kinda stable..

so 1st thing i did in the mornin was dozzing off.. hahaha.. i slept like 135am..

then yest i only slept for 5 or 6 hours..

the friday was four hours...

lets see how long i'll get to sleep later..

so sis msgd me n al..

then in the car sudenly she said jap cancelled..

n i was like mother fucker bitch!!! y oh y??? i was so damn ready.. not to say ready.. i just dont care whether im stayin beck or not.. n u have to b cancelled.. just great..

then erm.. ohh yeah.. i swap my phone.. gahgah.. i don care.. as long as ic an still msg, take pix n songs.. thats all i kinda need to keep myself barely sane..

so i cant actually msg all the tym anymore.. scared if i get busted.. hahahx..

then it was history.. ok la.. yeah i didnt do my notes.. hehe.. will b doin it after this i think..

n yeah..

i didnt cry this morning.. 1st ting i said to myself was SMILE!!! and i did.. i even went down the stairs n all smiling.. eventho my eyes cud barely open.. but i smiled.. i was like its ok.. its going to b fine.. everyone has to go to school no matter wat.. ur going to meet ur friends.. ur buddies..

u must make them b happy

and i know

im selfish.. hmmphhh...

and i just realised lots of ppl idk...like ermm..

just tht theres this * aiman, ur not ok, u have lots of prob evntho u say u dont * written on my forehead with blood.. some sort of like tht..

so, they can c it in my eyes n face.. hahahah...

n lots of em...

too bad...

i'll try n hide it..

n i tend to b kinda secretive nowadays.. even to let evrythn out to my problem solver took me for a while to whether tell him or not.. n how... fuhh...

then recess...

gahgah..

i was sittin wit my buddies.. and al lof a sudden.. he came.. actually his frined.. then he sat beside his friend.. before sitting down.. we just look at each other nwas like * hmmmm... *

then he left.. so i thot ok cool hes gone..

then as i got up, i turned around n he was sittin directly behind me.. facing me.. hands on his face...hahahha.... then thats all.. i went away..

pj was okey.. played with the ball.. chated2.. chatted2..

then it was bm.. nothing happened

so as english...

so... that was my sunday, well half of my sunday..

and yeap.. im confused.. over more than one thing.. its a couple of stuff...

shitzzz....

i have to go.. eventho i feel like pouring out.. n also scream my lungs out..

( snapped back to reality )

erh.. idk how to say this.. but emm.. how r we.. ermm.. gona meet tomorrow??

la.. awat la..

u wana meet? u wana talk face to face.. ohh shit.. oh hno no no...

y oh y???

nk kata i like him.. i just dont know him..

but i never expected him to mention anythin bout meeting tomorrow..

this is shitty.. haih...

stop asking me bout school.. even mention it.. or ill yell..

dahla tgk tv kat sini.. aku dah la xley dgr lagu.. xsuka ahh..

i need to buy headphones..

then he said.. hes gona die of blushing.. well me too okay..

so he said.. its ok.. then itll end both of our life just like tht n we dont have to ever go thru 'it'

ur so right man..

eeeeee... now not only well mmg i dont want to go to schooll.. n now its worse.. i'll get nervous, out of breathe, heart popping out.. fuck!!!

why??!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i hate this...

pastuh sudeni.. suma org came bush3!!!

ym dah 4 orang..

sms 5 orang..

penat aku..

esok dahla stay..

pastuh kan..

otak ang lahh...

things r complicted ehh??

ni la yg aku xnk langsung..

at all

asal ahh???

ur so abnormal

i know!!!

hahax..

meter rosak.. dok up n down, up n down

aku xnk p skola!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

aku sedey..

cm nak nges dah

coz satu skola

dua adala..

xpayah tau

bodo j apon..

lagi..


i cant blive aku emo smpai mcm nihh...


nyesal ahh..

n sudenly my problem solver out of nower came n msgd me..

haix..

so damn rite timing..

evrtns now like too late..

or r u sure?

shitzy..

nnti...

if suma settle..

and i start a new chap in life..

ill list down all names yg important to me..

all of emm..

tanpa sensor2..

tahla esok skola canna..

aku xbapa mau tau..

sobz..

pinky yinky finger

no secrets between us

so i think im really actually gona stay back tomorrow..

and my mum said to bring ma phone.. she doesnt mind going to school to go n get it if it is confiscated.. but my dad.. he was like.. ahh this sund.. its better la u dont bring.. cuz we dont have tym to to school n get ur phone.. blughhhh..

yeah.. still kinda confused..

katy pery - hot n cold

n disturbed r cool..

esok stay la kot.. seems like it.. sobz..

xtau nak akta pa..

i mean fot tomorrow

malas nk cont.. tuning my guitar.. chatting..

XD

gahgah.. yeahp.. i look like im 6..

oke2.. bigggy smiles!!!!

i felt way much better than yest.. im smiling... ok so he said.. when u get up 1st thing u do is smile and stretch ur arms n legs to the limit.. n i did.. n i was smiling.. tx bro..

so im all so smiley... lets go to the happy part yest..

ahhh i wasnt even bothered bout sleepin for only four hours.. well yeah i was yawning in the car, msgin2... but yeah i survived!!!

so ..

just phrases la that i find.. no... i just like to put em here.. my dad said n mum..

- dad ; itsnot that hes going to make me richer, but anyways i want the car la... ( idk y )

- dad : but thats the facts of life

- dad : ur mother is vigorously wiping her hair with the tissue.. hopefully not many hair

will fall off..

- mum : eh, what happened today? y r there less cars on the road? ( she agk rasa pelik n

worrid ) maybe every1s getting out of the island coz its sinking..

- me : hyperkids r hyperkids.. but tthey are cute..

- me : (snapping a pic wit my mum )

mum : nk tgk2..

me : amek one more2..

mum : hahah.. ok2..

mum : tgk2...ha ok2..

me : nak amek 1 more2..

mum : ahh oke2.. boley2..hahah .. take one more2

me : gahgah..

- theres this chinese gal.. from deaf n mute community or sth.. she came to me n my mum

while we were havin lunch.. it was written on a card la.. idk wat it says but if u give some

money then u'l get this two keychain or sth 4 ur phone n all... ok la xpa.. gave la n

all but didnt take it...

guess wat? when i look up to check her around.. she wasnt there anymore.. at all.. like she

just vanish into thin air. serious man..n she only came to that table.. theres milion

otthers lady! are u an angel??

- my mums still scared coz theres not many ppl in the island

- idk.. but i wana talk about him.. yeah.. he msgd me like 3 tyms to get up for subuh prayers..

askin me to get up n pray then go back to sleep again.. yest laa..

- hes major in piano.. n learnin how to play guitar. gahgah..

- ( this will go away )

- he likes beat.. so its hip hop.. fuhh...

- i can go mad of extreme boredom.. i was luffin like a jackass at my dads table.. haihh..

- i got up at 845 this morning.. smiling.. hahaha...

- yeah i kinda like eat least since the hols.. like less rice.. i dont even eat in the morning till

lunch tym only...

- went round gurney. we suppose to get bday present for my dad.. but my muma s usual wen to

the shoes section and as usual tried all on.. wanted to buy two pairs.. same pattern, diff colour!

n i saw that bloody fucking shoe that im wearing now has another colour n looks so nice.. she

didnt say anitin. blughhh... but yeah the sales gals din noe where the shoe is as the person in

charge was off.. gahgah.. hehe..

- 1018 am.. im yawning.. great

- omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! guess what??

theres school ppl!!!! yeah!!!! i so cant wait!!!! yayayayayayay!~~!!!!~~~~ ahahahahh..

( aiman shud b shot on the head )

no one can get everything..

benda suma yg nk dickpkan ni xdk kaitan dgn sesiapa pun.. sis,, amalina u guys r great. just im triyn to get over it..

ok la.. pagi tu.. everything was fine

except.. i only slept for 4 hours.. first time in my life.. and i didnt sleep at all during the daytym.. even going back home.. thts maddd..

haih i feel so down..

ok the thing is.. i was happy to go home coz i want to write bout what hapened to the happy part of the day...

mana tau la kan.. my dad finished at 530... n for gods fuckin sake.. thats wen the jam starts...

so i was like great.. then in the car for sure la blegh3!!!!! aku xsuka!!! sapa suroh pindah ?!!! kalo xpindah..xyah lalui jam ni tau x??

then my mum pon dok... dot3.. but she was drama-free the whole day.. thank god.. suma cm tension ahh caught in a jam... aku apa g.. emo la kan.. dengar lagu mcm nk pecah telinga kot..
dahla fon batt mati.. chun gila beb!!

pstuh.. p la dok fikir where r we gona stay n all..

but2



the conclusion here im tryin to say is

1 sapa soh keluaq lambat sgt

2 sapa soh jual town hse or condo tu?? kalo x boley la stay gak kan..

3 whos bloody damn fucking bright idea to fuckingly MOVE!!!


pastuh p la umah minah ni.. xpala..

since ok.. so after nmpk the big jam, we turned back.. so dad wen to the office n we were off to gurney again.. okk..soo thought all ok.. so we left gurney to get him n go back.. manala tau kan.. dia call ckp bridge dok jam lagi.. i don wan go home.. go home ony at 930..

puki hang.. aku xtau nk ckp pa..

orang dah aimless.. pastuh baru kuar gurney.. la baru nk habaq?

so p la umah aunty niee..

aku dh la hot dah kan..

dia boley dok ckp

mmg la dia xtau aku hot.. so xpa..

she was like. oh this firend of mine, her daughter got gud results and got a chance to go to mrsm, but she didnt. she still stayed at st georges..

puki hang lagi..cm na aku x tension g...

then i passed the school a few tyms.. i rmbd wat malina said..

yeah the school is cool just by lookin at it by far.. its cooler wen ur part of it..

so i actually regreted going in that school eventho it was for 6 months during form 1. i felt its better i never knew that school.. coz i know if i g terus ibrahim ill just die there.. but now its like i died.. so its better to go to ibrahim yg mmg omg rather thn going to sggs ( mmg i hated tht school, but wen i went to ibrahim, sggs was heaven !! so georgians, i know u hate sggs, but u'll know if u come to ibrahim or anywer.. sggs.. haihh.. ) sobz..

then lalu that house agak byk kali.. aku dh emo.. muka mmg dah merah dah.. tinggal tunggu tears ja. . tu pun hampir..

then shes askin my mum to go and buy a house.. there in pg.. even her sis... arrrrrrrrrgvhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
tension..

yes u can say that i have a phobia of going to pg d.. its either coz scared my mum wud b dramatic again or jam or stupid fckin memories..

dahla rumah tu dekat trafic light.. bila dok depan trafic light.. lama pulak tu nk tunggu hijau..

yeah i m sleepy, but i cant sleep. my hairs still fuckin wet..

pastuh dalam keta,, bole ylak cakap i cant drive in this conditon, i hate jams..

then bole lak.. ohh sini hhospital xdk facility yang ok, no decent place to shop( im nt sure hw to spell it ), xdk tempat grand to eat or have dinner, xdk byk ahh lagi..

sapa punya soh mai... sapa? mai hbq?

yg pasti aku xkan wat benda mcm tu..

tapi kan.. benda ni kecik ja.. bukannya like my dad maki aku ka.. apa ka..

xdk pon..

n skang nih.. kalau aku emo, mulut aku cepat ja jadi laser.. pastuh marah tu jgn tanya la..

at least dulu kalo emo, underground, quiet

skang, i'll b totally rude no amtter hu u r..

yes i was in the car like tht..

walkking round gurne ylike tht..

so i jz donno wat to do..

so, this is actually for noreason. maybe to bored coz i nganga at my dads ofice for 40 mins wile i was so excited to go home n write bout it, then sudeni caught in a jam..

i sed to my mum..

i got this genes from daddy..

i cant tolerate jams..

and im sorry ur daughter is short-tempered, hot-tempered, angry, impatient, grumpy gal..

i got it from him.. so i'll b like him..

dahla sund skola.. aku syok gila siyott..

dahla stay!!! haram syok!!!

the 1st ting m gona do wen my dad wakes me up ontht very sickenin sund mornin is CRY !!

then ill go on brushing my hair n so on..


ppl ckp, the past is the pst.. jgn dikenang...

ahhh sket ati....

i really feellike i wana cry again..

i tink i will..

yeah im angry n emo coz

of movin here i still cant get over it.. shit..

yeah m mad coz im stupid.. i cant move on n get over it

i cant grow up.. but heck i hate growing up..

aku geram tau..

mmg la.. bendda ni shudnt have been an issue pon.. but tahla..

dalam keta tu mmg mcm babi ah.. tension.. xtentu pasai..

byk g yg nk ckp, but tah ahh..

yeah n i cried badly yest.. coz of missing some1 n if my life was there, things wud never b this way at all..

i had kak siti.. sayin her name made my face turn red.. im gona seriously gona cry

my bro was there eventho nothing big happened. but just felt like yeah i have my bro at home.

then the house..

im sobbing..

then the ppl i grew up with..

yeah, raudha said ari kak siti balek indon tu nanges teruk gila, tapi x call2 pun..

i did.. a couple of tyms mula.. but evrytym idid.. i cried..

badly..

i even rmbd.. i was tlkin to her using my own credit.. n like i was studyin geo since it was exam tym..

i mis sher..

this is going nower.. nothings gona change even if i rite this like till infinity.. of coz it wont.. some mite say i sud go bec to pg.. i dunt think thtll b a gud idea.. nothings d same at all.. like at all anymore.. thres no point..

im great at being pathetic like this..

this is sickening.. with pmr n all.. it should b fun..

if i call her, ill go cryin again n emo.. thats for sure...

at tyms, ill close my eyes.. n imgine i get back from school, shell open the door for me.. then i wanna go n check out wat she have for lunch but shell prevent me from doin it by dragging me n askin me to go up.. then i'll go n change n eat n all..

or i'll just trail back.. look back at the house the layout the details in the house.. i'll imagine myself walking in the house just like i used to live there..

this sux...

im hurting myself..

its not gona solve anythin..

thisis pathetic..

sickening..

n i gz i was so damn emo tht idk y la.. but evry teenage guy i see.. i see him.. wtf?!!!
so s u can see.. i ws tht bad.. every boy looks like him.. madd...

im off..

sux

i got lots more to say but i dont geel like digging deeper..

wonder pac

( biting my lips, gulps, worried a bit .. )

( two cute hugs and a cute heart )

oke2.. cut the shit out.. the thing is.. haih..

he suddenly said..

urh.. nid ur help.. its one of those days.. ( its emo days to him )

so iwas like ohh shit.. cause normally im the one whose emo and angry and all.. and normally no ones like that.. so kinda like for the 1st in my life.. ive met and g2 help this dude whose kinda like me..

ok..heheh.. hmm.. honestly, i hope u dun mind me telling u this.. erm.. im erh.. im relly lookin forward to.. our.. relationship.. :P

adoi...

he seems so down

so pissed off

tiredd

haih..

evntho ive only seen him once just now..

i mean daytym..

now he looks so down..

ok2.. omg!!! hes using k810i n im k800i.. thts madddddd....

ok2.. so webcam2.. n all.. i hope he gets better..

so the not gud thing is tht..

i was actually kinda worried when he said it was those days...

wtmff??!!!

skang nihh.. mcm.. ish ahh..

oh tidakk...

hes kinda cute..

but.. ive never talked to him face to face.. just webcamin n msgin..

till like 3 am.. but not constantly.. thank god. or i need a topup shop nextdoor..

rivermaya - balisong

ohh tidak.. aku xnk jiwang..

tapi.. ishh

nak aku suka kat dia x... yeah.. i kinda like not likign anyone rite now..

but.. hes diff.. eventho he has those two weird things that i should avoid for the whole of my life...

ish 1251am.. i have to go

im going pg tomorrow..

but not shopping..

i went to laksa shack at v.mall just now..

walking past by all the clothes and at street zero and shop a lot.. mg..

i felt the itch of shopping.. of shopping!!! i want to have sth.. clothes,shoes,pants..

shop ok!!! kinda like been dieing to do it for so long.. itching for it!!! hell!!

haihh...

n yeah i just cudnt blive all of a sudden i was a t vmall.. hahahah...

so u can see that i havent been anywhere..

haishh

its just that i think idk him so well, so its just hard..

n i just talked to kak linda... hahah.. yeah i like her.. shes nice..

i hope im not going overboard...

i ahve to go

but feel like blogging still

and lots of errors..

dont feel like correctin it.. hope u can und..

erm.. i know we just met.. but.. y i have this kind of feeling??...

idk my dear.. but

i guess i just got that feeling yest or today...

i need to know u more n all..

id ont want to tension myself just cause of this things n all

n

i didnt tell anyone about him.. not even my sis..

wth??!!!

ill think about it...

pastuhh da pulak mamat nii

tiba2 buzz..

pastuh cakap

aiman

i sedih nii

apa dia?!!!

dia break pulak..

apa nihh..

incubus- i miss u

aku akan emo coz dgr cita mamat ni

ok

pagi ni perassaan bercelaru teramat sgt gila

y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how cum som1 do tht to him..

walaupun i dont know him dt much.. ckp pu nlike member2 ja..

and evntho dia dgr lagu gila thp siyot..

y???

hes a nice guy

u must b seriosu??

bapak bodoh nya minah tuhh..

im giving kisses to evry1

i cant go off..

y wud she do tht to him

this is so not cooll..

somebody..

from that those days dude, now this dude is heartbrokened..

it needs to be mended soon..

hes saying its hard aiman..

and me... i just cant imagine him goin thru all this..

hes a nice guy..y oh y

im tlkin witg sis n malina n member. n msgin him

i have to leave.. but i cant

too much to handle?

too much too bare??

idkk...

im gona b dead, i got no idea hw to get up 2moro.. but wt the heckk

is not alwiz i cn do this..

i feel like reaping n tearing out my heart and give it to

sis

amalina

cyclin member

this member

this msgn dude

this ex dude

byk g...

haish...

so..

dudes out of nower came..

and met a great sis..

sobz..

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i ahte this

so hes not ok... how m i gona make him ok...

this is...

ish...

i have to go..

but i cnt just simply say dude.. i wana go

apeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haih.. this is miserable..

i hope im helping him rather worsening his condition..

cause im gud at making stuff worse rather than beta..

ishh..

i like g2g but i cnt leve him

yeap he buntu sgt.. smpai tetiba maic arik i.. tht is th kronik

wey.. now im worried bout u..

its the damn cooles thinkever..

ig2g

but

doi..

kalau la boley msg

xknishh

hes gona make me cry

like totally

at 208am

i cnt leave him

aku nihh??

undestndin sgt kerr/?

ati batu adeler..

bapak mamat tuuhh.. ckp cm ngn apa.. the msgin guy i mean..

bahbik nya mamat.. sakit ati gak ahh..

agak geram la

aku tampar kamoooo

xxoxoo

akuxsanggup lak nk biar dia..

pulak dah

ok la..

gahgah.. so yeah my dad helped me out to get new words.. no, ididnt tell him bout my blog and the learn a couple of words a day.. it just that bbc news was on the tv, so this and that..

so this british or canadian woman, actress, died after an innocuous fall whilst skiing in a resort in canada that tragically took her life away. she was only 45. ( many ppl say that they can/would only live till the age of 45, omg ) so2... they repeated that damn news for like 5 times in less than 35 minutes.. so my dad was like. WHY dont u just say that she died and resurrected??

thatll be exciting..

gahgah..

and2..

R I P

1 REST IN PEACE

2 RISE IN PEACE

3 RISE IF POSSIBLE

ok2.. new words..

1 innocuos - unlikely to offend, harmless, safe, mild

2 resurrect - bring somebody to life



3 suppress - to stop,end sth, , stop spreading, publication
- The report was suppressed for political reasons
- suppressed all complaints with a gag order



4 phosphenes - its the stars u see after u rub ur eyes



5 contrary - conflicting ( not in agreement ), opposite, disobedient ( defiant )
- Such arrangements were contrary to his moral code.
- flew in a direction contrary to the rest of the airplanes
- a contrary child ( like aiman rizal )

( sp has nothing but nothing ... )

i suppose to go to lost world of tambun on the 27th i guess.. but since my sis is actaully on leave on the 26th and 7th, so it shattered into pieces.. i have to tell my dad that all of the teachers on 26th are not coming.. hahah.. all on thurs.. so at least i may have a chance to go n be mad.. gahgah... my dad would say which one do u want? a slap or a good lecture?? or both??



but2.. rafaels bday is comin!!! hahah.. so yeah with chocolate indulgence and western dinner i think, salmon block, salad, garlic bread, mushroom soup.. itll b great.. i hope so.. and i have to help out.. haishh..... and thats without music.. double haish..



but lost world of tambun..



i wonder wat will my dad say if i said that i have a blog.. and update it like everyday or is it everytime.. he'll 100%say u blooddy fucker, dont u know that ur fuckingly wasting ur fucking time??

( all nightmare long ).

6 perverse - inexplicably irrational, cranky, stubbonly unreasonable ( i kinda like it )

- There's a kind of perverse logic that argues that only working longer and

harder can get you more free time.

7 outrage - violent/offensive act, fury, arouse anger in smbdy ( infuriate )

8 impedent - naughty imaginery being ( lucifer ), mischievous child

( and khoo will be giving us plenty of maths work when pmr is just around the corner.. do it.. it'll help u a lottt.. )

( dunlet a tuition teacher affect u )

i'll try not to listen to mr lim.. and i will prove him wrong.. god please.. i need it..

omg.. and now when i see that he sends me a message.. my heart wil lkinda go like .. omg...

not good ppl.. not good at all..

and theres no such thing as blush to death.. gahgah..

9 contradiction - sth illogical , opposing statement or inconsistency

10 obnoxious - ( im always not sure bout this )

- very offensive/ unpleasant
- obnoxious stench



11 tyranny - cruel use of power, cruel act

( incubus - i miss you )

12 karma - destiny, fate ( karma and effect )

13 deja vu - feeeling of reliving sth [ a feeling of having experienced something before,
although in fact it is the first time that it has been experienced ]
- boredom, repetitive, same ol same ol ( macam aku ja.. )



14 im lazy to get words.. hehe..

( i dont want to waste my time mourning about sth thats imposibble for me to get.. i like it.. )

( i'll try, i'll try )

chris brown - forever

chris brown/ jordin sparks - no air

i suppose to be gone.. leavin the pc in peace..

but look what im doing??... posting the 2nd entry for the night. or early mornin

1247am

crash and burn

midnight to midnight

ahahha.. i like it.. like hell..

i think of homework, studying for coming exams and not forgetting PMR!! almost the whole time, but im not doing anything.. my homeworks is still like mount everest, not including folios.. shitt..

ok2.. so this..

mum : haihh.. oh noo!!! to morrow i have 8 OCLOCK CLASS!!!haih.. ( continues blabbing nonstop to my dad, bla3, still coz she needs to get up early and prepare for the class and what not )

dad : huhh?? ur talking to me isit??

bored..

not really feeling ok now... shit..

no xoxo..

webcamwhoring..

so webcam n all.. so yeah

i was up n all.. then he talked2 a bit.. n all

so okla..

up2..

then conference g.. it will surely help..

i know..

since im writing a new entry..

gahgah...

smiles2...

so this dude.. his name starts with an A, again.. haihh...

hes kinda mad.. the maddest among all guys.. haha.. i guess..

but hes the person.. no yeah a person..

where i should freakingly,fuckingly stay away from..

cause :

1 his name.. has that two alphabets.. ( its dangerous.. )
2 not only the name.. he live in *** ( its not guud at all.. )

so.. its like.. its no good.. at all.. not only he has the name( 2alphabets), even the place... thats ultimately omgdly should fuckingly be avoided throughout my whole life.!!

but2.. tah la.. hes like.. idk...

first thing came out.. this weird,odd thingy..

but i said to myself.. y dont u just talk to him and be friends..

but, eventho hes this n that.. hes diff.. diff from others..

some may say hes weird or emo or loves to be alone..

but wth right.. dont judge him that way..

bullet with butterfly wings

wings of a butterfly

gahgah..

im constantly wasting time as u can see.. and the clocks sure are ticking and it aint going to stop even when the world falls.. means..

PMR IS SURELY GONNA GET US !!!

breaking benjamin - diary of jane

goshh.. my guitar.. my babe... y oh yyyyy!!

and2.. i have to learn how to sleep and get up early..

so no more late night, early morning cahtting/blogging...

fuck la man..

and2 my mum always.. i say ALWAYS threaten me by saying if u sleep late, its not good for ur hair..

as for my dad, he'll say u'll have lots of pimples just like ur sis.. wtf!!

im bored.. deadly bored...

so.. im going..

i'll try to sleep if i can..

or do homework..

lady gaga - just dance

XOXO

sun shining

ive got a secret
its at the tip of my tongue and
at the back of my lungs
ive got a secret
and i know sth that u dont know

1028am

got up at 9+ with ezzas wake up call.. happy birthday ezza!!! hope u'll have a better time..

talked2..talked2..talked2..

so here i am..

in a nearly horrible, miserable, tragic condition

but.. lets learn new words, shall we??

1 adequate - enough, barely enough, sufficient, satisfactory
- getting adequate sleep huh??

2 tarnish - make/become dull/discoloured, damage ones reputation

3 impair - to lessen the quality,strength,effectiveness of sth,ruin,spoil,weaken

4 diminish - make/become smaller

5 belittle - make seem less significant ( put down )
- i dont want to belittle her achievement

6 decry - critize smby/sth openly ( condemn, belittle )
- critics decrying lowered standards in education

7 pertain - have relevance, be part or belong, appropriate
- to be part of something or belong to something, especially as an
attribute or accessory

8 deceit - dishonest practice, sth done to mislead some1

9 beckon - gesture to smbdy to come, attract or tempt
- gesture, indicate
- my mum beckoned me to come over to her side.

10 reckon - regard, count, include smbdy/sth, believe/think of sth
- shes reckoned the best in her field
- we reckoned its speed at approx 350mph
- i reckon him among my friends

11 blitz - concentrated effort, military bombing, charge on passer
- a last-minute blitz to finish up my homework

12 array - collection, striking arrangement
- a dazzling array of talent
- an array of Greek sculptures

13 mogul - powerful person ( entrepreneur, industrialist, tycoon )

14 bewilder - to confuse som1 completely ( baffle,confound,baffle,mystify,puzzle )

15 vanquish - defeat sombdy in a battle/competiton, overcome emotion

16 audacity - boldness/daring, impudence
- lack of respect in somebody's behavior toward another person

17 subdue - bring smb under forcible control, soften sth/less intense,repress emotion
- idealism subdued by experienc
- worked hard to subdue her irritation

nice guitar, lil bit of drums

sitting in the dark i cant forget,
even now i realise the time i'll never get,
another story of ....,
i cant go back again

but u asked me to love u and i did,
traded my emotions for a contract to commit,
and when i got away,
i only got so far,
the other me is dead,
and i here voices inside my head

we were never alive,
and i wont be born again,
i'll never survive

with dead memories inside my heart,
dead memories in my heart

u told me to love u and i did
set my soul..
so when i got away
i only kept my scars
the other me is gone
now i dont know where i belong

dead visions in ur name,
dead fingers in my veins

bluugghhhh.....

haih...

so... i was all high, ok2 n all the whole day..

then all of a sudden... dushhhhh... just because of this damn fucking, tin y iny lil matter,

my spirit as usual fell down to the drain..

so it is wed.. n its like 1230 am on a wed early moning..

so as i said.. if i really like them, ill say their names..

but since im emo n all.. so im not sure.. but i think..

when im ok, happy.. i'll like them.. i guess i really do i think

she said.. shes serious.. she likes me.. and doesnt want anyone to hurt me..

yeah i love her too.. even my mum can see that.. i cared for her so much..

and him.. my dad says that hes a very concerned boyfriend..

i like em.. theyre sweet.. nice..

but i cant elaborate.. sadly..

simply coz im down n out. im tryin myself up ok at least for the first time..

forget bout the pic on top.. its just a pic...

so this emo thing.. made my feelings unconstant..

y must life actually be complicated??

ahahh.... i know...

if its not complicated, its not life in the first place huh??

yeah i actually got interesting phrases from my dad and some words of wisdom from him i guess.. but im so not in the mood to type it down... so ill save it for the coming entry perhaps..

i think now...

i want this for persons.. this one of emm.. idk y hes in it in the first place

- s

- b

- j

- a

u know?? u think u know?? i dont know..

i want hug em.. i want meet em.. i want hang out with em.. i want to talk to em.. i wanna noe more about em.. i wana grow close wit emm.. thats too muchh... way muchh..

will i cry ??

maybe..

will i weep to death??..

probably not..

i hate this..

xoxo

homewrk list

1 foliosssss - geo, sej, sivik

2 bm komsas

3 bm oral

4 bi oral

5 seni

6 sn notes

7 ag notes

8 geo notes ( m not sure, do we even have the book? )

9 sej notes

10 maths blue book

11 kh notes..

12 study la man...

and2.. try pasting like ur goal.. or vision or mission or whatever.. which i bet must be 7/8 As for PMR.. make it a poster and stick it on ur bedroom wall.. hahah.. im in the process of doing it.. gahgah..

huhh....

theres this dude..

we chatted only a couple of times at ym..

ive seen him once.. more than once actually..

but i only remembered that one..

so we dont meet at school..

asked for my number all of a sudden..

and he started to be weird..

not weird.. but weird..

but2..

hes kinda cute though..

i thought hes having this syndrome ive yet to name..

the syndrome where u are all too emo to live.. simply because ur life sux, a gal left u, heartbroken, unresponded love, one sided love, so on and so forth and u ended up being so desperate that u want a person so badly.. but when u get ur head back.. ur back to normal..

thats good..

look up

its 1214pm.. i just got up 20 minutes ago..and im learning words..yaya!!!

1 outbreak - sudden occurrence that happened out of nowhere
- the outbreak of HIV ( huh,i got no idea )

2 plague - something/someone bad i think.or sth unpleasant that is in a large quantity
- plague of violence

3 rampant - wild, raging, out of control

4 ubiquitous - everywhere...omnipresent

5 prevalent - common, widespread

6 rife - found widely/frequently, common, full of sth
- a society rife wih corruption
- areas where poverty is rife
- Rumors were rife that the factory was about to be closed down.

( i think im going to make blogs as a source of study. if im addicted to it.. i need to make sth good out of it at least.. self-help.. gahgah.. not pure wasting time )

7 endemic - restricted to one place, living in a defined place
- Typhoid fever used to be endemic in the Deep South.

8 epidemic - sth unpleasant.. but growth, rapid developement
- an epidemic of civil unrest and rioting

9 nuisance - annoyance,irritating man..

10 incapacitate- to harm,rule somebody out, deprive of effectiveness
- the drug is used to incapacitate the victim

11 deprive - not allow to have, take away
- they have no right to deprive you from your family

12 fleece - wolly coat of sheep, warm jacket, soft covering like rocks with a fleece of moss
con or swindle somebody out of money
cheat - They make their living by fleecing tourists.( cool huh? )

13 liberate - set smbdy free physically or from social constraints,set free


14 indestructible - permanent, unbreakable, shatterproof ( i lke thaht )

15 misconceive - fail to und sth.. or form a false conception of sth

16 malfunction - breakdown, fail to work normally

17 succumb - die, give up

18 go dutch - pay for ur own meal

19 diverse - different, very

20 quid pro quo - change info

21 prominent - someone outstanding

22 cliche - a phrase that is frequently used, lost its originality

23 coherent - logically
- he was to drunk he was barely coherent

24 dunce - stupid

25 remnant - remains
- the remnants of the food were given to the dogs

26 reminisce - to rememeber the past

27 serene - tranquil, calm, peaceful, calm and untroubled

28 vibrant - ( bright colours ) / energetic [ vivacious ] bubbly, chirpy

29 raving - wildly irrational, angry, insulting
-the ravings of a person cheated
( rayman raving rabbids- wildly irrational )

30 eccentric - unconventional, odd, som1 with unusual habbits, strange, peculiar

31 relinquish - abandon, let sth go, surrender sth

32 render - give help, translate sth, portray sth artistically, give up,trade return sth

Comfort on difficult days,

Smiles when sadness intrudes,

Rainbows to follow the clouds,

Laughter to feel your lips,

Sunsets to warm your heart,

Gentle hugs when spirits sag,

Friendships to brighten your being,

Beauty for your eyes to see,

Confidence for when you doubt,

Faith so that you can believe,

Courage to know yourself,

Patience to accept the truth,

And love to complete your life…!!

1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul/spirit

1252pm : hungry

shit.. 5th entry.. ( havin fun tho )

so i went for a pee.. whilst peeing.. i could even set a draft for what to write for my next entry.. this cant be happening..

so. . the issue was.. hahah.. issue..

ohh yeah speakin of issues.. its either whitey or stocking has issues.. theyre fighting for the red basket or their stinkin bed.. haih..

ok... back to business..

the thing was.. blogging.. as u all can see.. ive been spending so much time inappropriately just to update and make new entries.. its not gud. not healthy.. for my health and my future..

but2.. yeah some people take it as for self-improvement.. for their english, vocab, themselves..

as u can see.. for me.. ive been complaining that its taking up my time ,bla3... ( but i still write.. bullshitt !! .. )

so... i just hope.. i really2 hope.. by blogging ( and wastng my time.. ) it can actually help me in some way.. writting perhaps? getting boombastic words? producing a first class essay perhaps? ( ahahahhaahahah, im madd ppl.. sorry..it 1am ) a mind blowing piece of writting ? aiman get a life..

or self-medicate.. gahagahh...hhehee..

no self-medicate right now is mp3..

and holidays... eventhough its just dreadful.. hahahahha

bo mi kia..

i need to know more chinese for gods sake...

sparkles of the million flash lights..

i wonder how it starts?

but the one that is shining out so bright

is the one right where u are

sis cakap.. wo de piku pu tze hen ta.. wo de piku like belon.. aku nk maki hang elok2..

and its not bo mi kia k...

hahah.. joke2 ni..

so app.. it the blind leading the blind.. haiyooo... piku man...

i miss the dougiee... i'l get him a toy for the next trip to jb.. i actually forgot that day..haishh.. maybe not a toy.. itll be awesome.. heheh.. sth squishy.. and colurfull.. bright.. and a small teddy.. to keep him company..

and pigs.. noseyyyy... pinkkyyyy.. bak kut teh.. yummy man!!!

and akak tetibe.. silent.. asal nihh??

mata,hati,jiwa - awie siyottt

and i gave a lecture..no not really lecture.. words of wisdom to goldfish.. ok so it was ike

my dad opened the gate.. and all of a sudden goldfish became hyperactive and ran out to the middle of the road..

apa lagi??

mamat tu kalot la nak selamatkan buah ati jantung pisang dia..

( ohh kalo stocking ka kena lenyek lori mpspk ang x kata pa. ni minah tu lari nak men hide n seek wit u, u wat kalot tahap cipan pa? )

she just dashed straight to the middle of the road.. so he managed to beat her with her short game of hide and seek with her dad. so whilst i was enjoyin my laksa..

dad : aimannnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! y u didnt tell me u let the cats out?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( i bet the whole neighbourhood could hear it )

my mum said she thought his balls came out..

excuse me... duhhh.. i alwiz, n alwiz let the cats out at that time.. okeyhh???

x percaya.. p tanya akak,malina,j.. they know ok...

so i said to goldfish.. yeah i talked to her.. neighbours thought immad.. n u too right?? xpa..

i sanggup..

so i said.. becarefull when u go out of the gate.. even if u want to, u come and tell me, call me then i'll bring u.. dont simply run in the middle of the road. its not healthy. its dangerous. with a lot of cars and all..

i said much more than that.. almost five minutes.. i hope she unds what im trying to tell her.. its for her own good.. dont try and die in a very tragic way will ya? i still love u.. especially ur the one and only batu gantong cat i have.. n i will forever have.. for life... oh fuckk. i just realised that.. shes a precious diamond man.. fuckk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unfairr..

so, i went inside and told my parents that i had a talk with goldfish.. haahhahahahah..

but i seriously did talk to her.. confront her n all.. aiman... aku kesian kat ang..

130am dah... pa nk jadi...

babi sikit tulis.. haish..

thank god i dont have a pda, or touchscreen or iphone.. and with internet.. cause if i do.. i wont stop blogging.. at all.. and no sleeping or anytin.. thank god...

akak cakap.. my two rabbbiiddzz front teeth cute jugak.. apa kes??

beat of my heart- hilary duff

fly- hillary duff

devils horns up!!!! muahahahha...

and i wana go for a pure rock show for once... not just a rock show.. its hard rock/ black metal.. pure headbanging.. till we get whiplash... muahahhah... then also break our necks and spine off.. sccchhhwweettt....

and2 i thoguht bout this.. im stayin up late cause chatting with my friends about folio.. aahajhahaha...

its 138am.. im worried.. but i cant stop typing3.. haiyooo....

eventhough ozzy osbourne says i dont wana stop.. but ozzy.. i have tooo...

malina said its just for tonight... ok2.. just tonight...

tomorrow take it easy.. i'll try...

i want mcd, kfc, laksa, ice kacang, chocolate indulgence, byk g..

ohh.. brains slowing down... moods turning to sleeping mood.. hehhe...

what should i get for fitree???

dang....

pinky yinky...

wake up2, on a sat nite.. could be new york, london, paris, maybe tokyo

theres sth going on anywhere i go!!!

but its tueday early morning.. geezzz...

i wonder how pmr would b like.... nightmare, gore, happy tree friends, saw.. serial killer..

out of ideas d... hheheheh....

blackheads sucks.. frizz sucks.. untamed, unruly hair sucks.. stupid ugly,almost split,problematic hair ends sucks..

aku blurr dah..

yay.. at last.. boley blah...gahgah...

nites..

or mornins..

XOXO

ohh n nacho libre.. bodo gila.. i like2...hahaah

xOXoxxXXXooxxOOOxxxOOOxxxXXXXOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXxxxxoooooOXOXOXOXO

bollocks

why not - hillary duff
wake up - hilary duff
dead and gone - jt
sweet sixteen - hilary duff

haihh.. im wasting time again.. but2
i like it..
i like bloggin
i like ms
i like on9ing
haih...

but to waste time and jeopardise my very own future.. studies..
stupid man..


Obsessive-compulsive disorder

am i one of the candidate ?

foo fighters- learn to fly

aku ni wat cm xdk keja.. padahal belambak..
aku ni wat cm aku ni xpaayah tidor.. padahal kena..

lawa kan pungkoq whitey? stocking malu ja nak show off..

sad suffering
i knew u when
fairwell thee friend of mind
dont u wish u ... the lies..
can u protect
me when im wrecked
ill pretend ur stil alive
i dono d

im my dads personal assistant.. haih... agak susahla..

ok22

so lets talk bout muhd fitree abd malik again..
( sis sed i should, but i think i shouldnt, but im bored )

age 15 ( gonna be this 4th or 3rd of april )
lives at 3/14 donno what number
his bike is yellow
yellow nike watch
dono la
1 older bro n 1 older sis, i younger bro, 1 younger sis
i like his dad..
app i guess very much
the way he is and all
haih.. yeah i like u uncle malik..
and his bro is a madd driver..
madd man...
has red myvi.. ( is this how we spell it.. omg.. idk..mg )
black gen2
black innova i gues.. dk.. but i like.. hehe
i like his bros hair
hahah
his house is neat..
his mums cooking.. layan.. heheh
apa yg aku xlayan tah



n ive been repeatin this
n even wrote it numerous times

ive got a secret
its at the tip of my tongue
and at the back of my lungs
ive got a secret
and i know something that u dont know



and so i made this joke.. its just pure crapp and all.. for fun being dramatic.. normal me when im bored.. so its kinda like often..gahgah..

mum : u didnt leave the exam papers at the lawyers did u?
me : ( the omg face, hands on my face ) ( shrieks ) omg!!! i left it on the table.. ohh no!!!!
mum : ohh gud2..

few moments later...

dad : so u left the papers on the table is it?
me : yeah, on the table..
dad : ( getting the car keys ) ok.. we'll go and get it..
me : ur not gonna slap me ?
dad : no2, not yet..
me : hahahahhaha.... ( i think i will get it one day.. sooner or later.. oh my god )


its 1221.. i didnt do anything..

if only theres no computer... internet..

ill be a genius in no time.. hahahaha.. just books,books,books, all over the house..gahgahh..


and ill be conducting a research about :

- obsessive-compulsive disorder
- home theater, plasma, lcd tv
- fallen angel, lucifer ( i know its bad )
- current issues
- earth hour
- myself


earth hour.. ppl, for one hour on 31st march if im not mistaken, at 8.30pm our malaysian time..if im not mistaken, everyone, hopefully everyone in the world got the message and stop using any electrical appliances or anything that uses electricity for an hour.. i, noor aiman muhd rizal app got interested in it.. i may tell my sis n bro bout it.. hopefully theyll say ok.. and we can go for earth hour!!! im a bit excited.. although ill be sweatin n all.. but its earth hour.. why not??

dude.. going green is the new ppppppiiinnnnnkkkkkkkkk.......


and i just realise.. that.. i may now have more pink shirts then black.. since black is not updated and all.. ohh myy fuckin god nooooo.....

and i wana buy a cap.. and a new short pants.. 2 of em at least.. haishh..

dance,dance - fall out boys

mylove- jt

ohh man.. my guitar...

and whiteys gum.. shit ..

and2 detouch.. n i miss irene..


o hope this will be the last post.. it may be. or may be not.. ishhhh!!!!

not gudd...

another not that interestin part..

dad : i dont know what theyre building at that side.. ( in a very smart way.. )
mum : its a sewage tank..
dad : ohh... ( sounds low ) but its in a very odd shape..
me : hahahahhahahahah....


mum : zzzZZZzzz
dad : im talking to a dead wood
dad : u know it has already been 3 times when i talk to u and when i turn, ur asleep..
me : hahahahahahhahahah.....

dad : - ill shoot that bloody fellow of dead
- if i have a bloody damn lorry, or a damn old car, i'd ram you and bang u out of shape !!
- bloody fool, u go la drive at the left lane
- take so long to go the other side mehh??!!!
- this car shouldnt be on the road !
- how did he get license in the first place ??
- stupidity personified
- u bloody bastard.. u know how to drive or not ??!!
- huhh.. perempuan!.. no wonder !!


and theres much more than that fyi man.. but i cant rmb.. its too much man.. haha..
well hes muhd rizal abdullah or robin rizal tan
my daddy
one of a kind
my one and only daddy
well thats my dad..
( winks )

okeyhh...

if i get back from tuition, its either i get sleepy or tired, or munching on cheewing gum, cant wait to go to the toilet for a pee, crap, emo, disturbed or simply high !!!

so.. today.. its monday.. schools dead!!! ahh heaven man!!!
so i really wish school just vanish into thin air.. but everyone would be apes and all again..
running wildly everywhere, screaming like a jackass, naked, unsexy, crappish..
not good..

i went and crapped, chatted with my cousin at the lawyers office.. for lets see.. 2 hours plus2 maybe.. messaged2.. wanted to 3g with my sis.. msg2.. batt low in the end..
not good..

and my dad bought m&m.. he doesnt buy chocs.. but he did!!!

chelsea smile

i've got a secret
its at the tip of my tongue
and at the back of my lungs and
i've got a secret
and i know something that u dont know..

so u wana know the secret?




well,, its a secret man..

i'll tell you what..

its a secret

bring me the horizon will yeah ??!!

and i may have lost my previous sim card and also c650..
not good..

ohh.. and the guy and the girl..
the feeling comes once in a while..
so its not that tragically serious..
fuuhh.. thank god..
but at times i do wish it really happens tho..
haih...

aiman.. pmr.. folios.. homeworks..

well if i dont believe in him,
why would he believe in me??

get born again - alice in chains
chelsea smile - bring me the horizon
cold - static X
enemy - sevendust
scars of life - purity ( huh, idk who sang it act )
drama queen

twilight
slumdog mill
twilight
queen of the damned
blood and choc
malls..
gurney plaza..
penang!!!
beach..
bitch..

hopes and expectations..

concern..

wretched..

disastrous..

ohh and i just tuned my guitar.. then the maids cleaned up my room..
my guitar was on my bed.. and it sounded like shit again.. so i tried to tune it back.. it sounded like a fuck now.. i just tuned it.. and now.. it just wouldnt work.. fuck!!! haih.. i cant even go out.. ma sis is going to be home end of this month.. can i wait? can she even tune it back again ? i cant go to a shop.. if at all there is..

wings of a chicken..

second heartbeat huh?

and it was written in blood..

goats blood.. hahah..

crap..

i think i want to go back to reality..

where im drowned with homeworks and folios..

and i'll try to swim with the techniques i learned from all teachers..

aku tersenyum pulak dah...

he calls me ai.. and spells my name with noraiman..

so yeah.. im signing off.. back to reality baby..

and. tahla bout this guy and gal.. i just dont know what to do..
it seems meaningless..
pointles..
and no guarantee that its going to happen or work out at all..
in the first place..
bluekk...

sobz... though...

im dragging it..

haih....

touch my hand - david archuleta

tryin to reach out to u
touch my hand
reach out as far as i can
only me,only u, and the band
tryin to reach out to u
touch my hand

XOXO people..

interesting phrases..

mum : dont forget to buy salad.. buy small one..
dad : salad? the round2 one is it?
mum : no, not that one.. the long,small2 ones..
dad : ohh.. that one.. ok2.. ( and when he came home, he bought like this cabbage thingy.. )
mum : ahh.. dont forget to get two carrots..
dad : oh whats the size ?
mum : buy like normal ones..
dad : ohh.. like my size is it?? like my size ahh??
me : yeah like your size.. yeah buy like that..
dad : yeah2.. like my size..
mum : ehhh u dont go and corrupt my daughter!!
dad : ahh like my size.. hahaha ...
me : ma, i dont need to be corrupted anymore.. i am already corrupted..

xmenentu ( slap me n kill me )

okey.. so today.. ok la. xlah emo gila.. xdk emo sgt pun.. gettin my senses and trytin to be normal back again as usual..

pastuh kann..

ada kan..

nampak dia ngn member dia. high sikit dah la kan..

pastuh kan..

chat2 la kan, ym..

pastuh kan..

dia kan..

dia blah..

so...

ehem2..

the skies when darker..

the birds singing flew away..

the flowers wilted and lost its shine..

ohh crapp.. ill cont later..

so...

yeah wen i have my first kiss,, or wen my sis got it.. we must fuckingly surely tell each other. no matter what.. without faill.. its a promise!!!

and i wil actually like anyone right now coz im too high..

fuck.. thats not good..

and yeah ppl

i tragically suddenly like this two people..

a guy

and a girl

this is so wrong..

i told myself.. im not suppose to like him...

and of course... im not suppose to like her too..

why oh why..

in i dont know how many billion people in the world..

i would fall for em...

im sad...

and yet..

my hearts flowering..

with false hopes must be..

as it always be..

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

why oh why???

i hope..

this is just an effect of being extra high. without the help of drugs..

cause if its not..

death shall do me apart..

this person told me that.. why dont i try n kiss her.. and feel how it feels like..

and tell him evrything i feel about him..

u mad ahh dey??? u gila mehhh???

but2....

life only once.. grab the chance.. take risks.. be mad!!! be wild!!! be adventurous!!!

muahahahhahahah...

she said its since january 2009

omg
or maybe once when we first met in 2007

n now

i have tonnes of work to do..

and im crapping bout this..

thats why constant craps..

i should change it to once in a blue moon crap

to prevent me from typing3....

and she said..

i was the 1st malay gal she ever liked...

n ingat lagi!?!??!?!

yeah i ingat..

omg

at times.. she has the urge to drag me to the toilet and kiss me..

and once.. in the car... i had the sudden urge to kiss her.. too..

kesedihan kemelandaan..

aku xxley kuar.. dlm mimpi boley arr..

cycle tuhh nsebb bek ok.. tapi pantang larang n nasihat belungguk gak..

n i like this another gal..

at ttn..

shes hhhoooottttttt!!!

omg!!!

omg!!!

omg!!!

but yest i emo sgt,so even by sitting next to her.. didnt help a tiny iny bit..

didnt even have a conversation.. wel did..

just ask whether u want some dentyne..

fuck..

thats stupidd mann...

but shes just hard to talkt o

to get close too..

maybe cz shes hottttt...

use ur freedom n anything dt u have now ppl!!!

jiwa kelajuan..

jiwan xmenentu..

adakah kerana merindui dia..

adakah kerana ketaidaannya di sampin gku..

( omg.. i started to be jiwang karat and all those shit again )

ok22

so shes like i'll tell u b4 it too late..

we dont know when we r going to die...

so she did..

so im gonna do it..

ehem2..

ok people..

im sorry
i know ive been bad
mean
heartless
self-centered
and all bad things in the world
evntho im only goin to be 15
(im too young too die god,lemme be an aunty 1st at least and hang out with my sis inlaw n talk to her just for once god!! i kinda like her.. eventho i met her once,phone twice )

advertisement : i xpernah kiss orang.. she pon xpernah.. so we xsure sangat.. xpa ahh beb..
we experiment okeyh? mau akk?

see.. ive commited too much sins...
n yet.. i still dont repent (chelsea smile)
my parents want me to be sucessfull, but waht m i doing..
blogging???
yming??!?!?!
oomgg!!!

ma,daddy, ill try my best..

and i know.. my mulut
laser gak la sometimes..

so top it all of..
please forgive me..
if ive done anything wrong or bad to u
hurt ur feelings
slap u
hurt ur pysical,menta,emotion
(im too lazy to make it in proper english )
n its late man..
i suppose to do my work..
but i wana write
and write
and write
and write

and dad.. i so want a touchscreen phone like hell..
and he'll say after pmr.. haiyoo..
ok2.. i'll live with k800i for the moment

so ppl, pls forgive me..
and eventhough i hate u
or dislike u
or sometimes xpuas ati..
deep down under this cute lil gal ( muahahah m mad sorry )
i still love u..
straight from ma heart..

yeah ppl im lost..
dahla miss suma conv..
haih..wat la dey!!

start apa pulak nihh???

walaupun hanya seketika tanpanya..
saya merinduinya..
saya merinduinya..
saya merindui cara dia bercakap..
walaupun dia selalunya agak bodoh and xmasuk akal..
tapi,
dialah saya cari bila saya tension though..

wat mepek pulak

aku rindu sama dia..

walaupun looks xdk langsung..
tah ahh..

babi siyot..
bangang nya bodohh..
apa nk jadik??

so please forgive me
and im sorry

so before i die, ill die with ur faces in my eyes..
as my last memory
before i let my last breath go

hmwrok xterkata nilainya.. plus oral n bm thigy..

n help ma mun..

n dad at times..

byk gila siyot..

pastuh aku nak on myspace g..
pastuh ym g..
chat g..
online g..
pstuh g cm skang nihh
xboley ahh

ni xkata study g
haram siyott..

awat la aku tetiba suka kat dua orangnih..

mcm mana nih??
( garu2 kepala ku yg berbau pantene shampoo smooth n silky n oso conditioner. moisturizer lum g coz xletak g.. )


dreams huh??? keja xsiap.. aku nk bermimpi dah?? biaq btui..

aku akan disembelih ole muhd rizal esok pagi..

mampuss beb!!!

oohh tidakk,,,!!!

kengkadang aku tension, aku cm nk g kat dia ja..

asal tah..

amek drugs kot..

gahgah..

no dad, m clean. look at my eyes!!!

bapak sikit aku tulis ari nih..

byk merepek s usual la kan..

aku membuang sua
dn masih
dn msih
masih menyukai kamu berdua..

yeah pink highlights..heheh..nk gak la kan
:D

kamu rasa
sampai bila pon
xabes aku tulis blog
cz aku dok high nihh..
terlebey pulak tuh..

canna ehh..
next year dia dh abes skola...
walaupun aku xjumpa dia evryday..
but i msg him almost everryday..
nnti dia g u, haihh...
xdklah dia..
sedey..

im mad

smpai esok
xkan abes blog
kena stop nihh..
smpai mati bru stopl la kan

n2..
the guy n the gal i like tu..
no one knows exept dua org..
if i still like both of em till this wed..
illtel who they r

i hope it goes away


n the ym yg aku chat ngn dia tuhh..
dari dia off smpai skang..aku xtutup g
apa kes?!!!

aku xsanggup nk off
hang ni...

aku dgr ayah aku batuk
dia mungkin kuar
mati
bye
xoxo

where did love go?

where did love go?

i wonder..

maybe it flew to the sky..

to be rainbows and butterflies..

for lovers strolling by the park..

or to fill the empty hearts?

that is longing to be blossomed with love..

that is so in need of something fresh..

something that is alive..

that is called love..

where did love go?

i wonder..

did it just stay on some part of the sky..

and look down on people who have just lost it?

and look down on people who yearn for it?

and just look down..

where did love go?

i wonder..

when people really need it..

when people need smiles on their faces..

when everything around them falls apart..

when nothing seems clear anymore..

where did love go?

i wonder..

maybe it has already filled the skies..

maybe it has already filled our hearts..

maybe we are just too blind too notice..

to notice wonderfull things around us..

to notice that it isnt the end of everything..

to notice that theres still love somewhere..

where did love go?

i wonder..

and i still wonder..

and i will never stop to wonder..

where did love go?

crappp..

spread the love,

spread the kisses,

spread your wings.

yes people.. im home... eventhough im suppose to be at school right now.. i was so happy yesterday that i could actually go to scholl.. but dang.. theres that ceramah thigy, then theres scouts.. so no i didnt go.. heheh.. and i was very high last night. maybe hyperactive too.. and i was high eventhough i wasnt on drugs.. well after 1130 i was. so if i was high after that, dont blame me, blame my cough mixture.

so ive been off from school for 3 days already. and if at all there is scouts meeting, this is the 2nd one,and ive missed it. like again. no ididnt miss the 1st one, its i missed the time where we suppose pass up our kk book. so god knows how im going to explain to rofiza about all this.. shit....

so 6 days of lazing.. wasting time.. pure ok.. no not really i did work yesterday.. hehe.. at least..

im out of ideas.. but i was filled with ideas last night when i was high.. what the shit. i should have written it last night. but what the heck.. i dont have a time machine right?

ok2.. this crap.. michelle.. it was a surprise not seeing her around the house compound when i came out. but its ok i thought she was at the back or something.. so suddenly i saw her entering the house through the gap between the gate and the wall. she was biting on something.. i thought it was a featherless baby bird. but guess what? it wasnt anything like that. like at all. she was biting on a red,wilted, hibiscuss flower. huh?

ok.. os im bored.. nobodys online. even ms. yeah everyones at school.hahah. texted sister, she didnt reply.. huhuh.. so im off.. to the real world.. piss out!!

road to recovery

so i didnt go to school on sunday and also today which is tuesday.

my brain wouldnt want to function properly..still..

i cant actually remember lots of stuff.. haha.. seriously..

lets see.. i think i wasnt that okay on sunday.. but bathed the cats.. went to tesco later on.. i guess soo..

monday.. holiday.. bro went home.. uncle and aunty came.. dad went to jb.. yeah sicck againn..

ohh and yeah last night.. i couldnt sleep.. firstly cause my nose was damn blocked.. yeah icouldnt breathe.. but did through my mouth.. then after that.. my nose was ok.. but i still couldnt breathe.. its like the mucus froze and blocked the airway.. and it also froze my brain.. it hurts.. like theres something stuck in my nose and my brain.. then got headache and aches and all.. then i fell asleep.. thank god.. but it was ouch.. then after that i blew my nose too hard.. then something happen to my left ear int he morning..great.. so it was at 6..

then few minutes before 9am... hehe.. thanks guys..it was a wake up call.. i cant recall whose voice actuallyy.. the first call.. but then i heard fitrees laugh,the background.. then second call.. i cant remember la.. i know i heard yashnis..sister yeah then she said ok no money d.. ok bye2.. haha.. and fitree....hahah.. so yeah i was all smiley and all.. thank u guys!! muahx!! hahah... yeah2 so i did talk to fitree after nearly a week.. hehe.. but clearly i was half awake..

smiles2 again..

and smiles2 again.. the offline message.. hehe.. thanks malina.. :D

so i hope i wont be drowned with homeworks..

and my dad said.. i suggest u do some work today.. study at least.. ( o M g )

and i cant taste.. and also smell. i cant even smell the cats shit and pee.. hell...

and taste like its faint.. hmmpphhh...

i'll try to elaborate more if my brain recalls whatever happened.. and if i can also.. and if my brain can actually produce something smart.. i'm really trying.. i hope it can function tomorrow.. yeah people.. im going to school tomorrow after 5 days of resting.. gahgah.. i need my brain back.. and my senses.. im not that ok yet..

0104-ppl im going weird like last time again..

i hope you're ok..

because i know im not..

but i shouldnt be..

n i must not be..

im going down..

over this stupid thing..

i hope you're just playying around..

trying to pull this stupidest trick u can ever make..

theres guilt..

theres hope..

theres sadness..

theres confusion..

i hope you're ok..

i hope whatever happened..

wont bug you..

i may cry..

maybe i just did..

invinsible tears..

deep down in my heart..

crying over..

unwanted things..

pathetic it is..

a waste of time all of this it is..

but..

i dont think i can sleep..

can this end..

soon..

i hope it does..

soon..

as i want sweet dreams..

under the stars..

where the moon hugs me..

keeps me warm..

and accompany me..

and will never leave me alone..

and as the sun rises..

a new day begins..

but shall it be coloured with rainbows..

or distorted by..

many unwanted things..

( ohh fuckk.. yes my writing is not good.. at all. it sucks.. i'll try to improve it.. n btw.. i have lost my mind!! what happened to me? but i may not wanna know. its better not to i think.. )

noooooooooooo............