pop rocks !

oh n yeah.. now.. i have to say.. goin to school is a bad idea. ahahhah..

serious mayn..

yeah evntho dok kat umah mmg boring n lonely gla.. smpai i seludup kucing msok umah but dia xle dok diam lam bilik so its kinda a bad idea.. n at least i can sleep bit more n then get some facts in my brain.

if la p skola. aku kna bgn awai. aku wat prangai. aku wat my nrml morning going to ibrahim shit face. dont try to imgine if it has crossed ur mind. then heret diri aku p skola. then face all those.

evntho yeah aku bole gila2, jmpa sweethearts, luff around suma. but i play too much. talk too much. xle focus la. thot i can. but xle. td time leong free aku dok amek gmba la trnsfer stuff la oh so tidak baek. so dont. dont waste time goin to school. so i may skip on sund. tho mmg aku akn geylong cz xp skola suma. xgila2, noo hugs n all. but wth. idc la. as long i dpt study..

its an honour :P leong ckp

n yeah. priority. :)

yerrrr...

yea.. aiman ckp kl kdg2. u know who to blame..

nidji - kau yg terindah

mmm... hmph..

dari mata ke hati

im bord... so blogging then il try to study..

so azizs like its ok.. sminggu ja g. xyah la dok fikir pa dah.. strugle ja.. sminggu ja g wey.. pastuh ang enjoy la. .tho.. aku pun xtau...

so yeah.. il try..

adoiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !

aku fikir a, wat if la, xdpt 8a, suma bnda for all this wile, tiap2 ari i drag myslf to schl, bgn awai, wat hmwrk, kdg2 tpi jrg tpi dulu agk sllalu kot stay up to finis hmwrk, p ttn, parents pnat2 bgi duet, tlg antar, beli buku belambak, their hopes, everyones hopes, slama 3tahun dkt junior high, then 6 years primary, 2 years tadika, adeh....

amat menyedihkan, menyakitkan, n so on n so forth...

tlg a aiman. pmr skali dlm idup. aziz ckp...

pmr bgos, spm bgos, univrsity bgos, krja bgos, duet bgos, idup bgos.

still.. it invlves ur future yaddy3.. omfg...

so ugh... its ok.. hang on.. jap ja g.. :)

now i know, no la i mean, me having pendorong yaddy2 its wrong concept of life. idk la. but thts wat i think. u need ur fcking self only. to move on. to push urself. to byk lgi. dont depend on others maynn... its not gona help.. sooner or later ul realize ur act all alone.. no matter wat.. btulll...

bkn la its wortless ka apa.. its act nice.. :) keeps u goin.. n its act ok act. xslh pun. but accept the fact.. it has to stop at one point one day.. u got to go on n move on on ur own..

n i xsuka la aziz. ahahha.. i mena.. he mcm can knw wats goin in my mind. n he can agak wat hapend to me earlier tht day or few days ago. like a big event dia akn tau. like seriously. byk kali jadi. i knw its pure coincidence but fckin hell it freaks me out. like seriously. he jz looked at me straight in the eye n ckp.. aiman ur dot3 msti dot3 bru dot3 dia akan kata dot3 lama2...

adeh la aziz. wth ?! mcm mana u tau ?! xdk org pun tauuuu...

n yeah. i love aziz. i learn a lot from him. next year bm aziz ! n so mr lim la. :)

sayang kmu dua. i love u guys. :)

n tau dak.. tension aku tension.. :) !

u know wat ?!

no its not idc... ijdk wat to do...

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... this semi-charmed kind of life !

kaki aku agk tergeliat. ahahha.. akibt pijak kasut seseorng ini. n tah aku suka ter--- pijak kaki dia.. hahahha.. seriously la... ter.. then yeah itu sja...

so tdi tym wat kertas geo.. yeah the ppr was ok la.. i still dk wat to do wit my ag. help ! so i kaleh2, tgk, i was like wth? xpa. tgk paper blek. then kaleh g. iwas like biaq btui. xpa. tgk paper blek. then kaleh blek waaa... ahahah... xpa. tgk paper blek. kleh balek tgk2 ewww. ow tidak. kah3 !

conclusion : toksah dok mepek !

school tdy. xigt pa. pg was oke. dok telan skittles. syok2 amek gmba suma. yeah i jz spent like well altgther 5o bux. 4o topup. tingl 3o ja. then 1o bux candies. i need em. i mean sth sweet. hehe.. act mmg nk chocolate. sgt2. but hy posib if mkn sorethroat la n so on. so bek candies. but il bring to schl oso la. hehe.. :)

lpas pmr.. aku xtau la wey. i m epy. n i cnt imgine life without pmr. just yet. :)

n i realized sth.. dlm byk2 org la aku slalu duduk tepi, hang n all of those.. wel plg ketara duduk la.. i find it wow.. :) all this while aku dok ngn org len suma, still xdk org mcm dia.. xsma.. muka dia, bdn dia, how it feels n all.. semua la.. xdk org mcm dia..

hmmm.. :)

iknow.. wen i smile so much.. its creepy.. scary.. kah3.. lek a.. aku xwat keja bodo nya..

n yeah.. jgn la emo.. kna gmbira.. yeah bro.. :) yerrrr....

em... tah la wey.. aku rasa cm.. unexplainable.. ewat is unexplicable again? nvm...

my screen sver n wallpper. i like it tht way.. ditukar agk selalu...



farah aiman cupy + farah ameliner cake = ass + hole = cupycake asshole


wuuuuuuuuuuuu.. i so love tht damn equation. muahaha..

aku xle log on ym.. aku xtau pasepa.. intrnet pun mcm chi bai. so oh wteva. s long s i can blog. not dling stuff for the mo.. ahh... any artists or bands tht ul like to recomend n movies too.. pls do tell me.. m gona wtch em.. :) afttttttttttttttt pmr... huhu..

erm.. yea lo.. itu saja.. n its kinda like we r havin ribut. err.. ris was like wey ang jgn terbang kat aku oke.. m like yeah il try.. kuat gila..

dia lak.. wey.. budak.. budak kecik.. mai sini.. blnja aku.. n byk g..

aku png pala ah.

ok suda..

stop crappin..

if a picture paints a thousand words . . .

too bad

mum left me that note yest b4 goin to work. m like wtf.. suma soh study.. kalo bole mkn mndi xyah. yest, well i kan suka wat muka pelik2 esp time geylng, so dads like y u look so funnny? then i wat muka plik g.. then he was like y u studied so much til ur head has split in to two?

well.. maybe.. ahahhaha

then tdi plak, he ckp so u must focus, concentrate, study 1 hr then maybe rest to urself clear ur mine 4a wile then start again. this iis ur last stretch. tlking to frens pun only during ur break time 4awile only. i lst tym started like tis a month b4. friends come also i dont talk to em. i study. u only got 1 more weekk..

m like.. wtf... u did tht a month b4. n m doin it rn.. owww.. danggg..

so m tinkkin shud i stay bec. coz if stay at home i tido la esp esok p skola msti blek skola nk tido nya. dhla skali tido 3jam. si a wey.. adoi.. but tah.. idk la.. i dont dare to ask. i dont even dare to let fitree mai umah men kucing. dont even dare to go out with em. ahahahah.. yeah.. mls pun.. xpla.. aft pmr.. jappppppp ja g.. :)

its just a fucking pmr la man !

aku syok geo. tpi still wat slh gak a. sn pun oka not bad. sej yet to touch. ag tryin. xmsok otak a. agak susah. em kh lterrrrrrrrrrrr... literature stuff tnyt or tmrw. oh yeah. so itu saja.

n its not cool wen tcers knows ur phone num. esp wen ramli lak dah tau. farah ameliner, hang on. its ok. n zurina dok tnya wat xmai arini? i was like sket pala. seriously la wey. then tnya lak mak kmu tau? parents kmu tau? mak kmu mana? ada ka? dok sorng umah ka? m like wtf la man...

i lurve tis ting !!!!

soooooooo... tpi my study tble.. act an.. card rayas given by my sweethearts n stuff like drawings, letter suma tu.. theyre my pendorong. :) wen i feel down i akn bukak file usha those stuff.. i love em so mch n appreciate em so3 much.. thank u u guys ! so left corner hehe farah ameliner yg bg. :) idup makmur !!!! ahahahhaha n byk g ah wey.. ass+hole pun ada. kita ma. :) then myselff made in a hurry mad time of pmr 8a.. no time to mke it ncie ler.. then the most rite is act didis drawing. u know the one yg ppf n cken little. m the yak? rite? ehehe.. i lurve em. :) then bwh tu my jdual yg aku xikot la an. s usual. then yeah 3a3 class pict. dk dah pna mention here x but my lappy nya wallpaper is our class pica.. sukaa.. :) then yg plg tepi tu thatchu bg. my 1st kad raya.. ehhehe.. :) sukaaaa... ada gmba kucing wic is me n her.. hahaha.. n of coz.. nemo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wanted to stick one more wer sketched mine n pits hand on this paper. but xdk tmpt.. ok la tu.. cukup da la tu...

thank u very much u guys :) ! !

so thatll be aft pmr la an.. hehehe

ow... still.. my life with picas n moving aroun still goes on.. :) life still goes on mayn !

hai... nama saya farah aiman.. or f.a.c.. farah aiman comey...

i knoww.. wat the hell ?

erghhh...

smbel menunggu ktibaan aku lupa da sapa..

me n darwish !

aku ni masih manusia biasa.. yea.. aiman pgg phone nokia ?! sjak bilaa... entahh..

- rizal bru ja balek. ptc wat raya clbration. the staff ja. so my dad p ronggeng/ well all i know is he danced. hahahahah.. n did a sketch. imgine.. omg. he dpt hadiah pun. wat apen to my dad? ahahhaah

ok da.. have to study.. nnti blog g.. kowtttttttttttt...

esok farah pegi skola daaaaaa.... :) .. mmmm...

champagne!

Embracing Imperfection

- mail from my mum.. i get lots of em from mum, sis, dads ofis ppl.. penat aku nk bc satu2..

"When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said : "Baby, I love burned toast."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned.. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!" You know, life is full of imperfect things..... and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.

'What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! "

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket but into your own."

all i can say is wow..

like seriiiously..

aku suka over the hedge..

n lagu-lagunya..

:)

over the hedge !

You don't stop...

Follow me into the great unknown
Where pink flamingos grow
Diet soda flowsand what you take magically regenerates
on supermarket shelves
the ovens clean themselves
you don't pay the tab 'til the last drop
So we all ride for nothing
Cuz this train never stops

Da da da da da da da da da da...

We make a good team,me and you, we do
You could scratch my back
And I'll scratch my back too
When Everyone is welcome at the party, yeah
People more is moreAh we all want more
you don't pay the tab 'til the last drop
So we all ride for nothing
Cuz this train never stops

Da da da da da da da da da da...

breathe !

move along !

stay strong !

all this would end very soon !

just hold on !

keep holding on !

dont cry !

big girls dont cry !

- i do feel like crying since last night
- pmr ja pown wey.. bukannya susah sgt..
- study ja la wey.. xkn xnk 8a kot...
- bad idea staying at home..
- ill be going to school
- i wish daddys here
- dont feel like eating
- whats wrong with my mum !?!
- i dont know what else to say
- tho i do have plenty of em
- so

THE END

- dramatik nya . . .

ergh . . . tima kaseh

aku bengang gila.. wel xla bengang gila2 sgt. tpi agak ah.. tx to my mum. tx !

tq very much !

yeala.. m just sayin to myself.. xpa.. jgn lawan. xpa. xyah kata pa. she da kata cm tu. its ok. pmr nk mai dah. xbek wat cm tu..

shes ur mum. she knws wats best for u.. - aha, tau la sgt an.. - afterall, she is ur mum..

aha la...

aku tau la wats best for me suma walaupun aku ni hnya berusia 15 thun. esp dlm bab2 study ni la aku tau la aku nk study cm na ka pa ka. slh ka aku nk study grup ka study ngn member pun skg ni?! slh ka. aku tau la nk dkt gila2 bapa ari ja g bukan few months. so wat? ada time nk study g an.. dhla aku akn p umah member tu, ang pikiaq aku akn men2 ka? dhla umah member tu mak dia ada, so pikiaq aku akn men2 ka? aku akn study la. yeala. focus. aku dok tgh ah ni. yeala. its exam. its not just ntg. ha la . aku tau. xpyh hbq. i m studyin. ang ja xnmpk. at least i m tryin. stni kang aku malaih nk study lgsg kang. bukknya aku xpna wat.. then aku nk study ngn member wic aku pna wat n it helps. aih. wtf la. wteva!

geram........... then dhla ckp stai cm nk marah aku. pa mslh ang? aku wat pa?! if at least i tau if daddy la yg ckp aku akn dgq n aku xkn bengang. daddy lg pndai nshat..

then skg nk ckp pun dok raise voice. dia dok tgh crik kslhn aku la ni. aku wat pa? !

yeala nk make it clear. aku rasa suda clear da la. ang mmg xphm...

pungkoq...

daddddddddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!!! i want u home..

- dont ask me about this, i dont want to talk bout it.. -

have fun in school tomorw..

i lurve my life. :)

its ok. all this will end so soon. just study. its ok. :) study ja.. sng ja.. :)

breatheeeeee aiman breatheeee... she knws wats best for u.. u dont.. u dont even.. ok la.. bla3...

i hate this..

goodnyt.. m tired n i wana sleep..

Just sssssshhhhhhuuuuuussssssshhhhhhhh ! ! !

You should have killed me when you had the chance

pieces

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real

I’d thought it’d be easy
But no on believes me
I meant all the things that I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad

Sometimes it’s so crazy that nothing could save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

(On my own!)

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong

It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

i used to make out with medusa

so its 942 pm.. tryna breathe.. kenyang.. nak muntah.. lack of oxygen.. n em.. waitin to study..

soooo.. ttn was.. well ok ja.. bole wat.. perah otak ckit.. sat 2 rows frm the frnt.. xsukaa... it was ok..

then em.. yeah p beli kasut ngn pitee. haahha.. bkn beli la.. nk p usha.. hes like size 12? wtf yeah.. p like 5 6 kedai ka.. xdk size dia.. well satu the design xdkk.. i mean patternn.. then size dia...

bfre nk blah aunty turned to me n ckp ah aiman p la beli ksut ngn fitree.. then she smiled at me.. m like ahhh.. ahaa.. yeaa.. then uncle lak dok ti e ang jg aiman elok2.. stni jdi pa ka susah.. dok ckp pa aku pun xtau.. yeah la. cross the road man.. aku dh la pndai lintas jln an.. xsuka2..i was like pitee !!!!! suma tu la.. then pitee dok ha bek2, ha jln laju sikit, ha lari, tgk tu ang kurus da, lariiii, wey longkang! n byk lgi.. hahahah.. dhla my sluar nk terlondeh.. both of ours act.. pandai ngt xmau pkai belt..pstuh lari g.. mmg bengong.. so yeah m so not fit.. xpa.. aft pmr..

suma skg ni aft pmr. :)

kita tunggu yer...

n bengong piteee!!!!! mmostly suma gmba amek ngn cam dia. mamat cerdik wat pro tu p trsilap tekan delete suma.. mg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cek2 pd, mana tau ada an gmba yg amek.. xdkkkkkkkkkkk.. mg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was screamin.. hahahah.. yang dia tu lak lek ah bro ,xpa bro.. len kali kita amek la. jgn ah nges.. bengong kmu.. ko fikir bole da ka!!! cissss btull....

well so ada la gak gmba.. tpi yg amek tym mlm tu mmg xdk.. sobzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ! eeeee....

esok skola.. i knw i shud b epy bout it.. i tink esok il b non stop talking. but who knws la kan.. aku ni geylong.. esp now.. but yeah m gona try n study like nobodys bzness. like seriously.. wish mmg aku rs xjdi.. ahaha.. n esok.. xpla... aku tau pmr nk dkt da.. but xpa.. m so gona study.. ahahahah... il try.. hmph..

so.. well.. i shall not say it.. nvm bout tht..

i can be mean if i want too.. well i m kinda now.. just bila nk fully mean.. dey....

aiman... study.. pmr jap ja g.. less than two wiks.. pulun ja la man.. bknnya susah nk study.. study ja la an.. bkak buku bc.. bkn susah mana an.. study ja. xrugi nya. xrugi dpt 8a pun. lgi bgos cm tu.. so go for it.. :) ketepikan suma skg nihh.. lpas pmr ko nk p wat pa pun p la wat.. skg priority pmr.. like aziz says.. kmu msg2 dlm perahu sndiri.. kamu kna mndayung seniri dn pergi ke destinasi kmu sendri.. xdk org yg bole tlg kamu...

so yeah.. i have to do it.. have to help myslf.. lupkn lah pendorong. lupknlah petrol.. u need ur fcking self n ur fckin brain !!!!!

so oh wat the fuck ?!?

n u knw..

idc !

m so not in da fckin mood

i love pmr

my life, my way, go away ...

so its 107pm..

guess wat time i bgn?! at 6 !!!!! shahahhaha

norlis blek jap ngn bf dia.. bf dialter on.. so suppose to smbg blek tido ngn dia la kan, but i decided to get up. n i dok mepek2 sejam lebey. nearly 8 bru strt study. did geo. lil bit more. n m goin for sn la i gz lter. sej perhaps tmrw. i forgot facts again. ugh great..

so yeah. aiman geylong. bgn awai gila..

so mums like no go n rest. no go n study. no xpa xyh tlg. tdi guest mai. so kna la help an masak suma she kuar2 bilik ckp study leklok na. xyah tlg. m like na nk tlg. she said no xpa. stay here stuyd. m like wtf.i rather help u than study. coz i feel cm bersalah tau. i knw la my pmr tpi i feel beta if i help u coz mcm if i study an x psti suma facts msok otak bek tlg dia an. but i study. well kinda kot. owh maynnn.. then xpla..

ahh.. mamat tu.. xckp pun ngn dia.. xkenai.. xpa. just tdi b4 leavin me.dad, norlis, mamat tu. then dad tnya me wats ur frens name ah ? m like ah? i have many friends. then he pointed to tht guy.. then i was like owh.. azneer.. - the hair - then dad tnya dat guy nama dia pa.. he was like azmel? ka pa dia. tau az.. n ada e.. i was like wtf. biaaq btui.. rmbut dia ja.. spikey.. bdn dia big size.

so itu saja.. sis da blek da.. dpt duet raya g. hehe.. taun ni chun..

n few days aft raya tu.. uncle frm baling mai.. n cousins suma la. idk knw em nor talk to em. meet only once a year tu pun il like tau2 je la. last year xjmpa. so cm ada mamat ni. dia msok then dia hulur tgn. i pun xpla p la slm. then slm2 dia tnya knai ak? m like ah?? dia ckp xknai ka? i was like daakk... so aft wat keja suma.. i sat down.. then he sat in frnt of me.. he tnya g.. knai dak? m like dakk..so he ckp ah.. u rmb.. lg time ago.. wen u wer small.. kita p dusun.. then i carried u on my back to go across the stream. then i was like laaaaaaaaaaa.. yeah2!!! igt3!!! of coz i igt.. i suka gila. hahaha.. so act dri kcik i di-piggy back kot. ahhaha... then pegi mkn buah la suma... but not tht clear tho.. eehhe.. soo.. rupa2nya mamat tu my csn.. aku ni.. bkn tau sapa2 suma.. relation pun xtau.. ni nama lagi la aku xtau.. terok2..

so pmr jap ja g. xpla wey.. aft pmr kita enjoy. :)

bole dia tnya aku yest.. ckp esok ko ada sp x? i was like yea ada. y? then dia ckp aku nk ajk ko g cs.. nak?? aku mcm syg oi, ang mepek pa. pmr dkt gila. n mcm la mak aku bg p. perghhh...

dey... ttn... malas gilaa.. oh yeah.. yest whole day pg.. lets see.. i bought well my mum nya duet la kan.. new pair of jeans.. em one sweater. n on ebju with hoody. yea.. itu sja.. but its al llike lines2.. mcm emo pa. hahahah

ok la.. act aku xtau nk wat pa.. finding mood. tpi cm pa g..

idk wats wrng with me..

ow wat the fuck ?!?

pop rocks

hey there girl yeah you know who you are

You walked into my life and then you stole my heart

I think it's those eyes that keep killing us guys

And for your sinister smile the b-b-boys go wild

Baby its those things you do, that make me think im falling for you, yeah!

Hey there girl you got me going again

Don't bother with the other boys i'm better than them

Just tell me what i need to do

Baby i'd do anything for you

I'll hold you close and i'll never ever let you go

I'll text you all night long and even write you a song

When you've had a bad day i'll leave a note on your car

Just to tell you that you look like a moviestar

You're my audrey hepburn and i'm your james dean

So tell me will i get you girl by the end of the scene?

But all i know is that girl you got me going again

And i think you like me to (lets not pretend!)

Baby it's those things you do, that make me think i'm falling for you

Hey there girl you got me going again

Don't bother with the other boys i'm better than them

Just tell me what i need to do

Baby i'd do anything for you

I'll call you late at night, to help you fall asleep

Then call you in the morning, so we can talk about our dreams

BRING

ME

THE

HORIZON

kooaaalaaas....

apakah sebab yang menyebabkan aku ingin muntah selalu ?

u guess.. i think i know why..

brief interviews with hideous men

All your marsupial annotations
That you carry around may ring
Through their ears
But to us make no sound.
We never asked you to squat
On our intricacies of employment,
But honestly the harder you
Squeeze facilitates the enjoyment

Oh just look at all the pretty boggling array
Of punctuations marks at our disposal slashes.
Dashes and dots of various sorts.
Might even meet our proposal.

Hot flashes,
And rashes
I'm feeling
Particularly pretentious;
Your vasomotor disturbances
Only rev up our engines.

DIALOGUE ALL THE SHIT YOU WANT!

BUT MAKE SURE TO USE THE BIGGEST FONT!

THE LOUDER YOU SPEAK THE MARE THEY MENTION.

BOLD OR UNDEFINED THIS WILL GET YOUR ATTENTION!

m not a superhuman . . .

a break

m so full..

coz i ate too much.. hik2.. but sdp pa.. but ya.. nk muntah..

y must i feel like throwing up almost every other day? or is it mmg everyday?

time to go for the kitties.. n yeah..

i need to go cycling..

mmm...

n esok.. idk wats happening tmrw..

sabtu dah occupied..

sund dah skola..

mg... yeah kueh raya if posib..

survive man.. ur a survivior..

:)

omg !

n yeah..all over my room. i lekat pmr 8as mcm org gila.. il post pics lter if rajen.

even did sth on my mirror with my nail varnish.. tpi hodoh.. since nail varnish tu pun lama da..

so m i here to spread the word?

or am i here to get my petrol back? or to find it?

get wat i mean ?

noo...

if no one can push me,

if no one can motivate me,

i have to push myself !

i have to motivate myself !

i have to do it !

its my own future !

its my life !

i can do it !

- errr.. yeah..

when i saw the picture, i was like, are u ready for that?

my answer is.. certainly, of course im not..

and i dont think il ever be...

okay.. o m g.. hahahahahha..

crappp...

lets crap

i know, i havent been writing bout sth like really writing.. idk what to write about.. coz tah. rasa cm pungkoq ah wey..

well.. i knw.. since i xmaen mercun, nxt year raya, :) i got an idea. i have one year to have my mum n dia nya mom to be friends so tht next year i can go to umhnya earlier help out n all n stay there longer. n maennnnn mercunnn.. if la dia raya sini lagi or somesort. god willing.

my mums like bring me to his hse. seriously. english concept is the chun ting. i love it. msok2 ja umah dia i felt so waaaa.. yeah i love his hse. n his mum. beautiful. fair. nice. friendly. at first i was kinda scared since all the stories i heard from others bout his mum, but pdhl, i tgk baek ja. frenly ja. xdk hal. helped her a bit. offered nk tlg cuci pinggan. i mean come on, the whole day i dah spend with tthe two dudes, so let me wash it. not the whole day but i rasa yeah. lm gak ah.. she ckp if u wash those plates, dont u ever come in this hse anymore. m likke errrrrr... dang...

kucing tom tidak sihat. dang. n ada goldfish. few of em. fed em. comeyy...

food was ok. spaghetty. ksian aunty tu. coz like i bet sure xdk org tlg nya. she sorang ja ah. so next year if la ok suma il come n help out if xdk org tlg. like seriously. kesian.

then she dok pokpek2 sikt ah bout how shes worried. pmr is near. how dia wat keja xkna. hahaha.. i knw.. tgk pun tau..

mak aku xksian? ahahahha.. well ive been helpin out k. except for tht day since the whole day plyin roun. n today too. i bgn dhla lmbt dah. mls ah nk tlg. arini ada org mai. sabtu pulak mum p pndai2 offer soh mai umah.m like wtf. i yg kna tlg. aih. dahla arini rizal xdk. xsuka. well my prents at home xrasa sgt. since jln sana sini. but its ok. :) wasnt a nightmare as expected.

em then yeah ppl dok lam umah, kitorang p dkt plygroun. jln2, on the phone ngn both azims. jerit2. amek gmba dlm gelap. ahahahah.. ok la. dok sat. then blek. rizal tau aku mati. act, aku xpna wat cnni. yeala an. walaupun aku tido lmbt gila tpi my tht life ends as early as 10pm.

n aku agak berpeluang utk naek moto. hahaha.. wey rindu la. nek moto.lm gila dah xnekk...

then em.. lgi.. wat happen. wel itu saja. dok amek2 gmba g. yet to get the pics. last ting i rmbd there was b4 i left, looked up at the skies and nmpk bunga api. niceee.. itu saja..

wednsday. went to pg. dang. almost cried la dey. did la a bit. bengong gila. then went to mummys hse. dang her food. rindu gia. dulu every week, well once a week sure mkn nya. haix. then men2. dukung babby. dgn muka xmalu p ja mkn biskut byk2. hik2. then bes ah. n everytime i go there, il learn sth. :) hmmm..

so what did i learn? entah. just appreciate wat u have. dont la ask for more. its enuff. n byk g. but mls ah.

m aku mcm kureng mkn ja. xlpq. only lunch tym n nite. mornin i dont eat. wth is happening..

second chance - shinedown

so suma dok bila pmr?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sat ja g. very sat. n now i dont even dare to say tht we have time anymore coz we dont really have. haix. yeah moods slowly goin down. only hope is ptg2 men kucing, go out cycle. so now anything can be higlites of my day. n i find it hard to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! erghhhh... xpla. dont sleep la. die. hhaahahah..

so yeah. just study. tho. idk. i tink i need school to get me back. just at least to study. thats all i want..

but tah. no assurance that il b tlkin so much. xtauuuuuuuuuuuuu laaaaaaaaaa....

but xpa..

:)

Peace out . . .

- sunday dh skola da . . .

m gona pick up guitar n organ again aft pmr. . .

well very high posib organ. :)

You wana kill me

Youll never touch me

Im never leaving

Dont trust me

Never trust me

Dont trust me

Cause im never leaving

feeling like slightly throwing up again.. when will i throw up.. like seriously..

superhuman..

aku rindu sama dia . . .

oh crappp . . .

i am a big girl now

don't cry

big girls dont cry

wallpaper

i wana ! all american rejects..

issues... the saturdays..

not meant to be.. mm.. theory of a dead man..

kenangan yang terindah.. samsons

best i ever had.. drake..

aft pmr.. :)

h e l p

H M P H . . .

erghh.. aku nk muntah lagi...

igerrr...

soooooooo.. i feel like vomiting. stuff in my tummy about to come out. my throat. bluek! like seriouslyyyyyyyyyyy.. help.. well i alwiz feel this way. but this. is. worse.

nk trmuntah gila tramt sgt.

ok. so bgn. alarm like 8+. dok snooze2. then raudha call. hyper gila. m like wth? dhla phne nya speaker rosak lagi an. on of ok la. so loudspeaker. aku dok uhh lagi.. then xpa. baring blek. then mum. so ok i got up. nga2.

did the cats. nganga. mandi. then kiryu call. ckp nk mai. xpla. me n my mum dok tunggu. well smbg2 suma n msg2 suma. at last mai. lambt gila. kalah minah depa tu.

mai 11+. balek kol 2. mums like hang suma ni dok lama sgt wat pa? m like tah. ahahaha

em. so mai2. dok suma. aku segan gila kot. aku ngn pitee xpala. kiryu dak. dhla cm tu an. cm aiyo. so dia dok tnya, point kat rmbut dia.. staiii.. ahahah.. mums like awat dpa dua muka sama. mmg sma pun. even the body nk sama. hair laennnn.. hahahah..

so makan2. kmi dok pokpek2 sikit. xtau nk ckp pa. more to shut ups. n more to me n pitee. kmi besala. ahahah. dia kureng ckp. i pun dok byk ngn pitee. xbiasa ah ngn dia. tpi ok la. oh ok. for a mo. adakah he was left out? i hope no. well he pun dok dok situ ja. dang... x kowt. xtau ptg nnti pulak cna g. il make sure pitee ada gak. pitee xdk mmg aku xp. n il b wit pitee again.

then dok men kat luaq punya lama la til mums like theyre outsyd for so long to my dad. n hes like na xpla, kt luar xpns. act xla pns sgt. but since me n kiryu was on blck n pitee orange. pitee mg. dia active gila. dok jalan sana sini xhnti. yeah dia xtau pns nya. kmi dua dok sweat la pa la pitee dok syok g men kt luar. n stocking loves him. siap dukung stockin g. kiryu xmau since dia nk jg bju sluar dia tkot kna bulu. pergh la dia tu. so yeah jalan2, tour2 dkt hutan lipur rizal. ahahha.. amek gmba sikit there. n theres a pic wer pitee dukung stocking, dad tepi dia n kiryu at the side. i love tht pic. il get all the pixies lter. :) lagi tah. brgmbar ja la bwh tht so call god knws wat. dok2 dpan umah. ckp3. tu ja. hang out cm tu ja.

then msok blek since it was to hawt n nk amek gmba g. ok gak a. suka. aku dok tgh. hahaha. dads like wa u guys nk jadi photographers eh? then he asked me how many thousand pics did u guys take? i was like arhh, dak, less than 20. wic yeah less than 20. alaaa.. lupa nk amek gmba all of our legs. haahah.. bu ti did with kiryu my hand. cacat gila.

so yeah. dpa sopan gila. ahahhaha.. kiryu bek gila. salam la suma. ckp pun suara mg. m like wtf happend to u? n dia mngtowk. pitee lak wey jom ni jom tu. dia dok kalot gak a..

so blek lo. so its 330 now. kna study. mandi. then off to kiryus. i can stay thre the whle nite if i want too. but no. pitee xdk. so m not. n m so gonna play with tom. ahahah

so itu saja. aku blurr. aku kna study da. oh dang.

n idc. n i wish it ends.

pmr pls come. i wana go out.

aku bru nk study. mak aku soh tmbh2 biskut.

aku bengang sat. aku bengang ngn byk bnda gak.

i wana go out.

now !

If life gives you lemon,

You make lemonade.

:)

i wanna, i wanna ! ! !

so sbnanya, ini cmpuran. not all raya. but oh wells. :) enjoy..





dont ask me how or wat. hahaha.. shes a piggggggg..




ngehehe.. zmn mude2 dulu. :)

kenal ak2? ahahaha.. the horse i tink strawberry. me with red cheongsam. hahah.. sbnya aku ni dulu brmbut pndek. bru ja rmbt pnjang. huhu.. so whilst cleaning the hse.. tgk intrsting gak. hahaha

i oh so miss straight hair.... m so gona do it again.. ugh.. well hopefully.. sobzz.. aku taw. aku ni mcm ikan. nemoooooo.. hahaha

gmba sblm cuti. sbnyaa. aku sedey cuti. haix. sobz. but oh wels. i kissed sm1. muahahhaha..

whilst waitin for pitee. parents with their idk god knows wat song yg memeningkan kpla otak aku .like seriouslyyyyyyy.. then the other pic tu, no commenttt..

msih menunggu ketibaan pitee n familianya. told my prents. u guys kan, i tgk. ul surely rmb pitee n his femly till u die. like seriously. yeah. even tdi. his mum n my mum idk la somewat somesort related. oh yea. oh my god. so my dads says yea wat u say is true. ur rite. well.. idk..

gmba brsama pitee. the whole femli pic tu cming. :)



n u knw!!!!!!! u knw who?!!!!!!!!!

i know. muka darwish xnmpk. tpi weird. mcm the snail wat muka cmtu n dar cm tu. i like..

comey an? comey an? well, tgk ah aunty dia cna.. hahahahahha...

dlm keta. otw. boring gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

messy hairghhh... gmba as usual.. suma hmper sama.. so thts the bju. i likeeee... :)

rya pica.. :)

with pak ngahs femly. well hes the only one m close now. since.. well.. dot3.. oh so well.. had fun. :) funny too.. azaly was sayin bout darwish. dia dah merosot. i mean corrupted gila. ahahhaha.yeah. hes the boy i love. darwish. dia baek. :)

so dad was like what hapen to him? what did he dok? refferring to the pic kami amek. ahahha.. then tah. sdny my dad bek gila ngn darwish. sllu xpena pun nk ckp. ni dok geletek dia la dok mlyn dia la. aku pun plik. pa da jadiii.. but comey. :)

spongebob n transdormers !!! hahaha

this is how rizal drives. at 140mph. yeah. syed is rite. dia serious gila. ahahahah

soo.. ppl.. ive wasted so much time. sejam lebey? oh wells.. study ok. pmr dkt sgt2.

here, na aku ni half malay half cinese, cinese xreti so kita ckp melayu k.

saya di sini, ( tis is oh so gona b tramt sgt poyo, so dont comment anytin.. ahahha ) noor aiman bt muhd rizal, ingin mngmbil ksmptn smpena hari raya aidilpitee ini untuk mengucpkan selamat hari raya kpd semua yg dikenali dn juga slmt bercuti. tidak lupa juga, saya tahu, saya ini mmg teramt sgt xsmpurna n perngai saya mmg teruk. saya ini ( pain in the ass?? wat) em translate la seniri ahahha byk menyusahkan korang, byk mnybbkn mslh, byk memekakkan tlinga korang, byk mnykitkan ati korang, byk mendera korang, byk wat kurang ajar, byk tidak bersopan dan tutur kata saya amat teruk, dan terlalu byk lagi. oleh itu, di sini, saya ingin memohon maaf dgn sepenuh ati yg ikhlas, maaf zahir dan batin. harap kamu semua akan memaafkan saya. :)

peluks dan ciumans. makan manyak2. nnti aft pmr kita exrcise n wat slimmin prog. muahhaha..

:D muax!

n btw. i d c !!!!!!!

slmt ari raya 2009

i thik this is gona b a longggggggggggg one... - no its not. -

tgther with pixies. but not all. its all the pics ihave for now. :)

xfntstic pun. but oh wellss bukn sllu bole amek gmba dgn org trsyg aite?

especially for me..

ok.. sooooooooooo.. lets talk bout tday.. bgn kol 8 kot. ahhaha.. then helpin my mum out non stop. stopped at nearly 12 and mandi. pitee suppose to come round tht time, but mai aft zohor. tlg la punya tlg. then kiryu cal.. suara dia. mg. like. wow. thts all i cn say. ahhaha. i was like ang bru bgn tido an? dia kata x, besa ah pg2 cnni. m like yea rite. u tido.

my dad ckp dont go out n lepak2.. if friends mai pun study. so esok if di mai study ja. so esok no ronda2. hnya cycle2 saja. dia kata aft pmr u can go ronda whereever u want.

so my dad jz hbq, esok act nk p ronda2 jalan2 suma. mula2 ok. then dia kata dua ari dah kan u z study.m like yea. - act more thn tht la- so he ckp xpa u study esok. wednsday mmg forget it. thursday yeah told him the study grup thingy. kna tnya kiryu again. sooooooooooo.. its

OH MY GOD !!!

parents are cool with frens coming n me goin studyin. lib or clubhse. cool.. slow n steady

told he bout the plan frens nk mai masak wat cookies suma. chun ja. good. :)

mum lak kata mai la. ajak tan mai. soh dok whole day pun xpa. tidoq pun xpa.

my mumlak terlebey frenly. hahahaha.. like seriously.

oh but yeah esok ptg or nite occupied suda. kiryus. seems like goin. if pitee p la. rizal ckp, u can stay till 10 also if u want. il fetch u. m like r u serious? aku malaih act nk p. mum pulak ah p la ajak ur fren tu soh mai umah nnti. so m like wowww.. okeyyyy.. so my prents xkisah i kwan ngn guys. i tink i know y. i tink i realy3 know y. hahahahah..

i cnt bliv u fucking damn pmr..........


oke2. cut!

lets see.. oh yeah.. tunggu. help. nganga. makan. help3!!! then ...

piteess maiiiiii... msok2 suma dok dkt living room, i blah sat. i was like aram babi gabai gila. the wholeee femly was thre. well hafiz came later. he was like heyyy.. sooooooooooooooo cuteeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!! ahahhaha.. then dok la ckp2, mkn2.. then hafiz was like ah amek gamba ah. so amek ah. then aft mkn. mkn biskut lak. then me, pitee, muadz n hdyh went out. as usual. utan2. kucing2. then msok. then ah yeah. bfre living. all of us sat on the couch i mean the gals la guys at the bec. amek gamba! agak chun a. il get the pic well god knows wen. then our mums tgther. then us. then dkt luar kak linda la suma. hahahaha.. kami agak kalot ah dok syok amek gamba. ahahahah.. highlites. :)

then em.. yeah.. so now la. m just relxin. nk tido xle. idk y its hard for me to sleep. pergh la.

smlm i was like almost an hour on bed kot. pergh la! so how did i fall asleep?

i did this. aerobics? hahahaha no la. em i did was baring flat on the bed. push my kaki till it reaches bhind me head. get it. so mcm triangle ka? mcm tu la. dulu wat sng gila. skang ugh agk susah. but still cn do it. agak syok. il do it evry nite. hahahaha.. crapppppp...

so yeah. study la. aih.. pergh!

ish!

ok. suda.

next post with pixies. :)

how was it?

issues

penat ah.. il blog lter.. i mean dtails n such lter..

highlites

duet raya boley thn, simpan lm bank lo. ive wasted almost 150 bux or more of my own money for topups. so beta aku kering drpd bzir duet da

aku knyg. susa nk brnfs. ate too much. em went to makchaks, kak esah, pakngah, kak hannah

pixies n infos n yadies will be later. esok mlm ka lusa kot.

esok lunch maliks r gona come n so are others i gz.

kiryus? no idea. seems like no

pmr. oh i hate you

nk tido..

i love d bju raya.. hahah

wednsday nk p pg! yes! thank god!

i so cant wait for all this to end. i wana go to au. i want pmr to finis. i wana go out.

oh so badly.

i need to get out.

n yeah.

u knw..

i

d

c

slmt ari ry evryone. maaf zhir n btin.

- il go into dtails sooo lter... nites..

- yawns, stretch, my bedroom.. -

n2.. yeah.. esok kna bgn awal.. i have to soooooooooooooo help out.. another tiring day..

owh.. ugh!

adoi.. dey.. helpp...

alll...

refuses to believe in the lies and that nothing can be promised because no matter what it will change one day, and the only promise capable of being kept is the fact that your going to die one day

y can someone who i dont even know, well we dont, idk but can actually just spill out the words thats in my mind ... ?

this is not the saket perut that i go thru wen i xmkn..

sket perut xmkn, i can bare it. n i go thru it almost every other day..

oh god..

pain..

irritating..

urghh..

fast forward to any time u like

im made of rubber, since i expand like a blowfish is it?

pergh. its 206pm. havent eaten anytin solid except for raya cookies n crappies..

tummys killin me!

yea. aku syok. dpt mkn xhenti2 da n raya awai! weeeee...

sooo.. nti ttn.. pitee xp... blek kg da.. bye2 pitee..

yea.. kiryu igtkan g soh p umah dia. n i pun p la tnya my prents again. i act forgot tht i dh tnya dah b4 tis. yea depa bg. thank god. n dads like uve alredy ask about this, y ur so excited/ mums like whose hse? dads anis laa.. the father mad hell driver. aha yea anis. sjak bila la aku member ngn sorang yg brnama anis in the first plce?

dia selalu ajak p sana sini. ckp wey abg aku dh blek, jom lepak. or wey jom p gym. or wey p club. or wey jom men bola. or wey esok jom ikut aku p tgk hp. or wey esok nk p salun, jom ikut. or wey jom p vmal. jom p cs tgk wyg..

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... mcm la aku bole p?!!!!!!?

perfgh.. lek2.. aft pmr.. 18days more.. i need study.. but look la.. wt apen yest.. mayn

n yeah.. the trip to detouch was ugh! like fuckingly ugh! firtsyl, ok wanted to straiten, so i soh la bee ling, the stylist ask my mum tgk she ckp no jz cut n treatment. xpala ok a an. then she pun nk wat her hair gak tpi since upstairs fully occupied so xjdi tinggl i je la yg nk wat. ok a so i jz tnya again bfre she nk blah cn i do it? u knwwwwwwwww.. aku tnya elok2 pulak tu. she jerit cm not jerit ah tpi so garang tau ak. mcm nk mkn aku. bee ling pun tkot n tekejut. wey satu detouch bole dgr kot. dok no2!!! cut n treatment only!!!

aram babi gila. ang wat moody pa? aku yg septtutnya moody an bkn ang. ni? gila ka kamu? memalukan btul. ugh. so thank god she blah. then dont ask me la aku dok maki pa n how was my fce like. bee ling pun mcm xpa2. its ok. maybe ada apa2 ka. aku mcm pungkoq ang la! ugh!!!!!!!

so i did the i forgot the name d. well mainly to less kmbgkan my hair n frizz.. its suppose to be 150. but u can upgrade to 22o since it will kinda be like triple protction. so i thot abou tit for a mo, yeaah wth la kan. i did the 220. sapa soh xbgi straiten. or at least la yg p jerit kat aku wat pa. soo al tgther 24o. + wash,cut,iron. the end of sth yg sgt mnykitkan ati. ugh!

so her reason was to bee ling i gz coz xdk masa. aku mcm pungkoq ang xdk masa pa. xley ckp elok2 ka? pastuh ang yg nk sgt bwk aku p. ap akes?! pergh kamu!

lantak ah. sket ati. biarkan sja.

but i so love my hair smell. hahhaha.. n its sooooo soft.. n its kinda strait for a mo.. i mean yest. n now its wavy. n tonite its gona be magy again. oh maynnn..

yeah i have to say this.. i oh so miss strait hair.. i hate magy hair!

soyeah.. il straiten it again. cuti skola kot. tymmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmg dia freeeeeeeeee gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa2!

it tkes perhaps like 5 hrs ++ if not mistaken.. oh well..

then bole tnya p straiten ka? m like maaaaaaaaaaaaaa, my hair is curly maaaaaaaaaaaa. to cut it, i need to iron it bru nmpk...

then mlm tnya, i thot the treatment was 100+. i said depends on the treatment m doin. n + my hair kan curly, so susah. so mhl la.

aku xkisah. lantak ah. spa soh wat cm tu.

pergh..

so arini.. nga2. tlg2. nga2. men kucing. nga2. lipat bju. nganga g. xhnti mkn mepek. hahaha

idk.. but i jz cnt thn stayin at home with my prents. like seriously. aku bole jdi gila cpt. like sooooooooo cpt. so kalo bole aku nk dok lm bilik or p la umah spa2. idont wana stay at home. ni bru 1st day. xtau la esok ka lusa ka comin days ka. pengsan pa....

then mums like aiman seronok ka raya? m like.. i knw.. m not suppose to say this. but at least she knws. n she knws if i mcm show no intrest ka. wic im not really havin any intrst at all in tis. i was like x, besa ja. idk. n idc. its like ari biasa ja. shes like xbek ckp cm tu. n pun kita xbyk adek badek. so i told her, yeala.. so idk n idc la. its jz nrml day for me. so i went away.

i was tinkin of the family raya pic. oh so boring...

okkkkkkkkkkkayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.. i knwwwwwwwwwwww.. at least i cn still beraya with my parents. my prents r still with me.. :) n yeah + m still alive n breathin. :)

so yeah. bathe. ttn. bet majority xmaipunya. aih.. headbang sja lo.

so raya ppl. raya! keep ur chins up n have a blast.

- smacks on my forehead -

i feel like vomiting oh so badly . .

tabiat buruk

sooooooooooooooo.. i tried doin sej.. crap la man.. ugh.. then geoo.. worsee.. well x.. sej was worsee.. but i nrmly dont crap on sej but more geo. but u knw. the ting is..

i cnt concentrate at allllllllllllllllllllllll.. i have to try so fuckin hard just for one stupid simple question.. n that.. il get it wrong..

great..

smart..

brilliant..

so i baling my stuf.. n i said.. ok i have to stop bfre i break sth. so here i m.. blogging.. checkin here n there.. headbang non stop.. n neopetin very soon..

n my mum slike tis tat clean this n that. do tis do tht.. bla3..

shut up! please...

m sorry.. i cnt hear al those rite now. just tell me wat i have to do around the hse n il do..

just stop tlkin to me..

i beg u...

give me work n leave me alone..

pmrs like 19days more. great. double great.

n aku suka wat prngai balek daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

fuck man..
f
focus..

school, i miss you ...

l i k e a s t o n e

sooooooooooooooo..

pmr abes 21st. 25th m of to au. its on a sund. so tht whole week iwont b comin. b comin beck on em ok flite sund nite. smpai brisbane monday mrnayn. next day gold coast. stay thre til friday. then beck to brisbane. fly back here. reach here on saturday.

or wait... where am i landing again ?

ahahahhaha.. yeah.. i clearly dk wat wen why wt the fuck how ?

so nvmm..

:)

so il b headbangin n tgk muvi n men game dlm aircraft.. weeee..

so if evrtn goes well.. il b at school on sund.

so whilst suma org syok pmr abes, well aku pun, il b bz packin n all sort. ugh. bnci..

so thts gud news.. bad news is..


dell inspiron wont b comin along. wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dads like if so desperate nvm nnti can use la.. but yeala.. itl b like idk how many times the rate la kan. ugh. shitttt laaaaa...

haiyooooooooooooo.. xle trma knyataan..

n gha wants a baby kangaroo for her bday present. ahahahha..

so itu saja.. tah pulak. dk y i felt like xnk p..

but yea..

i wana go so far away from here..

\m/

notepad

ezzati.. few mnths xckp ngn dia.. shes like aimannnnnnnnnn i mis uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i passed ur hse tdi.. n i was like.. aiman~~ then shes like i miss ur small voice which suddenly comes up.. i said yeah n d very annoyin n loud.. n shes like datz da greatest prt! ... mg !

n yeah goes on n on bout missing.. raya mai x? we so wana see u... mann.. i wana cry...

gawddddddddddddddddddddd ! ugh! i hate tis!

the ting is..

wen was the last time weve act met???

yeah last yer.. lestt than 3o mins. i went to sggs with ma mum. met up with em.. actually i joined their class jap. since the ustaz knws me. use to be under him. em name em i forgot. al i knw depa sllu kata ustaz tu suka kt ang. kejip mata kt ang. ahahahahahaha.. wteva. la nama dia. bengong lupa. so yeah. i act joined em. sat with em in the class jap. then lepak sat. then blek. sobz!

this is frustrating . . so frustratin..

so her status is aiman ! i miz ya ! i have no frenz here !

na she ada.. saja ja..

then great times we had.. gettin high together. cmin to my plce. clbrate my bday. watched tv. yeah hung out by the pool. sat there. crap2. walked around the compund. oh my. i miss it. soo mcuhhhh..

yeah.. ezzati.. diff primary.. just ended up in the same class.. wer it all started.. 1 intan. :) ...

n yeah.. class x.. but she sits bsyd oh yeah. tis gal. i love her name bbut i forgot. farzana? some fa apa tah. lupaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. sat smewer near da. i sat with asywani or was it ashwiny. yeah shes fine.

so yeah got closer with her coz she chose music too. first lesson. we sat together. borrowd my stuff suma n chatted. yeah. got along vry wel.. yeah we ok ah. :) but yeah she only went for few lessons ni coz no transport. sobz. but she knws drums man. niceeyyy.. so aft tht.. i cnt rmb who i sat with.. ahahahha.. as usual. i just choose to forget bout all those. it hurts oh so badly. cut it out.

th efact tht we r so close n got along very well, well was a miracle. hahah

then she said. the first time we met aft music, on the way bec, i told her m moving act. then she said "finally i found a best fren n now ur tellin me ur movin?"

aih...

aidaa... ni dr stndrd one.. same class.. klass pintar.. hahaha.. em.. not close.. yeah since dr s1 i ony have non malay frens. best friends. jessy wong, kellie tan huey shern, rashnith kaur grewal, kresha pashkaren... well rash n kre wen i was 10 or 11. kellie n jessy the whole time. two of em. kami mcm adek badek. dulu ah. height suma sama. me n jessy mmg adek badek tramt sgt. p mana siblings. ahahha.. but u knw. now shes way talllerrr.. f la. tension gila tgk.

me n da.. tah.. we just know so much..

weyy... rindu ah..

ok.. so kiryu.. ahahhaha.. i like my pic ngn dia time dua2 muka pelik..

wth is kiryu la man? all i knw.. i gz its frm a game.. itu ja i tau. kottt..

wey.. study ah wey..

yeah.... lama gila da nganga kat cni.. i have to stop..

i act plan to neopeting. buttttttttttt.. cant d lo..

sobz..

so esok.. bgn 10+ kot. ka tah. maybe tesco ada. very sure mandikan kucing. ugh. then em yeah if ada time p detouch. maynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...

so yeah.. nwadays. suka wat prangai.. xsuka.. hpefully raya i xwat prngai..

tido pun aagk susah.. no mter how tired or sleepy i m.. i find it kinda hard to fall asleep. ugh

ugh..

call me farah aiman.. the name..

farah aiman

fac - farah aiman comey / farah amat comey

juliana aiman

aiman alamgeer

thats all i can rmb for now

hahaha..

farah aiman is ' z ' name ...

unwell

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like Im headed for a breakdown
And I dont know why

But Im not crazy, Im just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then youll see
A different side of me
Im not crazy, Im just a little impaired
I know right now you dont care
But soon enough youre gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

Im talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know theyve all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow Ive lost my mind

But Im not crazy, Im just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then youll see
A different side of me
Im not crazy, Im just a little impaired
I know right now you dont care
But soon enough youre gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Ive been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon theyll come to get me
Yeah, theyre taking me away

But Im not crazy, Im just a little unwell
I know right now you cant tell
But stay awhile and maybe then youll see
A different side of me
Im not crazy, Im just a little impaired
I know right now you dont care
But soon enough youre gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, Im just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
Im just a little unwell

how i wish i was the girl in form two a three with braces on

back then . . .

fuck u la man

ko tunggu ah aft pmr.. ka till boilin point aku pecah..

ko tunggu ah..

- instant angel -

no wait breathe still calm down this is not what this is about

idk y.. but nowadays.. i tend to hate things. yeah.. very bad. worse. at least dulu il just dislike or just ignore wat bodo put it asyd. now its hate. o m g...

aft pmr.. im gona bash.. (:

n yeah.. lama gila xbwk phne to school. rindu..

erm.. so yeah.. today as usual was loud n all.. screamin amalinaaaaaa.. amek2 gmba sikit.. winks2.. ahahahha.. first eva pic tken by myself with toot toot..

act.. im bord.. yeah.. tym to go back to my room. n do some work..

ugh..

nk men game.. but thts call suicide.. grr..

but u knw wat.. move along !

raaaarrrr !!!

i g n o r e ! ! !

pray for plagues

urghhhhhh . . . .

unholy confessions

"I'll try," she said as he walked away.
"Tried not to lose you."
Two vibrant hearts could change.

Nothing tears the being more than deception,
Unmasked fear.
"I'll be here waiting" tested and secure.

Nothing hurts my world,
Just affects the ones around me
When sins deep in my blood,
You'll be the one to fall.

I wish I could be the one,
The one who won't care at all
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns it's back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confided in me was your heart
I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me.

(Guitar Solo)

Nothing will last in this life,
Our time is spent constructing,
Now you're perfecting a world... meant to sin.
Constrict your hands around me,
Squeeze 'til I cannot breathe,
This air tastes dead inside me,
Contribute to our plague.
Break all your promises,
Tear down this steadfast wall,
Restraints are useless here,
Tasting salvation's near.

Nothing hurts my world,
Just affects the ones around me
When sins deep in my blood,
You'll be the one to fall.

I wish I could be the one,
The one who won't care at all
But being the one on the stand,
I know the way to go, no one's guiding me.
When time soaked with blood turns it's back,
I know it's hard to fall.
Confided in me was your heart,
I know it's hurtin' you, but it's killing me.

the all star sessions

Just when you thought it was over
The sky turned black and we all fell to Earth
Dead in our tracks, we were frozen in fact
Choking to breathe, then came the seas
Wash away impurities, wash away all that couldn’t be

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe that our end is so near

Standing at the end of our world
Breathing in the chaos behold
None will be found, it’s all toppling down
Cities will seethe, none could believe
Wash away impurities, wash away all that couldn’t be

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe that our end is so near

Save me
Save me from what will engulf this world
Save us
Save us from the end, save us from ourselves
Save me
Save me from what will engulf this world

Just when you thought it was over
The sky turned black and we all fell to Earth

Everyone will be washed away
Drowning in the hell that we made
I cannot believe that our end is so near

pray for plekhs..

She starts her new diet, of liquor and dick.
Just like hollywood, but laced in sick.
The sun goes down, and so does she.
The sun goes down, and so does she.

Sold out the love she had left with a cut of the throat.
They surround on her, before she strolls to the moat.
The sun goes down, and so does she.
The sun goes down, and so does she.

Count your fucking blessings!
Come on!

Count your blessings, cause I'm counting every lie.
Count your blessings, cause I'm counting every lie,
Counting every lie.

Christ, I'm asking you for just one thing.
I'm asking you for just one thing.

Eradicate, this disease.

Close your eyes,
Pray for plagues,
Oh Lord cleanse this earth,
And bring upon our doomsday.

Close your eyes,
Pray for plagues,
Clense this earth,
Bring our doomsday.

She starts her new diet, of liquor and dick.
Just like hollywood, but laced in sick.
The sun goes down, and so does she.
The sun goes down, and so does she.

So clap your hands to the sound
Of every first born dying now.
Watch the rivers flow with blood,
Death will stand where life once stood.

So clap your hands to the sound
Of every first born dying now.
Watch the rivers turn to blood,
Death will stand where life once stood.

So clap your hands to the sound
Of every first born dying now.
Watch the rivers turn to blood,
Death will stand where life once stood.

Close your eyes,
Pray for plagues,
Clense this earth, bring our doomsday.

when ur heart stops beating

Please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I cant stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean
It rises all around me
And now we're barely breathing
A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore

Curse my enemies forever
Lets slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that leads us past the lives that we destroyed

I listen to you cry
A cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I'm pushed into the deep end
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with blood
From trying not to speak
So search for an excuse
And someone to believe you
In foreign dressing rooms
I'm empty with the need to

Curse my enemies forever
Lets slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation is leaving me overjoyed
With fading lights that leads us past the lives that we destroyed

Lay rotting where I fall
I'm dead from bad intentions
Suffocated and embalmed
And now all our dreams are cashed in
You swore you wouldnt lose then lost you brain
You make a sound that feels like pain

So please understand
This isnt just goodbye
This is I can't stand you

So please understand

oh wat the fuck >?!

soooooo.. its 923.. rest jap.. dok wat bm n bla2.. english.. tah.. xdk ilham g. ahhaha..

sooooooooooooo.. lets talk bout today. ok xigt sgt. ahahha..em bgn pgi as usual. all nrml. skola pun nrml. i cnt rmb. oh yeah. perhimpunan. cm bodo gila. then em yea blek klas. u knw.. i act xpna ikut ikrar ibrahim.. errrr... mmmm..

so... first sub.. mt.. it was ok.. aku xigt pa.. seriously.. oh yeah b4 tht aku dok mnjerit. mhkmh rayuan was it? till pitee was like ok mahkamah brehat sbntr. yeah i need oxygen. ahahahah.. muka merah kot. ok then em kh. maimun xdk. studied sn bit. chat3. gila2 sikit. then ag. ok ja. its act easy. the hadith n all. its like mini malay u knw. i mean.. sng ah.. ahahah..

then sej.. ha.. wat apen norliah xmsok.. i was doin geo or sth. .al of a suddent, syed ltak this weird blacky tingy on my paper. n i was like * shriekssssss !! * muka len sat.. then was like wow.. ohh.. ow.. arrrhh!!! noo!! dont! geli,.. n lots more. ahahhaha.. name - syafiee'.. haahaha.. ilham drpd sharpie. was also the model for sharpie marker n future kumbang pen. ahahahhaha.. men2 la suma an. then middle of it, i thot, pmr is 24 days more or so, instead of me studyin doin my work yg i missed n i so suppose to do, guess wat m doing ? im act playin with syafiee'. oh my. can u just live with it?

so suppose to do english again. tpi ilham xmai. dok tergelak2 syok3 ngn syafiee' n everyone else. yeah i was loudddd.. screams!!!! like hell!!!! ahahhaha.. sukaaa..

n the habit of walking around without shoes but sox only is so in it.. ugh..

sn was ok. did the paper. i prefer not to lisen to norida. like seriously. she just ugh my brain. i rather not lisen n wat kja len. n study on my own or with lim.

oh yeah. study groups are cmg. so the clubhse n lib. so aft raya an. bwk mknn n kueh raya. weeeeeeeeeee :D

yeah.. tx malina !!!!! chocos!!! drugs.. :D thank u3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dodol!!! weeeeeee

so tdi, i was like, well past few weeks, two weeks kot, il just get hungry by 11+. great huh.. then il b like lapaq3!!!!! then kuar ah lksa, mcd, piza. suma la weyyyyyyyy.. aiyoo.. so tdi. tym buka, dok mknla, i was like bila nk p johorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. nk mknnnnnnnnnnnnnn.. my mum turned to me, look at me frm top to bottom then stopped on my thighs. m like wat r u lookin at? aahahhahaha

marilyn manson - user friendly..

then oh yeah.. went to puan chi. i like her. shes cute. her bm is omg. haahhaha.. her chinese super chun ah. so on my hand, was the jadual waktu penilaian mngh rndah. getaq sat ah. then dpt2. yeah m hepy with it.. its nicee.. mcm ok ja.. sng.. like relaxin..

then bi was.. tahh.. ok ja.. careless.. huhu.. bm was hottt.. ahahahha.. din pay att pun. dok kt cnteen. dhla dpa msak pa tah sdp. aram bbabeee gilaaa..

so blek ngn pitee.. dok bkjaran. otw, met rineshs sis. shes like so sad. nk nges ada oh.. gado ngn her friend. bnda kcik gila. hpfully shes fine. so2 p dkt myvi pgq 9842, nmpk sapa?! !!! hahahaha.. pitee was like omg. i was like awat hang xhbq.. so.. msok2 ja. hafizz.. haahha.. dgn shades dia.. dgn rmbut dia yg spikey tpi xsestai ada skali tu tpi rmbut dia da tumbuh n xperlu pkai cap da.. then muka diaaa.. dia kaleh2 an i was like u knw mcm ahh, ( tilt my head to my rite. . ) hahahha.. mcm melts ah.. comey.. iwas like dt. ahahahha

hafiz la kannnnnnnnn....


haiyoo.. so next tym.. i dont tink i waana buat bek again n volenteer wat keja.. i mean.. ughh.. yeah so there comes again.. move on u fcking arse !!! stop dreamin !!! move on!!!!

oke2.. so its kinda like either il b violent, bebai, scream n yell at evryone, break anytin i see and get slapped by rizal, or make the most pathetic face i can ever have n just have the lowest voice on earth. i choose. patheticness..

ok.. wat the fuck.. leave tht bhind.. n dont ask me wassup.. xdk pa pun.. aku ja wat dramatik lebey.. seriously.. so nvm bout tht.. lifes like that. what the fuck..


soooooooooo.. yeah..so hafiz la an.. em.. went to god knws wer, i knw near msn.. eheh.. em so hafiz went out jap, me n pitee chit chatted dgr2 lagu.. usual stuff.. then p vmal!!!.. xwat pa2 pun..

hafiz dh ada gf.. chun gak ah the gal.. wllpper dia kot.. chun ahh..

sooo.. p vmal.. nga2. then me n pitee lalu eumas. the plce wer we pna brgmbar. tym tu nk blek dah. then both of us was like wey2 jom amek gmba. dulu amek da. then cm dok kejar la hafiz nk pnjm phne. so hafiz waited in the car wile we brgmbar. ahaha.. dua gmba ja pown. xsmpt. n sgn. dhla ngn bju skola. ugh. pergh. xpa. dc la. sooo.. i like d 2nd pic vry much.. haix.. bila la bole dpt.. ugh.. so.. msok2 keta, hafiz wat muka xchun.. ahahha.. dia dpt ja phne dia, dia p usha gmba.. then dok tergelak2 senyum2.. comeyy..

everyday my parents will ask me.. aiman, ur going to school tmrw?

pergh.. ahahha..

n no wnder pmkiran aku ni xsuci.. parents aku nya mind pun x.. ahahahha.. cna la aku ni nk brfkrn suci. ahahahha

soooo.. oh yeah.. u knw.. static electricity some sort.. i have it.. mcm tdi dok men ngn phne, then trkna tgn pitee.. like static.. its not called static. i lupa da pa.. but i knw.. cm tgn cn kuar sparks.. yeah.. its static.. sooo byk kali gak ah jdi.. then sja brush my hand on his, jdi blek.. then he was like weyyy.. pasepa ngn ang wey.. aku tkot wey.. xmo weyy.. skettt.. jgn wey.. aku mcm.. static ja pun..mmg ah sket sikit.. bknnya electric shock mamat oi.. so mcm tu la.. agak chunn.. aku suka.. lama da xjdi. ahahha..yea iknw m weird.. i dont get it.. al thiss.

- say.. all i needd..

then em.. yeah itu sja.. so thank god i xyah pnjt pagar. p umah tirah.. hafiz was like cnani.. cm xdk org ja umah, xpa ah mai dok umah. i was like errrr,, naa.. xpa ahh.. saya pnjat pagar.. saya dah pna buat da.. so p tekan door bell, tunggu jap, cm xdk org, sudeny trbuka.. fuh.. thank god. i was so not in a mud to pnjt pgr. then said goodbyes suma.. i msok la. tunggu la org nk buka pintu n ckp suma an. i dok sana like few mins, nobody came out. i was like wtf la kan. weird..

then em.. yeah blek.. nganga. lena.. then same routine.. then keja..

so il b posting liriks.. waste my time again 4 a wile till latest 1130.

get back to work. hpfully il get the mood back.. n sleep round b4 1.

n sahur maybe few mins of study n tido again..

u knww.. i jz cnt wait 4 school to end. ahahah.. i just wana get out.. soooooo wana go outtt...

then em.. oh yeah.. so dpt d jadual suma.. sejuk ati ah since the timetble cm chun.. then em.. yeah i cant wait for pmr to finish. then i cn just do wteva i want..

well yeah cut my whole 2 to 3 hours of nap time during the afternoon. idk la wat m gona do but m gona do sth.. n i akn kluar almost every ptg i tink.. n kuar cm 5+ ah.. ptg2 aku rasa aku xmelekat kat umah. tpi tgk ah. if my prents dont mind.

n so this raya. the ony thing m lookin forward for is just no posa, food all around. ahahahha.. serious.. fooooooooodddddd ! n yeah i like the bju raya.. so thts all..

kalo bole.. idk la y.. raya aku xmau p mana.. even the first day... ahhahaah.. crap la kan.. just nk dok umah ja.. wel first day mmg la kuar aft tht idk.. so its act in my hands wther i wan a syok raya or not a syok raya. n depends on wat my prents r gona say. if theyre cool with it, ok ah.. if at all i want la. i tink nak kot. to take a break.. soo.. th eony ting is.. melepak2 ah.. itu saja..

hmmmmmm...

ohh yeah.. how bout ang paus??? i got one d.. n app.. my parents yang dok excited n dokminx me buka for dk hw many humpteenth times. pdhl.. aku xtrigt pown.. wtf la kan.. tho yeah i m kinda desperate 4 mney. someone utang me 10bucks. i utang malina 1o bucks.. n i still need to topup.. so my cred tinggl 1 hengget ka less than tht.. so if i x rep, phm2 ja la. il only topup on wed. tu pun dpnds ah. so idc xxdk kredit pun xpla.. i really dont wana caree...

evntho yeah.. wen i study.. i need to msg.. or at least tkan2 some electronic gadgets. ahahah.. cm music stimulates my brain.. tkan2 sth makes me move on.. so yeah plg chun msg sorang la. tpi two pun xpa. but cnt work if 3 n plus2.. mmg jdi klg kbut nk rep. then il b like wtf did i say to u jz now. huhu

dhla.. m bored.. of for lyrics, songs..

n yeah.. school esok..

lifes wonderfull

- in ur dreams !