Alexis Georgoulis

aaaarghhh ! sukaa..... xtau la psepa suka tpi suka. haha. ok la fine rmbut dia pnjg n messy n dia bermisai pa bnda and xhandsome tpi aku sukaa. haha

I really hate goodbyes. Be it with people whom im attached to, ok, that makes it worse, its worse when i have to say goodbye to the ones im attached to. Or be it with ppl whom ive talked to or have thought me sth. Im just really bad in goodbyes.

N im not gona like tmrw. =(

Short discourse about financial planning with Mr. Robin.

yeap, talking over lunch about financial, i was like okeeeh, cool. that knocked some sense out of my head n yea opened my mind for a mo.

ok firstly. money talk. seriously, who am i to say all this. hahaha. i only have 3 bux left since two weeks ago ? yeah greattt. ok so the thing is, save money dri kcik ( hahahahah, yeaaaa, im listening) for example, keta la, i know2 i dok nak myvi n oh mi gat jap ja lagi i ley blajar bwk keta dah, ok y myvi, y not viva. okeh ja pon. n viva lgiii cheaper than myvi n anyways its not that im gona get a new car pon. haha. the thing is, be it any car, even a horse, ur still gona reach from A to B. u will reach B in whatever mode of transportation u choose, even ur own two legs. so save la duet di situ, n all the fundamentals or whatsoever calculation of compound interest which is reallyyy goood act.

so ok la, this goes for me when i go shopping. ha ha ? yea ha ha. ok fine shoes is exceptional sbab ok fine im picky in everythingggg but shoes tu very exceptional la sbb susah kan. bju, cardi. ok satu, nk beli cardi mahal tu i kena tunggu pg bru bole p beli. bila taun xtau la. so i got myself, cheap and not branded cardis which i think ok la sbb if mahal, i akn syg, when i syg, i wont pkai slalu which cardi i kena la pkai slalu. sooo i hope its cooll.

so thats y ppl ckp, bersusah dahulu, bersenang2 kemudian. ok fine i lupa peribahasa tu. haha. live in moderate, be aware that u have to feed yourself in years to come, like it or not, or take it as drive small cars first, when u grow older n have more money, u can buy a bus if u want to.

pehtu yeaaaa, ok la, ini random oke. ada la dia nih, ok jap. best thing to do.

1. boobyy talk with gfs. hhahahah ! no la ok topic2 yg agk related dgn boobies. haha

2. being ($#(%)-less at school is omg so nice. u feel so ' free '. but mind u, this act is very the very so not advisable. u can only do it under some conditions such as ur gf mmg jnih gla n xkisah, n cover la n the list goes on. the thing is, jgn buat, xbaek. haha !

3. dont talk blue with ur other guy friends.. buttttt, under some conditions, u are allowed. it all depends.

ok so the thing is, ada la an p ckp blue ngn someone ni semua. ok xpala. pstu ada sorg ni mrah. ok fine, u have the rights nk mrah, i think i pun mrah, tp i mmg dok mrh pun sbb u mmg xptot p ckp dgn org tu, u ptot p ckp dgn org ni. tpiiii, anyways la mula2 u cuba fkir. dia blue psai pa ? spa yg bg dia blue ? spaa yg start dlu blue ? n lgi stu, sapaaaa lgi open minded ? member tu ka hang ? so lets answer one by one. dia blue sbb hang jgak. hang yg open topic tu. tp kdg2 hang xdk kat situ utk ckp, n hang xse-cool member sorg ni yg mmg lah stai n so cool n so open. n ang kena paham, minah tu mmg jnih mcm tu. dia mmg open. sory la ang xsuka ka apa tpi itu lumrah hidup, suma org mmg mcm tu, its a normal thing tmbh2 kita dh 17, otak kita berkembang, its either dia akan open ka x ka or dia dok pendam n cover mcm hang. aku rasa bek kita open dripda pendam, tau dak bahaya. dgn gf dia suma pun open. gf2 dia pon open. ok lagi peramah, n open. n member tu plak mmg la suma org suka. member tu jnih suma org suka nya. sory la to bad byk org xsuka dkat u. aku rasa mcm nk p dkat ang n p mrah ang ja, dh la wt bnda xptot, lpas tu bg minah ni tension. ang ni bodoh ka pa. seriously. ang xtau ka hidup dia dh ckup msalah, pelbagai msalah dia ada, satu per satu dugaan dia trpksa lalui, hang xpayah la nk p tmbh lagi. sbg bf, even bkan bf la, sbg seorg kawan, cnt u be more helpful and understanding. yea aku phm slama ni mmg ang understanding, tmbh2 sejak kebelkgn ini pon ang tlg dia suma. tpiii, come on la wey. relaks ckit. cuba dgr penjelasan dia. yea she screwed up, i know, even u did, she xkata apa pon, she still go on with u, everyone screws things up, kenapa nk bebai2 over n bg minah ni tension. ang xpkiaq ka. yea ang pnat, ang mau tau dak, minah tu lgi penat dgn hidup dia. xle nk fkr ? she ada sbb she buat mcm tu, yea, mmg xptot, i know, but come on, give it a break, ckit2 sudah. ang xle trma dia, pih crik gf len yg jnih mau layan prngai ang, bkan tu ja, yg mmg suit ang, yg aku xtaula jenih mcm mna ang mau. u want jnih A tpi u nk jenih A tu jadi opposite dri jenih A pehtu ang bsing sbb dia bkan mcm jenih A. pa cer. gosh.

n ok fine. study. im ok la with it. ^_^.

u know, i have a good feeling about all this. =)

dah, puas saya lpaskan persaan. jgn tnya. thanks.

My godddd. Memalukan gilaaa. Haha

Shitttt. Hahaha. Agak kantoi. I ws just asking, an honest qs, pehtu terkena mcm tu. Adoiiii. Hahahah

I wanna talk to you
{The last time we talked Mr. Smith you reduced me to tears
I promise you that won't happen again}

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty? Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

Yeah, I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I tried a little Freddie
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown, I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful, I could be purple
I could be anything you like

Gotta be green, gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!

{Getting angry doesn't solve anything}

How can I help it? How can I help it?
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby, hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink

Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on your shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I tried a little Freddie
I've gone identity mad!

I could be brown, I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful, I could be purple
I could be anything you like

Gotta be green, gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself, hey!
But you only want what everybody else
Says you should want, you should want

I could be brown, I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful, I could be purple
I could be anything you like

Gotta be green, gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Walk out the door!

I could be brown, I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful, I could be purple
I could be anything you like

Gotta be green, gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Walk out the door!

ZZzzzZZZzzz

hungry. in need of proper, not edible food that can be swallowed and digested but in need of proper, simple food that can be accepted by a normal human beings brain. yes brain, note that. in need of a bath. in need to be fresh. brain dead. tormented. in need of super powers. in need of a time travel machine. in need of a machine that can freeze time. in need of more hours in the 24 hours. in need of strength, patience, courage. in need of positive air. i want to be a warrior.

i

fell

in

love

with

her

.

The opportunity to see a boy transforming into a man.

And i like it. And i just dont know how to express it.

British accent ! gosh ! heartt !

I want a tuned guitar, thanks.

WHY BOTHER ? QUIT IT !

I am a bit upset by the situation bcuz its sth that i cannot do anything about and at times it bothers me butttt every problem has it solution. so not to worry. and wat trok boleee. lek aaa. its not the end of the world. =)

I am not asking for much.

Fine. ok, its ok if you dont like it, its ok if u even hate it. trust me, i dont care and i dont give a damn whether u like it or not. as long as he is fine with it, n not only that, he is supporting it, thank God, i really just dont give a damn. im not going to ask u to love it, im not even going to ask u to like it, all im asking u is just to be ok with it. xpa, xmo support xpa, its fine, i know what im doing, if ur not much of a help and wouldnt want to help, xpa, byk org lagi dkat luar yg boleh saya ckp n mnx tlg. just, pls be ok with it. ni idk whether its just me or what but i think its reall la sebab hari2 laen xpnah pun nk bebai pagi2, nk mrh2, i balek2 rmah pun first thing i hear is like that. xpnah la nk tunjuk xpuas hati yang tang mana pun xtau la. yea mmg saya buat muka sbb saya penat n upset and uptight sgt n tension sgt tp kena ka mcm tu. saya buat muka sebab saya balek2 saya still tgk benda yg sma. saya just mnx tlg buat benda tu ja. xdak apa pon. kalau bkan time2 ni pun haih saya xtau la nk kata cna. kena sampai saya buat muka n nk gadoh ka bru nk buat bnda tu ? apa susah sgt ? kalau xreti, fine, xpa, blajar la. setua mana pun kamu, its nver late to learn. be it from ur mistakes or new things or things where u should know how to do as a normal human being. kalau xdak masa, jgn merapu, saya boleh buat dlm masa dua jam, cant u ? nk harapkan saya jgak ka buat ? sampai bila nk harapkan saya buat benda yang mmg kamu perlu dan mampu buat sendiri ? nnti saya buat gadoh pulak lagi. apa nk jadi pun saya xtau. xpuaih ati ka x suka awat xmai ckp dpan2 n talk. xpayah la dok torment hati n jiwa saya. saya cukup xsuka. yea, mmg, benda kecik ja, kenapa nk dibesarkan, tp masalahnya, benda ni mmg xptot jadi pun. n idk how la nk buat dgn bnda ni. nnti cakap gadoh la lagi. suma akn end up mcm tu. great la. sampai kat penang nnti sama la jgak. haiyo. mcm mana satg aku nak jadi bini org aku xtau la.

I know, this isn't much,
but I know, I could,
I could be better.
I dont think i deserve it, selflessness.

All stars could be brighter. All hearts could be warmer.

Louder than thunder.

why. just why oh why. can somebody answer me.

give me a breakkkkk. baru la aku pegang laptop dh nk bisinggg. i did two hours of addmathss. n holding my puke out. give me some credit. haha

CATWOMAN.

thats the only logical thing that i have in my head right now. great.

breathe in n out...juz relax~ huhhh.....

yeaaap. eventho i feel like throwing up so bad and my head is spinning.

Wuuuu. Xku sangka akan aku dpt msg sebegitu di inbox fb aku. Hahah

Pina Colada.

yeapp. masok2 keta my mums like waaa, u look so ceria.

yeap, ive found the word. that has been right in front of my god damn eyes for all this while.



WHY BOTHER ? QUIT IT !


no, like seriously, why bother ? quit it la. note to myself. awat yang dok wat trok sgt. yea, mmg seksa p skola tiap2 hari. bgn awai pagi, everyday byk aktiviti, ttn tiap2 mlm. mmg bosan, mmg boring, mmg seksa. dok tiap2 hari ulang bnda sma. esp bila otak kamu xdak dkat situ tpi jasad kamu ada kat situ n kena tunggu for two periods of agama to finish and then bare with sej for a period where the teacher cannot stop blabbing about nothing else but sejarah. awat ? trok sgt ka ? susah sgt ka ?

dak. pehtu psepa yg dok wat trok sgt. otak tuhan bgi boleh pikiaq, ada akal yg sempurna. badan sempurna n sihat. duet belambak, makanan berterabuq smpai mkn jdi gemok. yea too much fatty acid. xcukup pa g. duet ada, mak pak ada, skola ada, adek badek ada, bdak2 len mknan pun xdk, rumah pun xdak, skolah pon xdk. dpa x berpeluang utk dpt ilmu n blajaq mcm kita.

nih xlupa kpada kwn2 yg tersyg yg sgt best n awesome. yg hang boleh dok menggila, dok merapu, dok melayan, dok melawak, dok sembang, dok mnx nsihat, dok tmpat hang mengadu. nak apa lgi ? awat, xcukup g ka ?

nih paling penting parents yg tiap2 hari bgn, gerak kita, siap mknan, bg duet, hntq p skola, doa kat kita, amek dr skola, bg mkn lagi, hntq p ttn, bg mkn lagi. n bg moral support, always there fr u, nver leaving u alone, bg nsihat slalu, support, motivate, spend time to listen to ur immatured bragging about ur oh so pathetic life padahal liife yang lgsg x bersyukur dgn apa yg dh ada. teenage life la tu, sng kira. meh hbq, xckup pa g. yea mmg kdag2 dpa beletiaq, ang bygkn la, kita jd depa, mampuih, aku sniri xsggup nk pikul tggungjwb sebesaq tu.well for me la. pemikiran aku xsmpai tahap tu lagi. igt sng ka nk jdi parents. dak, xsenang. dpa pun manusia biasa. tdoq pun kna mcm kita. rhat pun kna mcm kita. n hidup dpa sma mcm kita, ada 24 jam ja.

paih tu satu g, kita minx tolong, mnx suma well goes to me la, i mnx suma dpt, tp dpa mnx tlg ckit bila i ada free time i bising. i sgt lah jhat. i should be more patient, understanding and considerate. stop being such a teenager. hahha. pls be a matured 17 year old lady.


WAKING UP. yeappp, skrg agak kronik since aku xdk member yang boleh membetulkan aku if aku gila kat skola. skg kami dua2 dok gila. n some epiphany hit me god damn hard on my head and face. it was all after recess. and idk wth i did la after recess tu. agk gila la. psepa tu aku xtau la. nk gila n desperate gak la smpai kna wat cmtu. gosh ! n its not good n i know i shouldnt do that.

tahun ni nk spm. aku kena sedar. tlg la ckit. bila nk serious. yea nk men2 pon bole tp at least half serious half maen2. plgggg trok a. ni x, 3/4 maen, xsmpai 1/4 serious. stg bsaq ang nk mkn rumput ka ? i have to focus. i keep falling in, and falling out and it goes on and on and on. this is when we say, constant motivation, patience, being there when in need. kena sma2 stay together, hold on together, n support each other.

and be aware that ur life is ur life. u ada hak. bcuz its ur life. take control of ur life. u are able to do things that u want. n if u want sth, go for it. i know what i want. i want good results for spm la. i know i can do it. jz kdg2 aku ni ghalit pehtu terpesong p mana hala aku xtau. so i need to stay on track. but i want it to be fun at the same time. nothing is stopping u from getting what u want.

and at some time, some point, if its not going to be ok, i cannot help it. i have to let it go. i dont mean to be selfish, but think about it. its true. but mean.

i am trying hard. well not reallll hard act but i can see myself trying hard as time goes by. i may be crawling on all fours, struggling for all this, and at snails pace, and i really dont know how to go about it or how to handle it. it worries me ok. its not a burden at all to me and i dont think of it that way, instead i take it as a responsibility that i have to do. butttt, i know i can do this, its just i keep on bragging about it. why brag ? i know i can do it, so why bother ? quit it. u can do it too. prove it.

hidup ni mmg xbek emo2. haha. so kenala ceria slalu. utk diri sendiri, utk hidup dn kesihatan sndri, utk parents, dn utk org2 yang tersayang.

^_^

>_<

How did you make me feel that way ?

I think I am with the right one, just like how I wanted it to be. recently. To care, to correct, to help, to save, to protect, to bother, to treat. I just never thought its so real and its really happening to me. Why did I do this ? What have I gotten myself into ? Why ? What have I done ?

* aiman when she is in her study mood * aiman do this, aiman do that. Aiman go here, aiman go there.

* aiman when she is NOT in her study mood * ~~~~~~~~~~~ nothing, nada, nobody told her to do or go anywhere.

Apa niiii. Serious aku menyesal gla xp skola. At least klo p msti dpt bljar sth, n at least aku dpt study ckit n at least stg hmwrk aku x bertimbun.

Nixpsai2 xdpt apa pon. Pkiaq pa. Aku sja ja ka xmo p skola. Ya aku mmg xska p skola tp igt pa. Aku sja ja la dok umh rini sbb nk nganga n goyang kaki n tgk tv. Leklok ckt. At least my aim fr today is four hrs of solid studying. Ni stgh jam pon xdk. Apa pon xdk. F la. Ya aku bebai sbb one dy rugi mcm tu ja. Bebai sbb psepa la plan aku xjdi. Susah sgt ka nk tinggai aku sorg2. N bkan aku nk wtpa, aku jz study dgn aman sbb aku mmg nk study.

Tlg la. Stop depending on me so much. Bnda yg bole wt sniri sila la wt sniri. Xkn smpai bila2 dok aimannn3, dok heret p sana sini. Jz bcuz aku dpt one day off from school, mcm ni la kna jadi. Haish!! Whateverr laa.

Adoi. I think i should have gone to school. Aku down smcm dri smalam lagi. Suma mcm xkena. Ni ada sth ni.

What. Have. I. Done.

Reality check

ive never heard such a thing before coming out from a guy.

I feel relieved. Thank u. =) i really appreciate it.

AND YEAH, before i forget, what the fuck ?

I lOVE MUHAMMAD RIZAL AND SITI HINDON SO MUCH !

yeappp. mid years coming. n i am pertyyy sleepy n tired rite now n i have another longggg day to go tomorrow. i am trying to stay positive but i am just to tired rite now. il work on that tomorrow.make much out of anything good. so im not going to try to study mlm ni sbb otak dah jam n i need to sleep before i fall sick again. so yeah, lets hope tomorrow goes well and the rest of it. i just can wait for thursday. ^_^ and find as much time to cram in facts and study.

at leastt ttheres sth to look forward for.

everyday is gift.

keep it together people.

Thank you, Daddy.

Eventho he made the wtf face when i said the statement out loud and i replied with the wtf its true face. Haha.

All in all, thank u for being the coolest daddy ever. Just thank u. N i know theres no way for me to repay you.

Hot Sex !

hahah. before i forget. why am i writing this down ? bcuz its sth that i wont forget for quite a while. hahah

i mean it was hot, and it was burning. haha.

ok la ok. the thing is, ive never thought someone and especially thatt someone would come to me and tell me about mimpi dia. i mean share the mimpi. dh la detail pulak tu, well mayb x la detail sgt tpi for me ckup detail la tu. haha. i was like omg haha ur kidding meeee !!!!

seriously, mcm gila. haha. aku bole jdi gila sehari klo dpt mimpi mcm tu, oh wait, i pnah, n iwas crazy and everybody freaked out and kept a distance away from me. hahaha !

Better off more than you know.

macam chi baiii.

tu ja aku bole kata. sorry. haha. ^_^

yeapp. lets keep it together people.

i am going to finish my accounts, well before pelarasan punya of coz, n in hope that i can understand it and insyaAllah, il sambung wat for with pelarasan. n lukis ikan for bio, wat elok2 n blajar locomotion ckit n then i may study maths or sejarah.

haih. i wish i have super powers. or its ok. just a wand. or a genie so then i can make wishes. i only have two ok make it three. normal la tu kan. haha. one for me, one for my parents and one for him. n thats all i want.

i am grateful with what i have. i have everything that i need. i shouldnt be wanting more. its more than enough. i am very lucky to be who i am now.

Whose eyes am I behind
I don’t recognize anything that I see
Whose skin is this design
I don’t want this to be the way that you see me

I don’t understand anything anymore
In this world that I’m tired of
Is taking me right up these walls
That I climb up
To get to your story
It’s anything but ordinary

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I get nothing but left behind
Everybody seems to be getting what they need where's mine
‘Cause your what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

Can you save me from this world of mine
Before I get myself arrested with this expectation
You are the one look what you’ve done
What have you done?
This is not some kind of joke
You’re just a kid
You weren’t ready for what you did

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I do it for you time after time
Everybody seems to be getting what they need where's mine
‘Cause you what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

I think im trying to save the world from you
You’ve been saving me too
We could just stay in and save each other

Im anything but ordinary

I think i screwed up ur life. Like how i always do. If u havent met me, u wouldnt be this messed up. U wouldnt be so troubled and constantly with problems. And i have to find a way to make u be normal again.

Why i marah sgt?

Dgn org laen she bg ja nk kluar bla2 masa, tiap2 minggu pun bole. Xpenah ada msalh. Xpayah tnya pun she bg ja. N xpnah tnya pun i nk pegi mana. N balek pon she xbapa kisah i balek what time. Tpi il be back by 7 la.

Ni with him xbole. Apa ni.

I never knew that i have a heart that could hurt and break.
I never knew that i have very sensitive tear glands.

But i thank god for giving me the ability to control my tear glands tho it wasnt so successful or i would be drenched with tears for the whole day.

rar rar rar

you jangan lupa, saya pun ada hati gak k. n saya bukan heartless, walaupun saya nmpak xberhati 'perut', haha saya maseh ada hati dan perasaan yang boleh diguris. tapi ive learned sth, xpayah la sensitive. jgn la kisah sgt. its just for fun. and jgn lah cepat marah. and to stay with you, tahap kesabaran mmg kena tinggi. and saya ignore suma tu sebab saya sayang kamu. okeh ? just kamu jangan la treat saya sampai sebegitu rupa and sampai one day saya ternanges sebab tension sangat.

so kalo saya telah mencederakan or tercedarakan or terkasar terlebey dkat kamu, kamu jgn lah mrah. kalo boleeee, saya gigit u kuat2, tarik2 rambut u, picit2 pipi u sampai merah n bengkak, cubit paha u sampai lebam n paling penting saya akan gigit perut kamu sebab marah sgt. sebab tahap kesabaran saya rendah.

tapi yaaaaa... kamu kejam. n saya mmg marah sat tadi. sebab satu sebab. hmph >_<

I wana be on you ~ hahahah !

i love muhammad rizal. i love abdul aziz bin ishak.

why ? because they open up my mind and i enjoy being with them. i could spend hours and hours talking and " discussing " haha with em.

yeap, i will ingat cikgu aziz and i will keep in touch with him sampai saya besar.

and i like this feeling that i have. this feeling of feeling free, so easy, totally honest and transparent when im talking to cikgu aziz. its like i can just tell him anything and everything. and i just do it without hesitating, or without thinking and without any effort to cover up or anything. its just the real me when i talk to him. and i like that. thank u, cikgu. =)

A friendly discussion.

With my dad holding a knife and me and my mum screaming and arguing at the top of our lungs about why men can only marry four and not more.

so yeap, mr robin knows that im very the very fuckingly bothered by the issue. and am still a bit am. so he spend some time to explain it to me n yeaaaaa2 ~ i liked it and i could understand it. i just still dont agree. obviously.

if u would like to really argue about this actually, u have to bukak buku sejarah and get back to facts of history. benda ni jadi sejak zaman bapak aku lagi.

laws. fuck the laws.

quota system. fuck the quota system.

paling trok quota system aaa.

In the day by day collision
Called the art of growing up
There's an innocence we look for in the stars
To be taken back to younger days
When there was no giving up
On the people we held closest to our hearts

Can some parents just go to school and please voice it out on behalf of me ? thanks so much.

Is there such thing as changing races ?

If there is, pls do tell me. i would be happier than ever. perhaps the happiest person even.

this is day 02 yeappp im counting it and i dont seem to get over it. not even a bit. well i managed la a bit last night but the whole thing is coming back. i think it will get worse day by day. i just dk what to do. i need to talk to ckgu aziz tonite. like seriouslyyy.

staying back on thursdays 230 till 330 and mondays till 530 for that damn thing is not making me happy. id rather get squashed or be a rugby ball for the rugby players to throw ok and at least il have some fun. getting special treatment like that is not making me happy. if i think i cannot go on like this and be ok with this, i will tarik diri. insyaAllah, God willing, if i study hard, with Gods permission, i can get 10 as or at least good results rather than goin to that fucking ****** programmee. i dont need a fucking ****** programe to ensure a bright future for me. if i want it to be bright, then i will make it bright.

i am so angry and furious today n skang smpai rasa nk gla. of how it made others feel. of how it hurt others. mind u others tu kawan saya yang saya sayang. i feel hurt, i feel sad, i feel ashamed, i feel so unfair, i feel so angry, everything. xpenah fikir ka org laen akn rasa cam na. ohhhh, xle hbq kat orgg. bullshit. serious shit. i just feel smpai idk how i am gona face others.

and fuck those guys. yes i can talk english and im talking in english. do u have a fucking problem with that? do u have a fucking problem with me ? ada? maih ckp dpan2, awat la pulak ckap belakng aku lpas aku lalu. aku tau la ang men rugby and badan ang bsaq tapi ang pkiaq ang tu bgoih sgt ka.lagi la aku rasa cam nk tukaq race. aku cam nk turn ja n ckp fuck u. well i did, just not at his face. and i was a having a good conversation rather than u, mind u. so why cant u just shut ur bloody mouth up and mind your own business and put some clothes on before i start condemning u right in front of ur f face. do that and u will get a lil extra respect from me. and i wouldnt even say fuck u in the first place. i really hate those type of ppl. tell me who i dont hate skg ni. haha

how can ppl see others based on their skin colour. their religion. their race. what is fuckingly wrong with you. i just dont get ppl like that.

and yes i have to agree to what my mom said, we are so not 1 malaysia. i say bullshit one malaysia.

i am just furious ok, furious, not plain angry anymore. well i was pun yesterday. bila aku nak ok xtau la. maybe aku xakan ok pun kot.

Saya xptot wat cmtu dkat kamu. Haih

I am sorry but I am not a pure Malay, and I will never be because I am borned and raised this way.

This is my mentality. Hence, yes, obviously i was mad and furious about the whole thing. and worse i cant just simply say it out loud to anyone in random. of coz i cant. i cant let it out. only to my parents i can without feeling guilty. well, to be more precise, muhd rizal.

the rest, they will slap my face and say im crazy. yeapp. unless u know me. even u do, i know u dont agree with me. im so sorry. im so sorry if tadi ive said anything wrong or anything. or even all this while. so pls, just give me some time to get used to this whole thing.

i know bukannya benda besar pun n knapa i mrah sgt. its no big pun kan. well lets not look at the small picture, lets look at the big one. hadoi. susah la nk ckp. n so before i could open my mouth and say anything tadi, rizal said it has nothing to do with me, let other people settle this thing, i should just go on. yeap, i was so stressed up that i nk pinjam someones phone and call my mum or dad n talk to em.

yeap. my focus skang ni spm. lepaih spm kalo aku nk jadi activist ka pa benda tu len cita la.

Thank u amalina for noticing my feelings. haha. ^_^ yes2, dont be so angry or il be 50 in no time.

n to ezza who was saying aiman, relax aiman, relax.

n to hidayah who was like aiman, why so stressed up.

n to anusha and sharon who said i shouldnt withdraw myself from it and to go on with it.

n to anis who had that talk with me.

i think i rasa mcm nk jerit kata wth la weey. sory la. im just not used to all this thing and the whole concept.

but seriously, thank u bcuz they are really doing a good job, putting their efforts in this and all. so i will try and make much of it. take it in a positive way. well obviously, everyone is taking it in a good way except me. i know its a good thing, so ok la tu. byk pros dia. xdak cons pun. its going to be ok. and i will be ok. ^_^

Weakling ( with small flappy wings on )

okehh. I NEED AND MUST CHIILAXXX !

its not the end of things, just yet. so relax. why think so much. why worry so much. why frustrate yourself so much. why oh why. just. re.lax. !!!!

yeap. im kinda like lost it. im sorry if i bore u to death. i am reallyy sorry. i cant help it. idk what is happening to me. bcuz of all this thing and this situation. it just shows how weak i am. i need to be strong, be independent.

i need to be strong. i can go thru this. i can do it. i can face this.

o _ O ~ zzzzZZZzzzz

rarrrr. can i cry nowwww ~

Que tu me manques

Adakah kamu oke? Adakah kamu sihat? Macam mana dgn kaki kamu? Macam mana game tadi? Adakah kamu cedera di mana-mana? Kamu dah makan dah ka? Kamu penat sangat ka? Adakah kamu still monyok? And many more.

I wish i could go over to ur hse like less than 5 minutes and i dont care and give u lotsa hugs and kissess and say good nite, sleep tight, sweet dreams and pls dream of me.

Rarr >_<

Aku rasa kalo lama cmni aku boleh gila tau dakkkkkk~ >_<

When the sun comes down, at the edge

A told me As puppy died with a tragic death n i hugged A n A cried in my arms. I understand how A feels n it is reallyyyy sadddd.

X told me two guys are chasing X and clearly X is lost and X is stuck, not knowing what to do. X hasnt moved on, i dont know whether X will eventually move on.

B told me B doesnt have a phone anymore and B is clearly angry and upset. I hope B is fine when B gets home. I hope B would be okay and handle it wisely.

To all of this, information overloadddd. I mean i clearly do not know what to do or how to help em. I can just only hear em out. Obviously i cant decide for u guys and even if i could, damn, its so complicated. the whole story. when i heard em, i was like yeappp blurrr coz byk sgt. actually xbyk pun but im like w t h ~

But seriously, what made my day was those beautiful 5 seconds meeting haha ! i was smiling like a jackass for like 15 minutesss ? thank u for forgiving me. =) it just so totally made my day. and right after that, damnn, i rasa legaaa gilaaaa.

all in all, school today ok laaa. n greattt. ckgu admths tu kalo boleh nk lpaih kol 4 smpai kami kat atas suma trkunci abeh. itu satu. dua nya she knows my name yeap tx for muet but i dont knw her name. haha. niways la since she kinda like kknows me, IM UNDER OBSERVATION ! i think she called my name like 3 times and like kept looking at meee ? so aku kena cop. so time2 admths aku kena jdi budak baek. haih. plus xleyh bukak kasut. haih. addmths smpai kol 250 is not nice i tell u.

n can i pls migrate to melbourne or gold coast or aberdeen asap ? thanks.

zzzzZZZZZzzzZZZZZz !

i. hate. school.

need i say more ? schools like tomorrow and im already depressed right now. haha.

s**t laaaa !

Megalomaniac

n omg ! i know ive been having gideon for like more than a year now but omg bru skg i guna voice control. its prettyyy cool ya knowww. haha

ok2. so this may be long. since dlm keta tdi i didnt study sej and or bio. a lot went thru my mind. i just slept and prayed to god that i could reach sp safely and meet my love ones. i was so scared till i wanted to cry. Robin Rizal xboleh bawak laju lagi kaaa ? cuba 200mph kaaa ~ gosh !

okehh. soooo, muet. wehee. at last abeh dh. whats next is my mid year. great la kan. sat ja lagi nk mid year but shit i didnt do anythg lagi. i know whts the point of blabbing about it if u dont put any effort. riteeee ??? gah ! must do now.

sooo i screwed my reading. i half screwed my writing. it was actually easy.very easy. if la before this i rajen wat essay so it wouldnt be a big prob. writing for muet is like writing like an adult. yeappp, not like our secondary level. u need to have thesis statement, topic sentence, ur inference for ur conclusion and make a nice intro and conclusion la. i mean, its more adult-ish hahha n i so dont fit to be one. oh yea n my listening was absolutely fine as the damn speaker which was as big as me was blasting right in front of my facee. yeappp. i was seated at the front roww. gosh.

what i learned today was dont judge a book by its cover. i knowwww bla3 slalu ckp benda ni but yeahh i still do judge ppl n misjudge em. n i know i shudnt. i should be more open. niwayss. i was shocked that this guy whom i always see around school, all alone and lost and i never see him talk. but when he spoke just now, not bad, he could speak, hes polite, ok i know bru first tym ckp but the way he ckp it shows hes nice la, like not bad for a person, not like those some malay guys who doesnt even know how to respect ppl. so i was really shocked.

and then pulakk. i went to baling. in hope to see my long lost cousins. its been like two years or so. yeahhh. dua tahun x jumpa. everyone grew and im the one who is shrinking ! hahha. ok la. so mmg p sana blur bcuz i bru bgn tido n im so not used with the environment n i saw gulai pucuk pisang or sth n i ate like i havent eaten for 10 years. so yea, it was a blurrr i tell you, its like it took me 10 minutes to recognize who they are n im like heyyy, i think i know uuu. haha. i thinkkk.

so yeah, i stayed there for like 30 minutes onlyy ? dang i wished i could stay there till tomorrow. i mean seriously, i dont mind skipping school bcuz i really wish i dont have to go. last week was badd mood week for me. maybe too much of tears, bad memories and anger mad me go oh so emo. haha. n yeaa mayb bcuz i didnt take my vitamins, thats y im down. thats my stupid theory, sorry, haha. so iwas like can we stay there longerrr next time. n he was like what caught ur eyes ?

the people there. they are my family members. not immediate as i only have my parents, but they are still a part of me. n i wish i can know them more. i believe that if i stayed there longer, i could have u know lepak sana, duduk n menyembang about lotsa stuff. n yeah, learnnn sthhh. and yea, i should be in places like that, u know exposing myself to the outer world. haha

ok what i also learned is how u present yourself, ok nope not by how u dress ok its does a bit n mind u i went to school with a black tudung, blue bju kurung n my pink converse n i was like i should be shot dead by the fashion police. i mean i dont have flats or sandals or anything proper or for sth formal. i have wedges but u dont expect me to be sitting for muet with wedges or flip flops riteee. and i hate that sandals that i have, its not comfy so id rather stick with dear converse. n to make it worse, i already have an appropriate blouse to wear but guess whatttt ~ i dont have the appropriate pants to go with itttt. gosh ! what do i have. yeah i need slacks. i act need em for bowlg also but yeaa i wont be going so often so no big. ^_^ so i will be buying those things. AND NOTE - THOSE ARE NOT WANTS BUT A NEED FOR ME. I NEED THEM. dangggg, rminds me of the charles and keith sandals.. aaaaa ! mind u, its black, well it comes with brown too i guess, and its studded and it fits me ! n the best thing is u dont have to pay it thru ur nose. so im so gona check it out again.

ok present urself. u. need. to. be. matured. its the matter of how u speak. how u say things. if someone happens to ask u a question or ur opinion. and the discussion goes on and on and on, and u happen to get a conclusion out of it and hence it was a fruitful discussion, then i say bravo, u know how to talk and present urself. and thats very good for u. for me, it aint easy to survive in a discussion. i could hardly finish a sentence. haha. but if u hardly could utter a word, would only reply with one word, then do sth. and one more, when u speak, speak loudly, even if it needs u to scream, just scream, let urself be heard.

but being matured rite now is not sth that i would like to think about. i have a couple of months left to fool around with gfs at high school, tho it isnt my dream high school which i never everrrr which i would end up in, but anyways. i want to enjoy what i still have now. * pls, talk to me tomorrow, u know how depressing it is to me tho i know u dont even give a f * gosh...

all in all id like to say, i loveeeee the weekends. see, im not sooo stressed up or anything. hadoi. esok skola. tau dakkkk ~

n yeahh, not even 5 minutes after meeting my that cousin who jsut got married, hes like, reti ckp bhasa melayu xxx. n im like muka aku ni nmpk mcm xreti kaaaa.

ok i do have to admit, i hardly talk bm, sometimes i tend to struggle to speak in bm. well sometimes i struggle in english too. maybe when my brain slows down for a mo.

yeappppp ! especially at school when everybody is doing absolutely nothing.

im in love with her. thats all i can say. hahaha !

Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila seorang perempuan jatuh cinta,lelaki itu tidak semestinya punya segalanya tetapi lelaki itu adalah segalanya di hatinya.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila seorang perempuan itu mengalirkan air mata, itu bukan bermakna dia lemah, tetapi dia sedang mencari kekuatan untuk terus tabah menyintai lelaki itu.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila seorang perempuan marah, memang dia tidak mampu mengawal perasaannya tapi percayalah, itulah maknanya dia sangat mengambil berat dan menyayangi lelaki itu. Lihat saja pasangan yang baru bercinta, mereka jarang bergaduh. Tetapi percayalah semakin bertambah sayang mereka pada seseorang, semakin pula banyak pertelingkahan yang berlaku.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan bercakap banyak, dia tidak pernah bermaksud untuk membuat anda rimas, tapi dia mahu lelaki mengenalinya dengan lebih dekat.



Andain lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan berkata dia mahu anda berubah, itu bukan bermakna dia tidak mahu menerima anda seadanya, tetapi dia mahu menjadikan anda lebih baik, bukan untuk dirinya, tetapi untuk masa depan anda.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan cemburu dan tidak percayakan anda, bukan bermakna dia tidak sayang..tetapi dia terlalu sayangkan anda dan masih mengangap anda anak kecil yang masih memerlukan sepenuh perhatian. Kadang2 dia terlalu risau sekiranya terlalu percaya, anda akan mengkhianati kepercayaan yang diberi. Naluri keibuannya sangat kuat. Dia hanya mahukan yang terbaik untuk anda.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan merajuk, jangan kata dia mengada-ngada. Dia bukannya mahu dipujuk dengan wang ringgit atau hadiah sedozen, tetapi cukup dengan perhatian yang boleh buat perempuan rasa dihargai.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan jarang mengatakan ‘i love u’, itu tidak bermaksud dia tidak menyintai tetapi dia mahu lelaki itu merasai sendiri cintanya, bukan hanya hadir dari kata-kata tetapi juga melalui bahasa tubuhnya.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan kata dia rindu sama kamu, dia benar-benar maksudkannya. Apabila berjauhan, bayanganmu akan sentiasa bermain di mata.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan kata lelaki lain itu lebih baik dari kamu, jangan percaya kata-katanya kerana dia hanya mahu menguji kamu. Dia mahu melihat sejauh mana kamu sanggup menjadi yang terbaik di matanya. Walaupun sebenarnya memang kamulah yang terbaik di hatinya. Selagi dia dengan kamu, percayalah, walaupun perempuan menganggap masih ramai lagi yang lebih baik di matanya tetapi di hatinya, kamu tetap yang terbaik.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan menjadi degil, dia bukan bermaksud untuk menjadi degil tapi dia mahu melihat sejauh mana lelaki itu mampu bersabar dengan kerenahnya. Percayalah, hati perempuan itu sangat lembut. Andai kena caranya, jangan terkejut kalau akhirnya dia menukar fikirannya dalam masa sesaat.



Andai lelaki tahu..Apabila perempuan berkata, “tolong tinggalkan saya!”, dia tidak bermaksud menyuruh anda pergi selamanya. Dia hanya mahu menenangkan fikirannya sebentar saja. Apabila dia kembali tenang, percayalah dia akan mencari anda semula. Itu tandanya dia benar-benar menyintai anda. Perempuan sukar untuk mengawal perasaan. Dia terlalu emosional. Tapi dialah yang paling menyayangi anda dan sangat sensitif dengan perubahan pada diri anda.



Andai lelaki tahu..Sememangnya Allah menciptakan lelaki dan perempuan itu dengan perbezaan yang tersendiri. Tetapi sekiranya mereka saling memahami, mereka akan saling melengkapi dan menyempurnakan . Perempuan itu diciptakan oleh Allah indah sekali. Di sebalik air matanya, tersimpan seribu satu kekuatan yang bakal menjadikan seorang lelaki itu merasa selamat bersamanya. Biarpun zahirnya perempuan itu tampak lemah tapi dia punya kekuatan tersendiri yang bisa menggoncang dunia dan mungkin bisa pula membuat lelaki menjadi lemah kerananya. Jadi hargailah kehadiran seorang perempuan dalam hidup anda kerana dia didatangkan bukan dengan kelemahan sahaja tetapi dia juga ada kekuatan untuk menyongkong anda dan membuatkan hidup anda lebih sempurna. Dialah yang bakal menjadi perempuan bekerjaya, isteri juga ibu yang terbaik untuk anak2 anda.

Totally !

Yeaaa, it aint a fairy tale

- dont meng-molest my pungkoq when im not in the mood or when im not horny. nnti sya bebaii. and saya akan jdi kasaq.

- omg. my dads like see, my bird is talking. n i was likeeeee...

- omg la. staying home with parents is like boleh pch palaaa. haha. xabes bertekak.

- thats not the way for u to talk. u should be persuasive. well not persuasive but at least change ur tone n the way u say it. at least a bit. mmg susah nk jdi persuasive but at least try learning how to talk and tell ppl properly. not in a way where it can cause a fight. that is not the way at all. that is not the way to talk or to teach someone. that is sth that i really dont agree.

- donkeyyyy ~

- saya sudah rindu kamu. rarrrr !

Permission to steal.

Lying in bed, eyes wide open, the mind in a whirl..
thinking...wishing...
then a thought came to me..
If only I could open my heart and set my feeling free, so I might find
some happiness...before more years slip away..
Hoping I will wake up each morning looking forward to another happy day..
leaving all sadness and unhappiness behind..
If only everyone around me could help me find new desires and feelings
of excitement....could understand me more, help me overcome this terrible feeling inside..a feeling of loneliness, feeling of pain that will not subside...
If only someone could understand why sometimes I'm overwhelmed with stress, sorrow and sadness..why my soul feels weak, my mind is screaming..., why my spirit collapses, my heart is bleeding...???
I'm depressed, I feel hopeless, mindless, worthless... up and down I feel sad..no emotion, just hollow, nothing inside, so empty...
I know this isn't right, but what can I do...how long will I be living like this..??? and I've been distrust..will someone take my hand...and love me???


- i find this very interesting and beautiful.

yeah like how i described my heart as a sinking ship at school just now. u see titanic ? a whole in it, water gushing it n its getting heavier by the minute and its slowly sinking ? and then u dont see it anymore ? yeaaa, thats the one.

Can i strangle you ?
Can i bite ur head off ?
Can i tear ur face off ?
Can i make u bleed ?


omg. pms much ? aiyooo ~

Seriously ?

How do you do it ?
You make me feel like I do
How do you do it ?
It is better than I ever knew

History for sale.

* 7am - omg i just pooped and its pink
* 823am - omg i just burnt my pancake
* 10am - while i was watering the plants, dang, i saw a 3 legged bug.


ok n it goes chronologically la through out the whole day.

ok my point here is, are we publicising our life ? well, i mean mine. n to some others out there who updates their status every effing minute of their life telling all sorts of things, and mind u stupid and ridiculous things and posting picas like hey, i just had orange juice. dear, if ur having a pink martini or 50 shots of vodka n drinking it half naked, then i think u should be posting it.

i mean, what r u trying to do ? ok fine, like a blog, its a place where u let things out. where u vent. where u get to express urself freely. one thing i learned is if u would like to swear or curse or talk bad about someone, dont mention their name or make it so obvious that it is that person coz trust me, it could and will be used against u. well moral of the story la, dont bother talking bad about other ppl, as long as ur happy, they are happy, we are happy. ^_^

sometimes i feel i may be saying things which i shouldnt say here. i mean mind u its world.wide.web. anyone can read it. especially when i dont make my blog private. and i believe that we should have no we must have certain things that we still need to keep. among friends, among bfs, i mean its sth that u havee to keep, n not all things u can simply share with anyone, its not about trust, its whether u are able to say it out loud or not. i feel its better if in the end, u still have sth left in u that only u know and nobody else does.

ok so lets see, i still do talk about my daily stuff. well yes i do bcuz miss raudha sometimes comes here and check how we are all doing. or yea tumblr-ing craze whatsoever. and im so not gona make my own tumblr coz id be dead if i do. il be like reblog, reblog, REBLOG !

well what im trying to say here is, when i see ppls sites esp facebook n things, u dont have to practically post everythinggg about u including ur pics n stuff. i mean yg thp kronik la. like ckit2 nk update n gtaw org. sounds kinda funny too. big events, yes u can, but small2 stuff ? xperlu la. theres no need to do so.

and i feel that we should privatise our life rather than publicising it.

so ok i dont know where this is going. i just feel like typing. haha. so anyways, my point here is, just dont be like org yg nk mengupdate status kmu stiap saat. at least write about sth inspirational or informative that could help others.

* pffftttt ~ like i am helping ppl right now. sorry ppl ! im wasting ur precious time. oh dang, mine too..


- do not regret -

Propanolol

St.George’s Girls’ School International Understanding Night

should i just die or just kill myself now ?

and guess what ibrahim has ?

NOTHING. NADA. NIL. NONE. ! NEED I SAY MORE.

* and only this year ( 2011 mind u ) some brilliant person ( seriously, i love u, thank u ) only thought of making aliran in english and taking copies of mckk mag as samples. like seriously, wth, i am just so sad and depressed. ok la, at least, lets just hope the school mag for this year would be different.

soooo, jgn lah pungkoq bsaq sgtttttt. haha

macam saya kannn. heheheh

ive been like that since last week. daymn

exactly ! hahah

been there, done that. hahahahah ~

i want a baby like this ! haha

Do u realize that I didn't do something ? I hope you do.

* pls dont ask, dont bother, i just screwed myself again *

ok. here. i feel if i dont say this, i wont be able to sleep tonight.

i am sorry, sincerely, dearly, very sory. i am sorry i said that to u. i might have pissed u off, made u angry and even hurt u by saying that. and i hope ur reading this.

i know, im sorry i buruk sangka dkat u. ur niat jz for that thing n ur niat is baek, so im really sorry. coz u knw im really kinda worried la, just u know, i dont want u to be like that. but i am so sorry. u go ahead and do anything u want, whats best for u, just jgn ganggu study n anything il support u.

if i could, i would have gone to u personally and gave it to u n explain to u face to face tdi and apologise, but yea, obviously i cant kan, n u know why rite. n my heart was thumping n i was trembling like hell. so u see how important u are to me.

yeappp, true enough, u didnt accept it. i almost cried n i was like owkayy. so clearly, ur still mad at me, n obviously u ignored me. like completely. u are an importnant element in my life okeh, can we be friends ? like again ? next week ? pls, pretty pls, can we be a happy family again ?

n i really mean it, i am sorry.

How words can control you

Never say never, never say no, never say you cannot do something.

nothing is impossible. you can do it. you are capable in doing anything you want. dont underestimate yourself.

think positive. get up. there is always tomorrow. be excited. be excited and happy that there is still tomorrow. there is still something u can look forward for.

set ur aims. set ur dreams. say u can do it. u can be successful just like everyone else. reach for the stars. never think that ur a failure.

when u say u cannot do it, trust me, u cannot do it. its better to fail when doing sth than failing without trying.

and nobody is going to make you happy if you yourself aint gona make yourself happy.

How do you do it?
You make me feel like I do
How do you do it?
It's better than I ever knew

When it comes.

- Great. yes, shit, now i got the inks for the printer. but guess whatttt. i bought the wrong cartridges. great ! what else havent i screwedddd ~

- nothing is impossible.

- exploitation.

- so i would pass. it doesnt matter anyways. like, for realll ? yeahh

- i wish i dont have to eat at all.

- the world is a vampire.

- epiphany. yes, somebody, no, i dont want a bitch slap, but i would like to have a strong, able bodied guys slap. i need it. i need to stop thinking and get my head straight n focus.

- stop being such an arse.

- and stop being a pain in the arse.

- and stop being so boring. yes, i am boring. dont they have this book called ' how to di-boring urself' or ' how to not bore people with ur boring attitude' any recommendations ?

- pls get me incubus cds n let me meet brandon boyd. thanks.

- i do not want to regret.

- when is my time of the month again ? oh pls oh pls oh pls ~ i cant wait ! pls come tmrw so then i will feel better.

- muet sbtu ni. and thats the end of it. ^_^

I think if i have the chance, i would like to study abroad. How it will open up ur eyes and see great and different things around you.

It is like a dog chasing its own tail.

You just go round and round and round n in the end, u wont get anything. Its pointless.

Cho co la te

GRRRRR!! benci gila!

I hate my feelings right now.

You know, I actually never knew that I actually do have a heart. Haha~

It is hard to keep your feet on the ground when things around you are like dreams.

And nothing lasts forever.

And when u loose control of yourself, daymn, i dont know what to say.You need something to hold on to.

It may seem a small matter, but i think it is bigger than that. its very big. stop lying to yourself. stop pretending. face it, please.

And sweet dreams arent made of these.

oh shit ! why the sad thoughts. enjoy life while u can. =)

CHARLES AND KEITH

pls oh pls give me rm1000 * the more the better, obviously * n bring me to gurney plaza. thanks.

I mean i just dont get it anymore. Things that i grew up with, what is that? N now, what is this? R all those fake? What can i believe now? Do i have something stable n concrete to grow up with? Do i have something that i can really hold on n give up my life to?

Well, i know i do. And i am glad i have this someone that i can.

W H Y ~ ~ ~ > _ < H A I H ~

I dont know whats real and whats not anymore. I am so sick of this. I am really fucking sick of this.

Why u sho cute.

I want huggy u n kisshyy uuu.

=.= im mentally and emotionally tired dah skg ni. so pls.

i know ur sad, i have reasons to be sad too. u just dont know. n i actually dont wana talk about this to anyone.