What would u do

I dont pretty much wna care. Sleep deprivation..? Is thy the word btw..? Hahah. Idc la.

See my pinggang sket blek. Gah. U knw id beg to my prents not to go to schol tmrw. I rather stay a home esp mkngh n pkngh ada n deyl b cooking. Gahhhh....! Xskkkk...! Idw. Dh. Haha.

I mz alwz say tis. Do. Not. Whine. Young. Aiman. Hahahah. N yeah. Perhaps m wishing fr the wrong ting. Come to tink of
it yeah it is true. But then, of coz im wishing of tings that i dnt get or wil never get. Y wud i wish fr tings tht i already hve. Rite. Gah. I wish kan. Xbek2. Hahha. Lifes jz sad.

Sory for bein emo pagi2 buta ni. Sbab aku dh mlaih nk kisah. Mlaih nk fkr.

Esok agma. God willing itl b cool. Sirah ja xcover. Jz a bitttttt ja as usual. Huhu. Phy td ws lke err me jotting down n colouring it. Hahah. Lets seen recap. Speed : distance ovr tym. Velocity : disp over tym. Acc : rate of chnge of vel.

And2 ada lima formula kna igt for uniform acc of linear motion. N i stl don get lke zero vel er wt is it. Errrr like inc vel so acc if decr vel so decelaration wic is negtve acc or rrtardation. N byk g. I dnt get ittrr. N d graphstooo. Gahhhj. I do wish i cn stop ttn tho so then cn stay at home. Gah.

N thwn inertia. Momentum. Inellastic, ellastic n explosion. Force equals to ma. Hahaha and then impulse and impulsive force andds gravity yg aku xtau pa. Gahhhhh. Dh la tu i gz.

Truth is m not sleepy. Perhps i cud lst eveen til four. But id dir tmrw if i do so. Hmph

tis songgg. It cnt get out of my head. Not andai ku tahu oke.

I beter start doing d what to do list for tis june. Must be in thre is wtch muvis. Mndkn kucin. Masak. Study. Err learn a song or two. Abeskn hmwrk jika ada. Errr facial..? Hmphhh. Do not complaint. Ok la tu kot my list.

Ok m bored. Not bored. I hv to sleep. N idl it. I wna study perhas.
~.~

What would you do..?

(=

He used to sing andai ku tahu.
Perhaps the whole song.
:).
I think it was the whole song.
:).
App imy.

Pink

Im a bit happy. Coz at leasttttt d only ting i managed to achieve today eversince i got up is.....

Changing my own toilet seat. Ive only done it wel tis is d second tym. Yes true at last its changed. Two is i still prefet d old one cox thres shells and starfish on it. While now its jz plain smooth pink. Idk y but ifeel lke tkg care of it. Hahah.

Next on thw list wich god willng id achieve is msk ns grg fr ahma. I ws like screamin n saying i want3...! At the kicen wen i heard she wanted it. Hahhaa. And also one more is goin phy ttn tnyt. Dnt ask me why its under d goin to achieve list. Its jz ttn ryt.

I m very lazy. My pinggang n evrtn is sket. At least one pain is gone now. Im in a bad mud evrsncr i got up. Yes ive not been quite a gud gal
to my prents evrsnce i got up. But i paused fr a mo n said i got a fmly to tc of. I got a granma to tske care of. So fuck it faw coz family is first. App evrsnce dt nyt yeah i love em more. N ij prefer to jz stay at home wit em more.

Its raining. I feel its agud tym to study. Agama frst. :).

I m tryin to b a gud gal to my parents. Jz d pain, d huha happend al at d same time. So bad timing.

So yeah.

- peace -

Anddd.....

Huurghhhh.....

Stabilo

How boredom and laziness kills.. - hungriness too... -

and2...

=.=' and then blame me la pulak. Well xla. But hopefully not. How can haih.
Nvm. Again. =.= .... I din hear dat word la kan..

Ok off to sleep. zZz

Earthquakeee..

Yet again. Hellooowww. Its 906pm. What m i doin..? M at the hall sitting on the couch bside my mum n ahma in front wtching a chinese drama. M worried bout ahma. N it kinda freaks me out. U know ibu n ceper dky but m kinda tnkn like ahma n goldfish. Hahaha i knw its absurd but both of em are already old. Thin. And fell sick at the same time. I know for a fact its a pure coincident but yeah. M nuts. Muahahha

I knwwww. M suppose to study but i tell u. Malaih. Hahaha. I knw its d stupidest word everrr.

Letssee. After lunch i TRIED READING AGAMA. half an hour later.....

I was outside sleeping on my couch aka temporary bed. Forrrrrrr almost 3 hrs. Tooottt3. Gah. Then turun2 trus mknnnn. And then ok i haddddd o wter d plants. Haha. N also i ws lke arini ari apa. Then shit sabtu admt! Haha bt decided to cancel coz sha xmai. I din go ttn fr d whole effin weeek la mann. I tgk ahad ni nk p phy. I miss dt tcer coz he lisens to me crappin aka anserin any bulshit i know n i end up luffin. Hahaa. Nak wt cna. Wayar. So i tgk la d road tu yg dlu i alwx cycle. Besss. Angn dia kuat. Sukaa. Miss it. Huhu.

Ok d ting is sdny out of d blue do you stil rmb the lake isle of innisfree..? Ahhaa yeah jauh pemikiran ku. It came tothre. Maybe coz of too much - nature - was surrounding me tadi ann. So itss


 
I WILL arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,  
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;  
Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee,  
      And live alone in the bee-loud glade.  
  
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,          5
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;  
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,  
      And evening full of the linnet's wings.  
  
I will arise and go now, for always night and day  
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;   10
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,  
      I hear it in the deep heart's core.


So dont ask mw y la i wasted my time to copy paste it or to evn bother. Oh3 n lifes brief candle. I tink my dad likes dt. Ge slalu kt full of sound n fury signifying ntg ka..? Ok m too lazy to copy paste. Hahha.

So yeah. I wonder wheres my innisfree.. And wheres urs too. Dont ask me y i sdny thot of that but i did. Yeah awesomely weird. Haha.

I wish. I wish. I wish. I know mlna asked me my bday wish. Wht do u wish for. U knw i never wna care anymore bout wht i wish cz i can guarantee u i wont get it. I dont wna lve in a fairytale tho it makes u hapy. Its jz ugh ya know. So yea wt i wish does not matter cz its nt gons come true and i can keep dreaming once in a while. I know it shows how nt creative i m to dream n too yeah act blive in it. I know its not wrong to dream but its jz sick wen ur not even near it. Huhu.

Alryr. M bored. Haha. Againnnnn. Eatng knda lke nonstop. N ya knoww. D word studying is like constantly stuck on my head. Buttttt...

Am i doin anything...?

HECK NO.

I know t mond ni il surely b like shit i shudve studied. Huhu. =.=' > i used it again. Hahha.

=.= > aiman dah pndai guna. Hahaha

Ok. Its almost 11. I got up an hour ago. Im bores. I know im
suppose to stdy but idk y ij tah. The need of it is not thre aka its jz an excuese fr me
saying that im ultimately lazy. Hahah.

So now i like to lie down on d couch n jz play with gideon. Its nice coz im at least downstairs n not upstairs.

Mmmmm... Oh yea raudha n raf xblek. Huhu. Next tym2. :)

Wey. Nak keluar. Haha. Please oh please cutiii niiiiii.

Ok. M boreddddd. Idk wt to dooo.

I knowwww.

I should study.

But gahhhh.

Did i twl u. Haha wen i saw norliahs twin kissing her bfre going to scholl one morning, it made me smile. :)

n btw. The smile song by uncle kraker i knwwwww lgu tu dah berkurun but u knw me kan. Its awesomeeee....!

And. I want. A. Piaaaa noooo. Haha.

And ok gain im boreddd.

I have to do sthhhh......

shopping - online - money - lets grow taller.. hahha

its 947pm. im home alone with ahma. yeah i can handle it. nothings happening. my bro hozair and kak noran balek jap. but theyre out. n my parents n pak ngah kluar late night baru blek. huhu

I WNA go out !!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so bored. one. two is i wana watch shrekkkk !!!!! and i wna buy bajuuuuu.... shoesssss..... - converse oke - and errrrr ahhh a baggggg.... so i was so desperate just now that i googled - oh yes im trying to benefit google - and typed online shopping in malaysia. so went to this one web. u know whattt... i want ittttttt !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its not so expensive. but yes not branded but it looks pretty and cute and affordable so why not. branded is with my mum. hahah. i wnt itttttttttt ! gah. idk what is wrong with me btw. and oh yeah. i wna go to penanggggggggg !!!!!!!!!!!! m suppose to get crocssss !!!!!!!!!!!!!! rarrrrr !

- btw m chatting at fb. hee. -

and yeah. the whole day i didnt touch d book yeah -d book - haihhhhyoooo ! and wey i think i have to jog. but im soo ultimately lazy. so yeah whateverrrr...

alright. so this. ehem2.


A matured, well educated, family man will find the best out of the best woman to marry with. So then she can be a good wife to him, a good mother for his children, someone who can look after the family and the list goes on.


so yeah there u have it. hahaha. so that was what i learned from abg hoz and kak noran. which yeah its true. it came aobut coz norlis matter. it all happened after the abang tajul tingy2. which i never knew and i was like yeahhh it makes sense.


wey. m suppose to study. hahahah


alright. lets talk about what happened last week. :) yeah last friday. friday night to be exact. :) ok :) hahahha
- 21.05.10-

it just well changed me. ive been a very good girl. hhaha well faw til sunday. that pun i shudnt have been that way coz there was a reason why my dad yelled. which have i ever thought why he yelled at me instead of just my dad just yelled at me ! see being selfish again right. always thinking of what i feel but not the other side. but at times doesnt mean i have to be this way al the time. i prefer it to work more and at times only for my parents. u know eversince that night, i prefer yeaa - i know u cant believe ur eyes rite now, esp tis ting is coming out from me - yeah prefer being around with my parents more. sometimes way more than being at school around ppl - it stresses me out sometimes. hahaha - i just like it. sitting with em. having dinner with em. and i do talk to em.

esp the next morning tu. :) my mum called me while i was brushin my teeth. i tot wattt.. actually ada ulat from the sayur tu. u know how i freaked out after the maggot incident. hahaha. so i sat there with mum trying to uncurl it back. ahahah i know its ridiculous but tah. hahaha. i dont normally do that okeee. and i talked to her la not say talked just told her what happend the night before. and she was like yeaa :). n m so :D ! yeahhh ! hahah

its so hard btw to stay so al positive and optimistic al the time. i tell u i cant. hahah. but im trying. well not now dah. the errr idk what we call it is gone. so i just plan to eat and sleep alot. :) weheeee.. and yeah icecream, choco n cakes !

so yeah ijust feel good and yeah happy :) sitting around with em. sometimes it does drive me nuts. but come on. come to think of it. u must yeah must appreciate em now. esp me coz my parents are not so young anymore. so what if they are old la, they are stil my parents. tho sometimes i feel angry and say why are they so old. ahahha. esp dad. at least i do have a dad. what if one day they are gone. and yes for surely ill regret not spending time with em. not hugging em. and all those. so what if they suck. what if they are not as perfect as others like eg my friends parents. well i guess they r luckier and m lucky coz at leasttt i do have parents, still with me, still alive and living their life. :)

talking bout family at times and being lonely issues. well they are kinda sensitive. hahaha. yeah a girl like me can stil cry ok btw. im pretty much at times botherd by it. but i try not to. lets appreciate things and live with it. i know sometimes i talk as if my life is like a dick. ahahhaha. dont ask me y i said that. its not actually. maybe thats my problem. i always want things to be so perfect. to be like how i wanted. and of coz i wont coz it will never b. nothing isss purrfectttt.. and padahal others i mean other ppls life are not even close compared to mine. do they whine ? thats on emore prob. i whine alot. coz in pg i never go thru al this and here i have to go thru al this, that is why i whine. coz im problemless there. everything is well and taken care of. but not here. gah. what to do. live with it.

i wish at that night, i wish im in that moment alll thetimeee... coz its the bestest thing ever. :) well i know for now. ahahha. u know, reminds me of homer, marge was like this is the bestest kiss ever, homer was like ok i forgot. ahahha it was somesort like he said the bestest kiss ever for now.

and how im attached to syahmi and naim. i tell em all this. well yeah i told em bout tis except the part how la. - OMG VIVALDI DAH SIAP DL !!!!!!!!!!!! - normaly id just heret a kerusi or just sit on the floor between em or bside naim and just talk2. we exchange thots and tis and that. even sth hapen to naim. he suddenly hugged his dad that night and became a very responsible big bro. hahaha.

- oh wey. yesterday was my bday. :) only one person wished me. hhuhu. n tis reminds me. yueah i did have choc indulgnce. :) and the sweetest thing ever is diz person ltak tgn dia cm as if dia pegang cake. and that person was like tiup la. m like haihhh melts. hahahaha. and i did and that person clapped. tah i know its lke ridiculous just that no one has ever done that to me.. hehehe..

oh yes oh yes oh yes. x study la aku. raudha n rafael are also coming backkkk ! and there is no place to sleep. my room is alrdy occupied by hoz and kak noran. raudhas room with pakngah n yes mine is outside at the hall on the couch. and so depa balek and so we can camp outside ! weeeee ! :D !

i just did the who loves u, miss u, and the love test. weird results i got. hahaha.

ok act ada byk nk dikatakan but i stopped halfway coz dpa balek da. m wtching a chnse muvi. n yeah. leme be tis way faw. huhu

n m hungryyyyyyy !

ok wey im freakingly bored. hahahaha.

How can i make the world a better place ?

u can call me insane now.

m downloading yeah vivaldi of course.

and and.....

mozart...

and and...

beethoven..

- the end -

=D... No words can describe it... Heee... =D

Thanks for making me feel horrible faw at that mo.. =)

Read between the lines.

So its 917am. Excuese d spelling cz its on gideon. I refuseee to touch. Lapy cz trust me from xdk
keja jadi ada kja ja aku dok dpan tu. Yes im home alne. Br abeh mnd dgn rmbut yg sgt basah m jz lieing dwn. I knw m nt supose to di dt. Anywysss. Hahah

i act do wna blog evrydy. I do feel lke it. But then i say xyh a so i din. Hari koko was ok la. I knw ive had btr ones. Gah. Anywyss. Cg suhaimi. Yes m glad to say tht i managd to tlk to him rho i dnt und a ting n i kept on smiling n laughing n sayin wtf. Hahah. So ues d ultmte qs dt i alwz hv in my mind n i askd. Mcm mna cg bole brsmgt. I frgt d he kt ps. Haha. Its like u give ur best to ur work, ur school. Its nt dt ur gona rugi anytin or wt. Jz do ur best stkt yg mmpu. N apa th uneed to have a standard to achieve. Eg aft the show, he yes he sniri pegi susub meja kerusi buang smph. Wel me n adm helped out. Again m sory adm cox of me u got into tis. But i liked it. I jz had fun i gz. Haha. Hey ay least i ws smiling. So yeah he kena kmas suma. Ive nvr seen la cg yg wt cmtu. N he said if nk wt keja kita buat. Jgn buat krna nk dipuji. Cz stni klo org xpuji kta xsyok lak. Wt ngn ikhlas la. So yeah we lft d dwan wit yeah dgn keadaan yg brsh. I kept syin to him sy xphm. Hahaha. I jz dont get u. Hw u cn b diz way. Tink diz way. Alwz hapy. Alwz brsmgt. Energetic. I dnt get t! N i donttink i wil ever wil gahh. N he did say u hv to b diff frm othrs. N m lke if kta laen nnti org usha kita pelik. N hes lke kalo bkn mereka yg nk tgk kita spa lagi. M like waaa. Yeag dtz tru. N yes he did realize m a mixture. Wish i suka. Hahaha. Hes mum is a chnse. Cool. I jz dont get him

Oprah is gudddd. Hahah. Ok so dix stry bout tis woman kna attck by a chimp. My man. Muka dia mmg disfigured glaaa la. Bt stl she goes on no mtr wt. N oprh said so rte nw ur face is broadcasted thruout the whle world. Ru worried bout w they r gona tink or say. She says im the one with this face. M the one living with ths face. M lke waaa. Hahah. Tht is cool. N smtymd se feels nt ok la gettin up in the mrng n al bt stl she does force hrslf to get up n walk n live her life despite bein sick n her face. Hw cool is dt riteee.

Yeah tlkg bout complainin n diz xkna dt xkna. Lets lokk at d briter sde instead. I kns al u cb see is darkness. Black. Bt rmb thres alwiz blck b wite. So tke d wite. I usd to stick to dt blck n wite ting. Ahha.

Ok. Wt mrs lim said. Shes like two houses away nya neigh. Shes realyyyyy nce. Shes a staff nurse. Ok evn dlu yg my mum msok hosp gak she lah yg tman hug me bwk me hre thre n al n said evrtns gons b ok. Ok i love hrr. Hahah. So i yeah confessed? Tellin her evrytyn wen my mum falls sick il bcme angry. Nt to my mum cox bknnnya she yg mnx nk jato sket jx dt m d ony one left hre to handle tings alone. I knw my dad ada tp stl suma aiman3. Ij dnt lke tht. I atleast wish to atleast hv someone with me so then m nt al
alone. So later on we sat dwn n then she told me. Thres a chinese saying ( i act xbp igt shr kt pa but thr points adala ) wen u walk along the road. Wen u meet a bridge thre must b a strait road ahead. Even lter ur road bengkok n wtnot bt at some point or plg trok at the end of d road surely thres a strait road. So it means its ok u hv probs. B calm n fce it. Nk wt cna. Dh bnda jd. We dont ask fr it n expct it. So wen d prob comes u must think n face it. She said u wlk thru the problem. And then she said dnt show ur tantrums. Heheehe. M lke yeah with a hugr smle. Hahah. N then i did say to her m worid la. So much tht i realy cnt wsit to get out of hre m stl worid hus gna b at hme. Since dey cnt stop aiman-ing. Hahaha. So she said u hv a life, a future ahead of u. She did say history pa bnds i xtau. Ahh they - yg sdh brumur- look at d past the history. But us. No. We have a life a future ahead of us. They al one day wil go but not us.she said u br js nk climb d hill. Br ja nk mula. So i must nt wry. Dnt let al of tis stop my life. Tings mz go on lke how t does. Wen u hv probs u try to tackle it.i lke dt. Haha. N yeag me leavn tu i hv to go. Mayb dady akn pangge someone to stay kanpa. She said wen the time comes, when thres a necessty, then ul strt to tink n work it out. Wic is yeah tru. So she said dn let al tis hinder u frm doing tings dt you wnt. N stdy hard d only way to repay ur prens iss by mkng them proud. Wic is by achieving sth. B sccsful. B someone. Coz mmg dpa dh achive tings on their own. Bt thet r not so proud. Its lke biasa ja. Bt f we are d ones hu dpt achive sth yes dey r vry proud.

So yeah. Truth is ari rabu tu i stdy cz earlier dt nyt otw p ttn dad tnya g my results. Hahah. At last i told himmla. Act wn i got d slip i laughed. Hahaa. N hes lke yeah dyz gud. Keep it up. Stdy la diz tym. The dtz gud, keep it up made me brsmgt. Haha. I kne i cn do wayyy btr if ony i studied. Tp yeah mmg la sgt liat. So i need thse. Nw lak yeah m suppose to stdy. I fkr2 nk rugi pa stdy. Nk rugi pa trpening smpai trmunth stdy. Nk rugi pa xpgg phne sms 6 jam. Bkknnya xle sms da. Bknnya xle wt pa dh. Midyear skli ni ja. Eithr youdo well, so2 or not at al. Xrugi yeah we call it waste our tym jap to stdy. U wil get tht time beck in the fture. Wen y fnlly get ur pay n u cn jz do anytn y want. P jolly suma. N yrs bttr then nw cz nw xkja g. Haha

so wt evr mrslim said. d prt u hv yr own life n future. I sdnly felt dang m a big gal. I cnt b lke u knw i mean manja2 suma. kna indepndntn Dh bsaw dh. It freaks me out.Nt mnja la jz to think on yr own n al dt. Lke bsaq dhla. Hahah. Tho idt i mnja cm tu to my prents rxcpt smtyms dady so mcm tu la. N she did also say u must learn hw ti cook n m lke heh. Ok. God willing jun hols ni i wil k. Nk msk lunch fr once without mums help. I mean jz let me do evrtn on my own.

Idk hw ppl cn stay al pstve al d tym. I mnged bt nt for lg. Til sth la. Haha i ws jz quite disappontd ovr tis two. Bt thse two ada mslh gk. Tp haih. Xplah. Ive done wrong tings too. So it does nt mtter. Wt cmes aroun goes aroun. N i rwalyyyyyy cn see hu i cn count on. Dpa dua ni gak. :). Thres lke four diff persns k hu ive jz mentioned. :). I love u guys. Tq. So lpaih2 tu mmg aku mlaih dhla nk fkr + so jz msok keta ngn xmnd xmkn jz headbg. Theb tdow.

Ermmm. School a ok la. Rhat ni xcpt for tues or wed i gz ja o cnteen. The rest nk stdy. So jgn ganggu me. N pls. I knw m hvg a gideon bt ts my hndphne. Respct my privcy. Its stl my fckn phne! Stni mmg stu ari mmg aku melenting kt sorg ni. Mmgnla iphone tp stl myyyyy hndphne. Gahh. Fr nw i jz sbq ckp xplh its ok n al. Ada one tyn stni tunggu la. Haiyo. Idky m stl wit dt prson. I knw fr a fact uf i break it off m ny gonaloose anytn. Mayb il gain mre pun. Bt for a fact i tau org tu xdk spa da n dt dia pna tlg me so aku kt xpa. Hang on.

Ok dh. Is it lg enuf? Hahha

ok. Studyyyy.

Gahhh

the world is a vampire

old time rock n roll

i know2.. dua minggu g nk mid year.. grrrr

mlaih thp cipan nk study broo !!!

anywys.. highlites.. m so hepy.. hahaha.. ok so i went joggin.. to the gym. then went for a dip. wanted to go to d small pool tp ada budak tu so p la deep nya. f man ! it was freakin tempting la dey. so dok fikir bykkkk kli gk la. bt m like alah come on juz go in. n i did ! :D hahahah.. dgn tracksuit n tshirt n brnang2. no xdpt brnang sgt coz xdk goggles. so jz maen2 float on my back mcm tu ja. but man how i wish i cud jz b in the wter the wholeeee timeeeee... n yeah my gate nya remote control rosak.. ahahhah.. i know. u can call me mad now. idc !

m getin bored with songs. i mean adtr is so long pmr. bmth is zmn mula2 dulu. annotation of an autopsy is mad. hahahaa. i cnt bliv azim is listening to it. meanin he dh smpai thp slipknot bye2. like he needs to lyn like carnifex all those yg sgt gila smpai apa dpa ckp pun xphm. me not yet. im stil like bmth heaven shall burn. i tink i willl come to a point where yea adtr bmth suma tu is not loud enuf. yeah it knda like builds up ya know.. freaky i know. n i wtch tis from xtau la spa just the moral of the story is dont do plastic surgery esp on ur fce. hahaha. just that d minah ni lawa da then nk p wt surgery so the mamat potong her tlinga la jahit2 her muka. it ws awesome !

i miss hannibal lecter. anthony hopkins. errr i miss gore movies !

i miss paul rudd... errr lagi spa a.. tu ja kot..

tokio hotel is knda cool.

my dad nk p au g next year. geezzz... dia ckp ja tu. jz dt jomla p somewhere elseeee......

chuzzle sukaaaa !

u know.. haisyoo.. nvm la dey.......

ok dh xdk mooddd..

thank u la..

i find it very dreadful to go to school. hahahha.. ive been tlking to mum bout home school like byk kli gak..hahaha.. in my dreams i knoww..


SICK ASS ! ! !


- i love swimming. il swim next week. :) -

\ m / ! ! Im on the highway to hell ! ! \ m /