the ball rolling. This not only saves you a lot of waiting, but is also more pleasurable since you feel like you have the power over your life. Instead of feeling like you are run by a bunch of random outside forces.

4. Do what you enjoy.

“Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you’ll have more success than you could possibly have imagined.”
Roger Caras

3. Forgive.

“Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions.”
Gerald Jampolsky

By accepting what is it is much easier to let go of things and to forgive what has happened.

Forgiveness is important because as long as you don’t forgive someone you are linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what s/he did over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering in you and – as a result of your inner turmoil – most often in other people around you too.

When you forgive you do not only release the other person. You set yourself free too from all of that agony.

One thing to keep in mind is to not just forgive others but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or 10 years ago – you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

2. Accept.

“Acceptance of others, their looks, their behaviors, their beliefs, bring you an inner peace and tranquility – instead of anger and resentment.”
Unknown

When you accept what is you stop feeding energy into resisting what is. You don’t make a problem more powerful and sticky in your mind. Instead, somewhat counter intuitively, when you accept what is it loses much of its power. It just is.

And you feel stillness inside. Now, accepting what is doesn’t mean to give up. It just means that you put yourself in a better position take action if necessary. Because now you can see more clearly, you can focus your energy towards what you want and take the appropriate action to change your situation.

Thy name.

Yeah, dengan aku pon.

I miss the old times.

We all somehow just grew apart and away from each other.

I wish I am somewhere else right now.

Die, diee, dieee !!!

WENEEDMOREMALAYFRIENDS!

Hahahah!

I wonder la sapa depa dua nih. Hahah

Do not use my facebook account without my permission.

Thank you.

Belgian thins, butterscotch chocolate and strawberry.

I wish my father is willy wonka! Haha

In pursuit of a bigger goal, we always ignore the smaller achievements. It is the accumulation of these smaller goals, that lead us towards the bigger goal. We have to pat ourselves for every small thing we achieve. This will help us in keeping the momentum going, else a time will come when we will be exhausted and get lost in the cobweb of life.

And every time when we
Go through ups and downs
I always think about
How we could work it out
And every time that you
Need to say good bye
Yes I count the time
When you come back in my life
Cause whatever you say
Whatever you do
I'll be right here
No matter what people say
I'll always be there for you

Cause I cherish every moment
Spent with you
And there's nothing in this world
That I won't do
And I promise that I'll
Always make it right
Every time when you feel down
And start to cry.

Cause it hurts me when
You're far away
I need you right next to me
Aww baby baby
I just can't be
With no one else
Will you see?
I'll always
When you're hurt
It hurts me too
And I just gotta be
The only one that's lovin' you
Cause whatever you say or
Whatever you do
I'll always be right here
No matter what people say
I'll always be there for you

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me

I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
Bout a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it's not easy to be me

Up up and away away from me
Well it's all right
You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

Inside of me, inside of me, yeah
Inside of me, inside of me

I'm only a man in a funny red sheet
I'm only a man looking for a dream
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, it's not easy to be me

Dear Mr. Bf, are you the good type of guy ? =D

Grilled.

- im 17 now. and theres still lots more for me to learn and see. especially about people. people come in different forms, shapes and sized. making it worst their attitude and their thinking and perceptions. i dont understand certain type of guys. now this in a marriage. who treat their woman like some kind of piece of crap. they treat their woman as if they have and are nothing. making it as if u know, once ur married with me, ur tied with me forever, if i leave u or if u try to leave me, ul rot to die. bullshit. we are independent, we are an individual, married with a man doesnt make us less of us or anything. we can survive without a sickening man like u, who treat woman badly. we are indeed better of without u. yes, marriage at some point for sex but dont treat us like ur only sex slave. its ok if u really take us as ur one and only sex slave, whats f is u go out there and jolly with somebody else. i hope u get std. u marry a woman, treat her like u want to be treated. who do u think u are.

- but on the other hand, guys are guys. they are like girls at some point. we are all human, just different sexes. they have fears, insecurities, worries, depressions, all sorts, even mini pms like how we girls do. we are just almost the same. we all share the same thing. its either we express it or not. and its whether the other partner understands it or not.

- u, move on, let go. u call her sick, u call her an asshole but i know u would beg her to stay. wtf is wrong with u. yeah she is sick anyways, why do u still ask her for help. why dont u just learn.

- educators. u are suppose to educate, not to pick on people who are different, i am sorry for not being the normal typical malay girls who barely say anything at all. im sorry for not being typical malay. im sorry im not friends with them bcuz i dont seem to get a long very well with them. i am sorry for being very close to the non malays bcuz i feel more like home if i do so. im sory if im too close with the non malays but damn heck they are awesome. im sorry for having a bf at the age of 17 and is happily with him for 9 months now and my parents n family dont mind about that. im sorry but im not normal.

so just bcuz im not normal, doesnt mean u have to aim at me and pick on me. or even others who just dont fit in the 'society' yes, indeed, i am not the top 10 scores for form five ( and didnt do well at all, even, n that i am not proud of ) or a genius in school but at least i m not screwed up big time like getting involved in social problems or lying to my parents that im not in a relationship and being plastic or smoking or loitering arouund. that u dont see ? that u dont care ? that u dont give a fuck ? i still do pass up my work, i do my work tho i dont pay att in some classes bcuz its just damn stupid. i still do score, tho not the best among the best, i am doing it. even if u would want to pick, just dont, nak nasihat tu nasihat la macam ustaz khalid. i like that more. i know niat dia baek. bukan nya nk duduk satu group dlm blilik guru, cicah apple dgn kuah rojak, n mengata kami suma. bgoih an.

i am not changing or altering myself just to fit in the 'society'. that is not me.

- not talking during assemblies ? for gods sake, i can see a teacher sleeping nicely under the comfort of a fan and a cushioned chair on their asses. and some chit chat worse than us. that ? i und formalities but i dont und why we need to stand under the hot sun to listen to craps. making it worse we cant even read a book.

- ive heard someone said to me, u are not suppose to be like this. u are not suppose to behave like this. dudee, then what do u want me to be ? how do u want me to be ? fake ? plastic ? be that oh so lembut, demure, soft spoken, yang suma org boleh pijak ats kepala kamu mcm tu ? be so naive, be so close minded, be so not expressing ur thoughts. yes, i know im loud, sometimes very straightforward but at least i am honest and sincere to myself. u nak ka pompuan yg fake sgt, who can hardly be honest to herself, more so to u. pnah fikir? shes not even honest to herself, nak honest dkat kamu buat apa kan ? if ur asking me to be like that, damn, its already hard to be my real self and fit in, now ur asking me to be completely somebody who is the opposite of me ? go and check urself !

- blonde, brunette, make ups, plastics. get a life. u fikir dgn make up setebal tepung tu akan bwk u kemana ? pdhal 1+1 pon bole dapat lima. do u think ur getting anywhere with just that ? well u may sell urself, thats all ur good at. get guys attention. ur trying so hard but ur making urself look like a fool. sma jgak kpada mamat2 yg muka hensem smpai boleh cayaq, tapi prangai mcm ngn apa, ur not going anywhere with that.

You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

It comes with a price.

Move on.

And move your butt on !

Weddings, engagements, etc2 ~

Tho I am not very keen of it as it consumes a lot of time, money, effort and so on and so forth. But lets look at the bigger picture, it reunites everyone. Well almost, to be precise. Just the thing is, I cant wait for my sisters wedding sebab yeah the people who i grew up and lived with and bla2 would be around. Thats a happy sight, isnt it ?

Badonkadonk.

hahah. i loikee that wordd

Yea, i beg for it.

I am glad I slept like a dead person.

And I really wonder how it feels like to drink poison like insecticides or somethin. The way writers describe it in novels. Your internal organs, ur veins, ur lungs, ur heart, ur everything are corroding and dieing slowly every second. As if you can almost hear it snap inside of you and falls apart slowly as all of your vital organs start to fail to function. And its happening in you. And there is nothing you can do. It is already in you. All you have to do is wait and die with it.

Anak ikan emas.

I see something that you do not see.

hahah !