The more you depend, the more you get hurt. Rumour has it.

To have only three hours of crappy sleep n have three classes and it only finishes till 6, I must say I think I did perty good today. And I drove to school. Minus me eating keropok that majority says that thing will kill me and say, everytime I see you, you always eat. And to say calm your tities, and try not to laugh at anything that you see. And trying to love pure maths, act it aint that bad lahh. Now simple lagi. And to also say that my phone lock screen picca is the picca of two chipmunks which are wanted alive.And for gods sake shit you ! ok, shit.you. ok ? you see that HELP hotline or whatever, yes and then you see me picking up the phone and dialing that number. if u aint mucho of a help. and what elseeeee mateeee. and to feel like I am having some sort of bipolar disease. I wonder how or you know, how they feel just to go thru one day of their life of one minute being ok, and the other not or people suffering from deep depression. sad aint it. i still dont know what I want to be, sigh. and then please, just, I dont have an S on my chest. well I am just telling you. coz I do try to manage on my own. is that so harddd ? and I didnt choose this, choose all these. then just why ! i am sick of it. and I hate it. And great I dont have school til thurs. me hatey it. Sudah la sudah. I think I need a swim. n icecream. and things to make me fall asleep. out.

I hate feeling like crap.

Nuff said.

How is that for a start?

How often can you hear me say I am as worried as shit. Kan? Doii. Shit i tell u. Shit.

Correction.

Its fuck you. Hadoih ! Idky this is just all so too much for me to take or to feel or to think. Or to absorb or to even want this. I mean i dont und, like wth ? I mean like whatttt?? Kan? This is much harder than a levels. I hate this shit. I hate this. I hate this more than my chemistry teacher. Yea, you heard me right. Aiyooyoooo. There is always tomorrow. So do better tomorrow. Whatttt???

Apa dosa ku -the movie

Best movie like one of em everrr. Gave me goosebumps. Tahla. Worth to watch.

Dah tau, dah sebut.

Habes tu kenapa bangang sangat? Tak fikir ka?

I am very well aware that not all infos are in books.

But I never thought of how one can be so dumb.

Oh, he treats me with respect,
He says he loves me all the time,
He calls me 15 times a day,
He likes to make sure that im fine,
You know I've never met a man,
Whose made me feel quite so secure,
He's not like all them other boys,
They're all so dumb and immature.

There's just one thing,
That's getting in the way,
When we go up to bed your just no good,
its such a shame!
I look into your eyes,
I want to get to know you,
And then you make this noise,
and its apparently its all over

Its not fair,
And i think your really mean,
I think your really mean,
I think your really mean.

Oh your supposed to care,
But you never make me scream,
You never make me scream,

Oh it's not fair,
And it's really not ok,
It's really not ok,
It's really not ok,

Oh your supposed to care,
But all you do is take,
Yeah, all you do is take.

I lay here in this wet patch
in the middle of the bed,
im feeling pretty damn hard done by
i spent ages giving head.

Then i remember all the nice things
that you've ever said to me,
maybe im just over reacting
maybe your the one for me.

There's just one thing,
That's getting in the way,
When we go up to bed your just no good,
its such a shame!
I look into your eyes,
I want to get to know you,
And then you make this noise,
and its apparently its all over

Its not fair,
And i think your really mean,
I think your really mean,
I think your really mean.

Oh your supposed to care,
But you never make me scream,
You never make me scream,

Oh it's not fair,
And it's really not ok,
It's really not ok,
It's really not ok,

Oh your supposed to care,
But all you do is take,
Yeah, all you do is take.

You should know better. Way better. Especially when you have the tendency to feel like that much more than i do.

Tah. For me, it is already cukup menyedihkan n a bit frustrating to hear such thing. Macam, tak perlu lah kan. Whats i mean, u do no mehhh? This simple goddamn bloody thing oso u do no meh? Still need to be told is it? Doi.

Haeh. Why bother so hard.

Why try so hard. Why sacrifice so hard. Why want and need so hard. Why feel so hard. Why say so hard.

Im not saying im the only one,i know i am not, bare that in my mind, but, limits need to be set. Lines need to be made n to be followed. What is the point.

One day. You will have to eat your heart back.

Every little bit of it. Eat your own heart.

Do not be so uptight.

Do not yell at people.

What the toot is waiting?

Ergh.

Mm. I wish you were here.

What aint enough.

Thank you. Note to everyone.

*le random train passes by with a lo0ong banner saying "The closer you are to Allah, the more Allah LOVES you, giving you more and more life challenges. Allah wants you to overcome His next challenges so you'l become stronger than ever"*

conclusion,
Allah is loving you even more lah tuu.

Susah sangat being a normal human being.

Yes it is. To ask for simple things. To want simple things. To yearn for simple things. To wish for simple things. Anything simple, is hard now.

Fish happy things at this moment. I never knew being happy is this hard. What the fish do you think i am. Gawdd.

Are there any changes that I need to know!!!!

Cause I am tired of all of these. One day up, no not one day, one minute ok, the next minute shit. What the shit la. Yeah i cant control things. I cant change things. And i am very godd damn not flexible. Great.

Why dont you just blame every single damn thing that happens on me? Why dont you shove everything right at my face?

While you were busy, well you were not busy, but while u were at things, how was I ? I might not be the greatest or the brightest but i tried. I, even not related but somehow I am, was put into a position also. What do u expect me to do? Just to be not understanding and shove you to sth new ?all sorts? If you wanted something, you wud just go do it. But you did not. What more do u expect me to do?

Kata baziaq masa. Kena concentrate bagai.

La bole dok kata, oh, ang ada masa g, bole lepak, nak bawak aku p ujung dunia bagai. Wtf is that la. wasting time. Sangat sensitive dengaq lagutu.

You know whatttt.

Your life, issss, your life lah. You want to fail, you want to flunk, you want to suck, you want to screw yourself. Suit yourself and be my guest. I think we are all big enough to know what to do and what not to do. Kadang2 orang pun reti penat berbuih2 mulut habaq atau saket ati sangat dah nak marah2. Note to oneself. Take note.

Total random. Dont buy me.

Susah untuk mencari lelaki yang berkualiti zaman sekarang.

Define kat depan sana to me, will you? Kat depan ka kat tempat len?

Dont tell me lies I swear you are gonna loose me.

Ok u called me five times, i have been texting you since then, wtf, reply my messages lah.

Waste my time you say? You, yourself do waste my time.

Cut me off some slack. Apa lagi yang korang nak. Aduhai.

A-levels. Membazir masa masok kelas physics and chemistry. And cikgu mechanics kuat pms. He is gay btw.

I dont understand all of these.

I pray for all the good things in life. And hope all goes well. If it does not, give me the courage, strength and patience to go thru it. Amin.

Yes, no doubt, I miss you. And it saddens me. I know I should make a move but idk. You never bother to ask about me too.

When I pretend everything is what I want it to be
I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see
When I pretend, I can’t forget about the criminal I am
Stealing second after second just cause I know I can but
I can’t pretend this is the way it’ll stay I’m just
(trying to bend the truth)
I can’t pretend I’m who you want me to be, so I’m

(Lying my way from you)
No no turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life,I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you is me)

I remember what they taught to me
Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be
Remember listening to all of that and this again
So I pretended up a person who was fittin’ in
And now you think this person really is me and I’m
(Trying to bend the truth)
But the more I push the more I'm pulling away 'cause I'm

(Lying my way from you)
No no turning back now
(I wanna be pushed aside so let me go)
No no turning back now
(Let me take back my life I’d rather be all alone)
No turning back now
(Anywhere on my own cause I can see)
No no turning back now
(The very worst part of you)
(The very worst part of you is ME)

You talk to much. You ask to much.

Maybe I have my reasons why I dislike or hate that thing. Well, many things. And I am not the only person who feels that way, ask others. And thats the way I perceive and see things, you cant blame my perceptions. I try very hard not to blame yours since day one.

Maybe I have reasons to why I dont like that change of plans. If you are gonna be an ass like you always are by just sticking thru like that, you might want to think about sth else.

True enough. Kita tunggu dan lihat. I might have said well, things about you to you, well, dont let me change my mind. I think I might have regretted saying such things to you a few days ago. I shudnt have. I shud have kept it to myself.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

Yes, i really cannot handle adjustments. Yes, i am very not flexible and i dont like adjusting to newthings or deal with different things padahal i planned sth else. Y u no take another car.

Kenapa.

Susah ka nak jadi just plain hapy. Satu hari suntuk pun jadi la. hmph. I dont understand suma ni.

Rolls over. Sigh.

How am I suppose to react to that. Maynnnnnn~

Everything I cherish is slowly dieing or is gone.

Roped. Wrapped.

Why must everything, well almost, be linked to me. Why must everything be like i am the last resort and i have to pretend as if there is an S sign over my boobies. Why seek help and hope from me like i am almost the world or sth. Why must in the end i feel that i am the cause of it and i am the one to be blamed for. Why must it all come back to me and fall on me. I didnt even do anything!

Are you way too smart or are you that stupid?

Doi. You must be crazy or sth.

Da malas.

I think I have come to a point where I just cannot tolerate that much anymore.

You are not making it better. Thanks for making it bad to worse.

And i am not here to make things better. And no I am not going to regret.

We are no longer kids and so we have to grow up now.

I think I have the rights to say things like, Oh I like that, oh I dont like that, damn I hate that thing, oh gawddd, that is so not my thangg. Hey, I am human ok, ada hati, ada perasaan. So maybe thats the problem, I keep saying things like, oh xpala, nak wat mcm mna, or yeah, what to do kan, things are like that, kena terima ja, or its ok u know even clearly its not. Or clearly even I deserve wayyy betterr than that .and when I start voicing out, start showing my emotions, macam tu lah jadi dia. culture shock la kan sudeny aiman ada emotions and dia tunjuk depan2. Maaybe thats the thing, I have to stop altering things, adjusting things, stop all those till I forget to care about myself. TIll I forget to feed myself with thing I should be living and enjoying with. Till I forget whats my stand, I forget what I believe and fight for. I need to have my own stand and say things out loud. I dont like the feeling of almost like, being pushed around, being squashed, not being valued or appreciated, as if I am like a puppet with strings attached all over my body parts. I am not and I would like to be treated well, as it is. As I do. So all those has to stop, it has to come to an end. soon. We all, each and everyone of us has our very own level of patience and accepting others. Mine is done. I dont want to try anymore.

Pantang pantang.

1. Aku cukup pantang orang2 macam tu. dari kecik smpai ke besar sampai ke tua, mmg aku xsuka, and some mmg aku xrespect diorg, bkn nk kata sbb aku bgoih sgt ka apa tp aku rasa itu bukanlah cara utk go thru zaman remaja kamu. Ada cara lebeyh bgoih, ilmutetap mau kena ada, bukan membabi buta pkiaq fun saja. Have fun, stay clean, with style. Xperlu wat mcm xdk keja langsung or xdk rumah n totally utter waste of time. That is how i see it.

2. Aku pantang bila kita ada masalah, orang tu xtlg. Padahal bila dia ada masalah, kitalah yg dia cari n kita lah yang sggup meluangkan masa utk mendengar n menolong.

3. Pantang bila text tak reply.

4. Pantang bila wat salah tapi tak sedar diri, at least faham and sedar kesalahan, xperlu nak watpa2 or ubah apa2, apa kamu bole ubah pun. Whats done is done. Mmg kena live with it. Just dont do more damage and try to improve urself or sth.

5. Pantang bila kita tunjuk perasaan atau wat macam kita wujud, we sendiri yang akan kena gigit balek. So mcm tu xpyh ada perasaan senang. Then thres nothing left to show, to express. It is as simple as that.

I had that i need to put so much effort in certain things.

Especially this thing, sangat memenatkan and drains me out. Worse than studying for spm.

Being an angel is harder than being a demon.

I dont have to be like you. Even slightest bit. So fish it if you behave that way. Why bother ?

Trash myself and do that. No. That is not me. I might not get what you got, or what I have given or what I have gotten, forget it. What it is now is what I have. Thats all. I shouldnt be holding on to things that I never coulld have gotten. And I know I am way better than this, and I am way better than you. Yes, I can outweigh you. I just dont do it. I must be grateful with what I have.

Either way it is pointless. All will be back to square one.

You say you dislike it.
You say you hate it.
You say you cannot accept it.
Till you question the subject.
Why ?

You say you like it.
You say you love it.
You say you cannot live without it.
Till you push the subject away.
Why ?

What do I expect ?

Yeah, thats it. Thats the question.

If you say so and really mean it, then please act like one.

I never knew how sth can be so worthless, pointless at some point in life. I really dont see the point. What was the point?
I never knew that how one can be so not appreciative and see things where they should, please you are not so blind.
I never knew one can be so tired aftwr bearing, after trying, after putting up with so many things and this is what you get. I know I deserve much , much more better than all of this.
I never knew of how one can feel so stupid and at the same time made as if ones feelings and thoughts never existed moreso mattered at all. I didnt think it was important at all.
I dont know how one can be so selfish. And I see now that being selfish is not a difficult thing at all, its very easy, all you have to do is think about yourself n what you want to do at that moment and go with it. being not selfish is tough, very tough. You need to keep thinking and weighing all the things around you, be considerate and sensitive towards others.

I might have to do some reality checks. Maybe this is just not it.

Apa-apa saja la. A heli wont even work.

Yeah, whatever.

I dont wanna hear a lot of things so shut up.

It's all about steam
It's all about dreams
It's all about making
the best out of everything
You'll know when you're fine
cause you talk like a mime
You fall on your face
you get back up
and you're doing fine

a considerate clown,
a preachy preachy machine
is one of the sweetest things
you would say about me
but I don't have the time for your distorted esteem
Why are you toying with my mind

I don't wanna hear you
Say say say say say say it

Now you're messing with my pride

Look, you think you're smarter than me
Well everyone knows you will never be smarter than me
that's how it goes
I gained forty pounds because of you
Was there an "S" on my chest?
Well I confess you were to much stress
I'd have a heart attack at best
so now I breath it out
I breath it out
And I spit it on the crowd
cause they lift me up, they lift me up,
they lift me up when I'm feeling down
What I am I spitting out
Spitting out
Something we never talk about
It's called my, my mind

I don't wanna hear you
Say say say say say say it
Now you're fucking with my pride

Well I'm sick of standing in your line so now you'll have to take itl
Take this to heart
I will never let you fuck me over
Stop talking down to me
your war is old
your game is over
So here is my coldest shoulder

I don't wanna hear you
Say say say say say say it
Now you're messing with my pride

Something we dont talk about
Something we never talk about

If u dont want somebody to treat u like shit, why dont you dont treat that person like shit.

In the first place.

Seronok kan ?

Feel what I feel.
Live with what I have been living with. What I have to put up with. Thats a whole lot of fun.

I dont see where would that be going.

Truthfully.

Whats done is done. The damage has been done.

So suck it !

I am not buying any. I am just wasting your time and my time here.

You can wait, you can try till how long you want, i have a heart and mind of my own too, bare in mind you are not the only one.I dont just snap out of things that could have been the times of my life. And to snap out of you cant get back what you have lost or missed. Screw you for ever doing all those to someone and making someone feel that way ever in their life. Making them feel that they are stupid, hopeless, so fucked up and tied up to something that holds and brings you down so bad. But never got the balls to throw it away. Screw for all the fact that you never realised, cared, understood all the things you have and are and will be doin. Screw you for not giving the assurance of not doing all of those things all over again, you never do try to be better. Screw you for not being understanding. Screw you for not seeing things, what is seeing eye to eye? Screw you for making as if you are the only one. And somehow, sometimes, I dont feel bad of what i have done, or karma?

Screw you for all the bloody reasons that I can find in the world.

And trust me I mean it. And screw myself for not having enough balls to do things as I wish.

Hopeless.

You are.

Tired.
I am.

Go suck yourself!

Aku malas nak tanya. Malas nak tau. Malas nak amek tau. Malas nk layan.

For this whole period of time, I feel fine. Like oke you know. Like yeah i love this thangg. Its just now idk what to really expect or hope for. I just hope things go as normal as normal can be or stick to how things are right now. Coz if it doesnt, dang, screw you!

I. Will. Shoot. You.

Words are just words.
What are words
If you dont put your heart to it
If you dont put your actions to it
If you dont put your own meanings to it.

Words are just words.
What are words
It can sometimes mean a world to a person.
It can sometimes mean a disaster to a person.
If only you choose your words wisely.

Words are just words.
They mean nothing !

Are you trying to say I dont have the rights to do so ?

Shit you. I think I have all the rights in the world to do so, after all this while, mind you, much more than you do !

Wait, I'm starting to suffocate
And soon I anticipate
I'm coming undone
What looks so strong, so delicate

I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like I'm not getting better
Not getting better

Cakap lah apa pun.

Saya reti malas.

EMMM. How I pantang doing handwashing.

This is much more than setakat handwash ok ? Dah la tu kot. i am not trying to count but I cant help but to count. And there will be plenty moree. That should be fine. I do it too. Really ? Yeah, all I do. What I dont do ?

COLLEGE WEEK TWOO ! WOHOOO !

oh minus the mucho much exageration, college is good. not as crappy or scary or creepy as I might have expected. mmg kawan xdak banyak haha, kawan sekelas pun xtaw nama, muka pun cam tak cam, butt thanks to one mate from sggs, hehe. tp I know I am happier here rather than other places, no doubt.And I can survive much better and become myself here rather than tmpat laen. but sesriouly, dont have kwan sembang la, its like, ur niat to go to library to finish up ur homework terbatal. and.that.is.bad. hahaha. so I have one pending homework to complete. yes I call it homework, apa itu assignment ? saya tak tau. haha.

sso I am taking three subjects, I know I can take one more tapi tidak apa lah, better stick to those 3 ja. So lets go one by one.

Chemistry. Sighhhh ! I am taking this sebab terpaksa sangat. if in case I decide to take e n e, it is kinda like a requirement jgak la, I guess tpi to be on the safer sight. Kalo amek bio mcm xdak purpose pulak kn. Tpi kannn. chem aku mmg dah hancuq punah musnah, mai cikgu who keeps saying, its ok, scientist are all very smart, they make our life simple, its ok, dont worry, very easy and oso say nevermind. Aku rasa mcam nak amek manuals chem yang tebai bangang tu or a phy text book n bammm ! baling kat muka dia. paling2 pon amek calculator baling aihhh. sabaqqq ja. dh la 4 to 6. 4 hours of her per week. ok la fine. its like maynnnn, stop saying all those maynnnn. kalo senang aku tak dak lah masok ur class. bek aku dok umah goyang kaki belajar seniri. yoooo.

Physics. this is the only science sub yang I can go on with. So I think I am trying hard to stay and be ok with this and have hopes coz yeah, I kinda like it. boleh blah kan. Tapi yooo cikgu dia. I like her, shes ok la not annoying ka apa like chem but I rasa like she talks more than she teaches. like learn ckit ja in two hours. tapi so what kan, kena la balek baca sniri. but ok bare in mind, I think for now, your teacher can suck like crap but in the end you cant blame them.Give or take I suppose. Your parents are paying for ur education so stop complaining n put lotsa effort. skang ni xboleh kata la mcm dulu like ckgu ni xbgoih xbg nota or xbg latihan, mmg xdak la, suma self learn, self help, self study. no suap2 camca dah ehhh. I myself am saying all this tapi I didnt even sentuh the manuals yet heheheheh. tebai oh ! i willl ! the thing is just, I am happy with physics for now. and no matter what I will have to be in physics class sebab it is perty very importante.

Pure maths. A teacher who cycles back and forth to school, jumps here and there, yes hyperactive much, laughs like a geek, yeap, thats my pure maths or so called addmaths teacher, tapi dia okeee lah. I can blah maths so I accept it. haha. bare with it ja. lawak pon ada. fun la. xbosan !

Mechanics. The only teacher who is normal.Yes ! Dia normal haha. Comes to class, ajar2, straight to the point. No gelak2. he is good. and I like that. and why I like mechanics, it is so called physics ! hehehe.weee ~ for now I supppose ?

So its like tuition you know, how I am complaining so much dulu that there is no point to go to school and only attend tuition classes, this is it. ur paying for it, its two hours per subject, and its not everyday. And ada banyak kelonggaran. I feel like terlalu banyak masa pulak. haha.

So I am not saying a levels is tough, its actually lil easier than stpm. Senang kalo rajen study, baca banyak2 buku n what latihan, macam biasa. the thing is just, teachers are not goin to teach you 1+1 or cover whatever you missed during form four n five. You dont know or cant go on with high school syllabus, you should be trying now sebab things would be more complicated later on.And I have probs with chem and addmaths later on. greattttt ! and if you dont know something, just go and ask, malu tanya cikgu, p tnya some genius in ur class. Sebab seriously, I feel like effort is number one right now. theres plenty of time for you to use to study and read as much stuff as you can. I know me sitting here is also a waste of time haha.

So all in all is fine. I hope to go to one of their charity drive ka apa or something. Would like some experience. Class is fine accept suma snyap sajaaaa ~ yes i think i am the only one who actually want to make friends with others. yes how pathetic and sad !!!

I am content. =)

This is your life. This is your time.

Saya hanya seorang manusia biasa.

Saya pun reti penat. Saya reti rasa penat. Saya reti kata penat.
Saya pun reti kata idk, and for what. Saya pun reti rasa buntu and reti kata idk what is this for.
Saya pun ada hati. Saya pun ada perasaan.
Saya pun reti give up. Saya reti kata saya dah tak tau dah macam mana, saya reti kata idk how to do this anymore.
Saya pun reti kata saya tak dak mood or saya malas or saya mmg xdak akai sebab tiap2 hari saya cuba, i try hard everyday. I try to do things, to make things. I try. I dont just sit there and say i hope all goes well. And when it doesnt i still sit there. When everything is wrong, i still sit there and do nothing.
Saya pun reti kata saya ada keiinginan. Saya ada benda yang saya nak, benda yang saya suka dan benda yang saya tak suka.

Oh this hurts me more than I can stand to take in just one seating.

You left the room so I could pray.

I am very tired.

I really dont understand.

The one who gives you the chance.

I think we all should be with the one whom can bring out the best of you. The one who can bring you out and up. The one who can make you shine.

It's like we just can't help ourselves
'Cause we don't know how to back down
We were called out to the streets
We were called in to the towns

And how the heavens, they opened up
Like arms of dazzling gold
With our rain washed histories
Well they do not need to be told

Show me now, show me the arms aloft
Every eye trained on a different star
This magic
This drunken semaphore
And I

It is that hard to be happy.

Tak. Dak. Guna.

Tu ja bole cakap. I better go to a bowl of baskin robbins to get comfort. Nehhhh?

Period ka apa nihhhhh!

Why cant we all.

All just be honest. Yeah, look who is talking right.

Happy day ayyy. Hehehe. God Willing, in two months time.

Kalau kamu hanya pandai nak mengarah orang and tak wat keje je, baek tak payah.

Kalau kamu pandai je cakap tapi apa pon xbole buat, baek tak payah.

Kalau kamu keje nak depend je dgn orang hingga bende simple tak boleh nak buat, baek tak payah.

I sometimes forking hate you

FYI!!

Now you are just somebody that I used to know.

Food.

Can never fail to make you happy. Teehee.

I can be your one green eyed monster.

How the hell did you end up there.

Is there anything that i dont need to know?

A good conversation can go a long way.

And I am in need of one. Sigh.

What matters to you actually?

What do you care actually?

Idk n i dont want to know. If i were you, i think i would think n try n consider, i dnt think i would do it. Yeah, susah sgt kn.

KDU College, Penang.

I just like this damn thing haha

Sooo what do I feel right now, em, a bitt nervous, not that much since i ammmm tryingg to keep it together and not crap and think positive. I am more worried of how to sleep soon haha. and to brace the traffic and the long journey, i would zz in the car. For now I feel really sorry and bad for susah-ing my mom for like the next whole month, InsyaAllah when I am confident, I am off to go on my own teehee. Patience is the key that is ! What I feel is just the first day of school, you know the ur mom tanya, kasut, baju siap dah ka. Your dad tanya nak bangun kol bapa esok and tanya siap dah beg. haha. Yeappp, my moms like baju siap dah kaaa ? yeapp, haha I find that very funny. Then a minute later dads like Beg siap dah kaaa. haha. takpalah. All in all. I hope this will be an experience, a good one, a thing that I will learn, mature, understand, well just mostly mature from. I know I need to keep an open mind, have a wide perspective, be studious ahaaaa,do.not.flunk, and focus, and enjoy it. I wish myself all the best and best of luck. teehee.

Orientation?

What iZz orientation?

Freedom Writers. Beautiful.

I think what I dislike the most * in my whole life I think * is the inability to express or to say or to talk about something freely especially when you need to talk about it, but you cant due to various reasons, what is for me is, no freedom or the carefree thing to talk about anything you want. It is all the you have to watch your mouth, your thoughts, and never to not think twice. that is tiring. Why cant we just be free at leastt with our minds and thoughts right. yes, it is that difficult. I never knew.