Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Anytime will do.
Bukan senang nak pendam. Bukan senang nak wat bodo ja bila benda dah tau n dah lama dah dok jadi. Day by day, I really find it hard to conceal things, its really hard to bottle things up. Bcuz sooner or later it will eat me up. I wonder how it will be when it comes to my turn. Xjadi paaaa ?
Come on la weeeey. Dia dah besaq panjang dah. X panjang la tpi chubby. Xpayah la dok nak bsing2 mai stai ckp cmtu. Bdak 4 taon pon akan paham klo kita ckp elok2. Ni tmbh2 klo org yg bg p khwen n bole dpt anak lagiii la paham. Knapa kena ckp mcm tu. Cuba la ckp elok2. Theres a way to talk. N jgn lupa, stiap org ada perasaan. Xkira pompuan ka laki ka gay ka lesbian ka suma ada akai, hati, n prsaan. N then nnti jgn la tnya psepa dia xbalek rumah dah. Haih. Menyedihkan! Xckup lgi kaaaaa~
Monday, May 30, 2011
What to do now ? I could just taste it.
Ok, i know what i need to do, what i should do. relax u knnow, life goes on, no big, its normal. xyah dok wat trok. be grateful. u have much more than needed.enough. whats done is done. thats the past, anyways. ur a big girl, u should know what to do n what not to do. i didnt have the brains n the level of maturity needed to know all sorts of things back then. even now, i dont know much. pretty much u can say i know nothing. i want to know, if its possible, everything. and i want the truth. everything. bcuz rite now, i feel i have nothing, i dont know anything at all. bcuz maybe whatever ive been living, growing up with, being feed with, are all some piece of shit. and its been there, all this while, right in front of my eyes, i just failed to see and realize. why ? why can i see others but not sth so essential in my life? or i just chose not to hear and ignore it, hence, i dont know anything. and i am left like this right now.
i wish i can start new. new. a new book. i dont want a chapter, i want a new book. i wish i can rely on someone, 100%. trust someone 100%. without being afraid to be cheated. honest. everything is transparent. u know everything. sth or someone that i can just hold on to without being left. like a pole, i can hold on to for the rest of my life. so then i have sth that i can hang on to. i want sth that i can fall back to. i want someone who can catch me when i fall. maybe sometimes i want u to fall with me, let me fall, n teach me to get up again. sometimes just let me be. maybe sometimes just catch me n cut all the effort n let me just hug u n hug me back n let me just cry n make me feel i have someone with me. yes, i am afraid. bcuz i dont understand a thing. i just dont get it.
a part of me says, just listen, just believe, live it, another says what if its just pure crap ? u want a crappy life ?
from what i see, i think the worst feeling is feeling empty. feeling empty, n lost, not having sth strong and permanent that lasts long to hold to.
* it might be impractical, but anytime will do *
i wish i can start new. new. a new book. i dont want a chapter, i want a new book. i wish i can rely on someone, 100%. trust someone 100%. without being afraid to be cheated. honest. everything is transparent. u know everything. sth or someone that i can just hold on to without being left. like a pole, i can hold on to for the rest of my life. so then i have sth that i can hang on to. i want sth that i can fall back to. i want someone who can catch me when i fall. maybe sometimes i want u to fall with me, let me fall, n teach me to get up again. sometimes just let me be. maybe sometimes just catch me n cut all the effort n let me just hug u n hug me back n let me just cry n make me feel i have someone with me. yes, i am afraid. bcuz i dont understand a thing. i just dont get it.
a part of me says, just listen, just believe, live it, another says what if its just pure crap ? u want a crappy life ?
from what i see, i think the worst feeling is feeling empty. feeling empty, n lost, not having sth strong and permanent that lasts long to hold to.
* it might be impractical, but anytime will do *
Epiphany
I think i made the hugest mistake in my life. How come ive never thot of it. Well no,of coz, i didnt know it ws like this, i knw, its jz i didnt want to knw the truth. I didnt want to knw. I didnt want to hear. I didnt want to bother. I am so naive and immature. But truth act doesnt hurt at all and its acceptable. Its understandable. How come i dont understand and see it all this while. For all this while, ive been blamming, ive been hating, ive been ignoring on sth. N tht sth that im not even sure and clear of. It ws just my own assumption which i thot it was a fact. And i dont rrally und evrythg, and i cannot bcuz ive never been in their shoes, but ive read from a persons perspective, n heard, n seen, n now puting all the pieces together, i can see the picture now, but not clearly, yet. U dont blame on it. U cannot blame on it. At certain point life, ppl will give up. Ppl will cry. Ppl will be weak. Ppl will bleed. Its a normal thing. Its not their choice, its how life made them be. After series of unfortunate events perhaps, they got nowhere to turn to hence just climb into a dark hole n stay there. N with some luck, u r aware of it, n slowly u help urself to crawl out of it. U may not be the same again as it leaves a permanent scar in u. I wish i have the chance to turn back time, to restart my life again so that i can see and understand what really went wrong. Was it the system or things around it. Or was it sth u cannot run away from. I need somebody to talk to right now.
Love, Gideon.
Love, Gideon.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
We are nuts. We are crazy. We are insane.
Seriously ?
Fuck, yes, fucking seriousssss ~
We are some effing psychos.
Fuck, yes, fucking seriousssss ~
We are some effing psychos.
Yea, Y I no blog things.
Yea, i havent been posting anything, i mean, me, writing, blabbing some stuff which is coming out from me. its susah la. i meannn, its better to just relax, buat bodo, n ignore and life goes on, ya know ? xpayah la bising, xpayah la kecoh, xyah la ada issue ka apa ka apa. there are better things in life, i suppose.
but still, lama-kelamaan, if i keep doing that, i would go insane. believe me in this. I am not good at pretending, I am, its just I cannot last long like that. And I am not good in bottling things up, well I am good at it, just when the bottle is almost full and it gets heavier, it really will take a huge toll on me. As if there is a huge burden over my shoulder. And i effingly hate that.
but still, lama-kelamaan, if i keep doing that, i would go insane. believe me in this. I am not good at pretending, I am, its just I cannot last long like that. And I am not good in bottling things up, well I am good at it, just when the bottle is almost full and it gets heavier, it really will take a huge toll on me. As if there is a huge burden over my shoulder. And i effingly hate that.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
La Bamba !
Steamboat bersama Rizals. haha. ok la, steamboat xsdap, its like xdak pa ponn. i dont care la, i had fun n i sukaa. buttttt,
ok la mula2 tu mcm f jgak la and then i was like da faq la, lantak la, i just wana sit back and enjoy my life while i still can. =)
n so yeaaa, i love feeding horses. haha
ok i left sth at homee, yeap, i went out without that damn sth yg i slalu pgg like out of 24hrs, sejam ja xpgg. n it felt gooood.
n thennn, damn, kalo bole, aku dah nek atas n join mereka brdua bergelek di atas stage itu. haha.
hence, due to all the show n loud music, i am hyped n feel kinda hyper. heeee.
yes, shake it baby ! haha
n yes, jom, p bangkok jom ! haha
New Zealand
Yes, it really nice. and awesome. and it is so green. and byk animals. and aman. and tenang ja dkat situ.
Buttttttt, the question is.
What if I cant make it ? What if I die in the journey ? What if I die in the plane ? hahahah
Buttttttt, the question is.
What if I cant make it ? What if I die in the journey ? What if I die in the plane ? hahahah
It might be impractical
but I sure can say it is fucking ridiculous and stupid.
And some things, it is fate. It is meant to be, whether you like it or not. Whether you wish it or not.
It sucks, I have to say.
And some things you cant just do anything about, even if it is written with a pencil, u dont have an eraser to erase. You cannot erase your past or things that has happened to you.
Fuck you, by the way.
And damn, I cant even say it. I mean, entah la. its a sad thought in me. Why even ?
It is not cool and easy facing failures right ?
I hope for the best. Thats all.
Now, lets move on. =)
And some things, it is fate. It is meant to be, whether you like it or not. Whether you wish it or not.
It sucks, I have to say.
And some things you cant just do anything about, even if it is written with a pencil, u dont have an eraser to erase. You cannot erase your past or things that has happened to you.
Fuck you, by the way.
And damn, I cant even say it. I mean, entah la. its a sad thought in me. Why even ?
It is not cool and easy facing failures right ?
I hope for the best. Thats all.
Now, lets move on. =)
Friday, May 27, 2011
It might be impractical
To seek out a new romance
We won't know the actual
If we never take the chance
I'd love to collapse with you
And ease you against this song
I think we're compatible
I see that you think I'm wrong
But anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
No choice of words will break me from this rule
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
What choice of words will take me back to you
Your love makes a fool of you
You can't seem to understand
Our heart doesn't play by rules
And love has it's own demands
But I'll be there to take care of you
If ever you should decide
But you don't want to waste your life
In the middle of a lovesick lullaby
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
No choice of words will break me from this rule
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
What choice of words will take me back to you
Oh my reddest rose, caldera, set it off
How your fire grows hermosa caldera glistening
Through your fussed blows careen your caldera set it off
As your body flows the second hand flashes passes
Over your skin like time
Anytime will do
To seek out a new romance
We won't know the actual
If we never take the chance
I'd love to collapse with you
And ease you against this song
I think we're compatible
I see that you think I'm wrong
But anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
No choice of words will break me from this rule
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
What choice of words will take me back to you
Your love makes a fool of you
You can't seem to understand
Our heart doesn't play by rules
And love has it's own demands
But I'll be there to take care of you
If ever you should decide
But you don't want to waste your life
In the middle of a lovesick lullaby
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
No choice of words will break me from this rule
Anytime will do
My love
Anytime will do
What choice of words will take me back to you
Oh my reddest rose, caldera, set it off
How your fire grows hermosa caldera glistening
Through your fussed blows careen your caldera set it off
As your body flows the second hand flashes passes
Over your skin like time
Anytime will do
I think I know now.
I know it. And I knew it, all along, perhaps, I suppose. It is all me.
Baddd Aiman, baddd.
Baddd Aiman, baddd.
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you'd die to heal
The hope that starts the broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you'd die to heal
The hope that starts the broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Cause she was his lover
She was his friend
He was her everything
Someone to depend
When she wakes up
In the mornin'
And all his things are gone
Sshe looks into the mirror
Thinkin' what did i do wrong
There he goes
But i gotta keep movin'
There ain't nothing
To lose for?
Everyday
Has it's ups and downs
You think you're lost
You will be found
Most of us
Want the same old things
Someone to love
What it brings
I know it's hard
It gets tough sometimes
You gotta hold on
Like a carousel
Going around
And around
And around
And around
She was so young
But she was in love
He promised her everything
That she could dream of
When she wakes up
In the mornin'
Finds that he ain't there
She looks into the mirror
Thinking how did i get here
There he goes
But i gotta keep movin'
There aint nothin'
To lose for?
Everyday has
It's ups and downs
You think you're lost
You will be found
Most of us
Want the same old things
Someone to love
What it brings
I know it's hard
It gets tough sometimes
You gotta hold on
Like a carousel
Ggoing around
And around
And around
And around
She was his friend
He was her everything
Someone to depend
When she wakes up
In the mornin'
And all his things are gone
Sshe looks into the mirror
Thinkin' what did i do wrong
There he goes
But i gotta keep movin'
There ain't nothing
To lose for?
Everyday
Has it's ups and downs
You think you're lost
You will be found
Most of us
Want the same old things
Someone to love
What it brings
I know it's hard
It gets tough sometimes
You gotta hold on
Like a carousel
Going around
And around
And around
And around
She was so young
But she was in love
He promised her everything
That she could dream of
When she wakes up
In the mornin'
Finds that he ain't there
She looks into the mirror
Thinking how did i get here
There he goes
But i gotta keep movin'
There aint nothin'
To lose for?
Everyday has
It's ups and downs
You think you're lost
You will be found
Most of us
Want the same old things
Someone to love
What it brings
I know it's hard
It gets tough sometimes
You gotta hold on
Like a carousel
Ggoing around
And around
And around
And around
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
- Am I more than you bargained for yet. I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear.Cause that's just who I am this week
- have faith in me, cause there are things that i have seen i dont believe.
- I'm so mean cuz cannot get you out of your head. I'm so angry cuz you'd rather my space instead
- I'll be your number one with a bullet. A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
- Drop a heart, break a name.
- so cling to what you know, and never let go. You should know things are not always what they seem.
- two very different, opposite individuals.
- like it or not, u have to like it. Learn at least.
- I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf. While jacking off listening to Mozart
- Secretly you you're so amused. And nobody understands you
-
- have faith in me, cause there are things that i have seen i dont believe.
- I'm so mean cuz cannot get you out of your head. I'm so angry cuz you'd rather my space instead
- I'll be your number one with a bullet. A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
- Drop a heart, break a name.
- so cling to what you know, and never let go. You should know things are not always what they seem.
- two very different, opposite individuals.
- like it or not, u have to like it. Learn at least.
- I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf. While jacking off listening to Mozart
- Secretly you you're so amused. And nobody understands you
-
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
I'll be the one who brings you coffee when you can't get up
I'll be the one who turns the light out when you go to sleep
I'll be the one who turns your stomach into something else and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say
I'll be the one who takes your coat off, one to take the blame
I'll be the one you call your lover, every now and then
You'll be the one who keeps me sober, one to keep me sane and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say it
And I'd cut my fingers to the bone,
And I'd split my sides in for you
Tonight, we throw ourselves away
And we make it every time
When I thought I was ok
You said I was alright
As the night comes crashing down
We catch ourselves a line
Yeah we're only makin' out
If we make it out alright
I'll be the one who stands beside you in the photograph
I'll be the one that's in your water when you want me there
I'll be the one you're falling over every time you laugh and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say
I'll be the one who keeps you guessing, who swears a lot
I'll be the one that let your colour in the white wash
You'll be the one that knocks the man out I was beating up and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say it
And you cut my face, I told you so
I'd tear my eyes out for you
Tonight, we throw ourselves away
And we make it every time
When I thought I was ok
You said I was alright
As the night comes crashing down
We catch ourselves a line
Yeah we're only makin' out
If we make it out alright
And I'd cut my fingers to the bone,
And I'd split my sides in for you
Tonight, we throw ourselves away
And we make it every time
When I thought I was ok
You said I was alright
As the night comes crashing down
We catch ourselves a line
Yeah we're only makin' out
If we make it out all right
I'll be the one who turns the light out when you go to sleep
I'll be the one who turns your stomach into something else and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say
I'll be the one who takes your coat off, one to take the blame
I'll be the one you call your lover, every now and then
You'll be the one who keeps me sober, one to keep me sane and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say it
And I'd cut my fingers to the bone,
And I'd split my sides in for you
Tonight, we throw ourselves away
And we make it every time
When I thought I was ok
You said I was alright
As the night comes crashing down
We catch ourselves a line
Yeah we're only makin' out
If we make it out alright
I'll be the one who stands beside you in the photograph
I'll be the one that's in your water when you want me there
I'll be the one you're falling over every time you laugh and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say
I'll be the one who keeps you guessing, who swears a lot
I'll be the one that let your colour in the white wash
You'll be the one that knocks the man out I was beating up and you say
Shut up, shut up, every time I say it
And you cut my face, I told you so
I'd tear my eyes out for you
Tonight, we throw ourselves away
And we make it every time
When I thought I was ok
You said I was alright
As the night comes crashing down
We catch ourselves a line
Yeah we're only makin' out
If we make it out alright
And I'd cut my fingers to the bone,
And I'd split my sides in for you
Tonight, we throw ourselves away
And we make it every time
When I thought I was ok
You said I was alright
As the night comes crashing down
We catch ourselves a line
Yeah we're only makin' out
If we make it out all right
Mid- Year Examination, 2011
and mind you, that would be my last mid year i will ever have in my whole life. damn man, last year in high school.
ok fine. i am depressed. hahahaha. do i sound psychotic enough ? no, i am not depressed. obviously. im fine, im ok, i still smile, i still laugh, i dont take pills tho i am yearning for my personal brand of heroine. heeeeee. like damnnn i wantttttt ! pergh. haha.
just, exam, y u so longggg ?????!!!!???? some may enjoy it, but fuck i dont anymore.
wth is wrong with my dad ? hahaha. no wth is wrong with me also. im not laughing but i was like wthhhh. haha
alright, anyways, dari mula exam lagi i felt it. now its like worse. ok fine, i have sth that i would like to admit. i miss u guys ! i miss u guys sooo much. i dont care whether u guys miss me or not, i just miss u guys. sbb at least dlu kalo xdak exam, we can still lepak2, wat kja gila2, mcm aritu maen air n stuff. we just have the time during classes. i just miss u guys. the only time we could talk skg is pagi2, itu pun kita pegang buku. we are just burying ourselves with books, well mestila, no choice, its exam, xkan kita still nk nganga n melepak n wat keja bodo lagi kan. serious la kejap. hence the no time of dulu2 punya time. ok another thing la, nevermind.
it hit me hard time study bio tdi, n i xbpa kisah la bout bio sbb it was nice. i know sometimes i study i akn blah n jalan2 so i wont be around. much. but tadi i sat with miss oh so gedik anis n lovely anusha n gelak2, teasing and making fun of each other. damn i miss it.
so here i would like to ask for sth. this may be too much, but if its ok, dgn muka xmalunya ni, i would like to spend some time with u guys. i know, incorporate study with it. trials sgtlah dekat dah. and trials is my golden ticket to kdu. if i screw that, i am screwing my life and screwing my scholarship. i just dont want and prefer not to stay at home sebab nnti kerja aku ialah membooyattt atas ktel n mengembang. yes i have the tendency to explode since i eat too much. haha. n yes mental depression since lack of human touch and people around me. haha. but seriously, no joke. i would be depressed if i were to just stay at home and not see people.
and also dear mr bf, hehehe, =) jomm na, kita study sama2. trials nk dkat. tpi enjoy tu ada la jgak. haha !
so grand plan for cuti ni, bgn tu plg lewat 9am. best is by 7 i should be up and about, moving my ass, hurmmm2, idk. study ? ok la study3. n then ptg2 kena amek fresh air. haha. i still want study in it but at the same time meluangkan masa2 dgn org yg tersayang spt my parents, mr bf, amalina, anis, sharon, n anusha. n the list goes on ? haha. n use occupy it by watching awesome movies. n hurrrm, i would like to shop. so yeah, i will spend. n spend. nnnnn spend.
my mother lost my cd player. >_< ok no big deal, its just a cd player saja, aku xguna pun, but come on, its a fucking cd player ! my fucking cd player ! aiyoooyo. what laaar.
and i want ice cream. and i want space. and i would like to be left and do anything i want to do.
rar rar rar.
ok fine. i am depressed. hahahaha. do i sound psychotic enough ? no, i am not depressed. obviously. im fine, im ok, i still smile, i still laugh, i dont take pills tho i am yearning for my personal brand of heroine. heeeeee. like damnnn i wantttttt ! pergh. haha.
just, exam, y u so longggg ?????!!!!???? some may enjoy it, but fuck i dont anymore.
wth is wrong with my dad ? hahaha. no wth is wrong with me also. im not laughing but i was like wthhhh. haha
alright, anyways, dari mula exam lagi i felt it. now its like worse. ok fine, i have sth that i would like to admit. i miss u guys ! i miss u guys sooo much. i dont care whether u guys miss me or not, i just miss u guys. sbb at least dlu kalo xdak exam, we can still lepak2, wat kja gila2, mcm aritu maen air n stuff. we just have the time during classes. i just miss u guys. the only time we could talk skg is pagi2, itu pun kita pegang buku. we are just burying ourselves with books, well mestila, no choice, its exam, xkan kita still nk nganga n melepak n wat keja bodo lagi kan. serious la kejap. hence the no time of dulu2 punya time. ok another thing la, nevermind.
it hit me hard time study bio tdi, n i xbpa kisah la bout bio sbb it was nice. i know sometimes i study i akn blah n jalan2 so i wont be around. much. but tadi i sat with miss oh so gedik anis n lovely anusha n gelak2, teasing and making fun of each other. damn i miss it.
so here i would like to ask for sth. this may be too much, but if its ok, dgn muka xmalunya ni, i would like to spend some time with u guys. i know, incorporate study with it. trials sgtlah dekat dah. and trials is my golden ticket to kdu. if i screw that, i am screwing my life and screwing my scholarship. i just dont want and prefer not to stay at home sebab nnti kerja aku ialah membooyattt atas ktel n mengembang. yes i have the tendency to explode since i eat too much. haha. n yes mental depression since lack of human touch and people around me. haha. but seriously, no joke. i would be depressed if i were to just stay at home and not see people.
and also dear mr bf, hehehe, =) jomm na, kita study sama2. trials nk dkat. tpi enjoy tu ada la jgak. haha !
so grand plan for cuti ni, bgn tu plg lewat 9am. best is by 7 i should be up and about, moving my ass, hurmmm2, idk. study ? ok la study3. n then ptg2 kena amek fresh air. haha. i still want study in it but at the same time meluangkan masa2 dgn org yg tersayang spt my parents, mr bf, amalina, anis, sharon, n anusha. n the list goes on ? haha. n use occupy it by watching awesome movies. n hurrrm, i would like to shop. so yeah, i will spend. n spend. nnnnn spend.
my mother lost my cd player. >_< ok no big deal, its just a cd player saja, aku xguna pun, but come on, its a fucking cd player ! my fucking cd player ! aiyoooyo. what laaar.
and i want ice cream. and i want space. and i would like to be left and do anything i want to do.
rar rar rar.
I throw my hands up in the air sometimes.
Saying, yes, I have to let go.
hold your horses.
please, oh please, let it end soon.
and give me the courage and strength.
give me the brains, too.
is it my hormones or is it because things are really quite getting out of hand ? or at least on the verge of yea whatever.
>_<
i am afraid of certain things in life. things i shouldnt be afraid of actually.
hold your horses.
please, oh please, let it end soon.
and give me the courage and strength.
give me the brains, too.
is it my hormones or is it because things are really quite getting out of hand ? or at least on the verge of yea whatever.
>_<
i am afraid of certain things in life. things i shouldnt be afraid of actually.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
sorang dok paksa aku study. sorang dok kata biaq la kat dia, dia nk buat apa.
dady, thank u, he is like its ok la, let her be la, leave her alone, she wants to release stress fiddling around with songs.
maaa, u paksa i study 10 jam pon xdak guna, sbb mmg xakan msok facts, satu, dua, mencederakan sel2 otak saya yang bijak ini.
dont worry, i will study sampai at 2 am. heee. esok bole g.
n ulalalalalalallal ! i may stay at home alone. muahahahhahahaha
dady, thank u, he is like its ok la, let her be la, leave her alone, she wants to release stress fiddling around with songs.
maaa, u paksa i study 10 jam pon xdak guna, sbb mmg xakan msok facts, satu, dua, mencederakan sel2 otak saya yang bijak ini.
dont worry, i will study sampai at 2 am. heee. esok bole g.
n ulalalalalalallal ! i may stay at home alone. muahahahhahahaha
Yes, I am crazy.
esok bio paper one and physics paper two and three. aku gila. dah la ttn xp, aku dok nganga dpan laptop, mmg aku nk cari pasai. bgoih !
this is oh so omg. suka !
I hope you're doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I've thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear
And living without you, and everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be, it could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
I can't take another day without you
'Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love and everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be it could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When you're not here
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
Everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be it could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be it could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
Swing life away
He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Started making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
Leaning now into the breeze remembering Sunday
He falls to his knees, they had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
And even though she doesn't believe in love
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother, but have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
There's a neighbor said, she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now
That all of these clouds are following me
In my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be
I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak but you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head
Well I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home
sebenarnya, they are goddamn fucking awesome bands di luar sana yang xjadi mainstream sebab yea one diorang nya music mmg susah nk masok mainstream melesia, itu satu. i know australia x, sbb i bukak radio diorg, i could be left with that for the rest of my life. i didnt even hear my mp3 di sana at all owkayy. dua, suma org dok pakat mainstream punya xsedap, aiyo, mana qualitinya. ok i respect beat box sebab mmg stai. but suma techno tah pa bnda, mmg aku bukan dasar clubbing. haha. xle nk menerima lagu spt black eyed peas yang dok repeat dua line for the whole song n yet msok radio n dok maen beribu kali sehari. like seriously, byk bands dlm youtube yg omg ok.
Euphoria, Elation.
Here we go again
I kinda wanna be more than friends
So take it easy on me
I'm afraid you're never satisfied.
Here we go again
We're sick like animals
We play pretend
You're just a cannibal
And I'm afraid I wont get out alive
No I won't sleep tonight
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are you waitin' for?
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight
Here we are again
I feel the chemicals kickin' in
It's gettin' heavier
I wanna run and hide
I wanna run and hide
I do it every time
You're killin' me now
And I won't be denied by you
The animal inside of you
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are you waitin' for?
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight
Hush, hush
The world is quiet
Hush, hush
We both can't fight it
It's us that made this mess
Why can't you understand?
Whoa, I won't sleep tonight
I wont sleep tonight
Here we go again
Here we go again
Here we go again
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are you waitin' for?
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
I kinda wanna be more than friends
So take it easy on me
I'm afraid you're never satisfied.
Here we go again
We're sick like animals
We play pretend
You're just a cannibal
And I'm afraid I wont get out alive
No I won't sleep tonight
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are you waitin' for?
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight
Here we are again
I feel the chemicals kickin' in
It's gettin' heavier
I wanna run and hide
I wanna run and hide
I do it every time
You're killin' me now
And I won't be denied by you
The animal inside of you
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are you waitin' for?
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight
Hush, hush
The world is quiet
Hush, hush
We both can't fight it
It's us that made this mess
Why can't you understand?
Whoa, I won't sleep tonight
I wont sleep tonight
Here we go again
Here we go again
Here we go again
Oh, oh
I want some more
Oh, oh
What are you waitin' for?
Take a bite of my heart tonight.
Oh oh
I want some more
Oh oh
What are you waitin' for?
What are you waitin' for?
Say goodbye to my heart tonight.
You say that Gainesville's got no soul
Well that sounds like a good excuse for coming home
And this Tallahassee skyline keeps singing out a song
Just know it's your song they've been singing.
So stay
So stay
Stay and watch the stars come out and then the sun as they all fade away
I'll sing you every song I know if it will make you want to stay
And then i'll say
That I missed you
And these words
They'll convince you, to stay
I poured through every song I wrote
Every line that I've cried every note that was split with this pen
And every line in every song, they all seemed to come out wrong,
Untill your song
So lets sing it all night long
And this Tallahassee skyline hasnt changed
While the view from every rooftop says to stay
So stay
Stay and watch the stars come out and then the sun as they all fade away
Ill sing you every song I know convince you to stay
And I could call you baby doll all the time
And youd whisper in my ears youd say i missed you boy
Now sing it over again, and over again, and over again,
And I could call you baby doll all the time
And youd whisper in my ears, youd say i missed you boy
Now sing it over again and over again, and over again
Well that sounds like a good excuse for coming home
And this Tallahassee skyline keeps singing out a song
Just know it's your song they've been singing.
So stay
So stay
Stay and watch the stars come out and then the sun as they all fade away
I'll sing you every song I know if it will make you want to stay
And then i'll say
That I missed you
And these words
They'll convince you, to stay
I poured through every song I wrote
Every line that I've cried every note that was split with this pen
And every line in every song, they all seemed to come out wrong,
Untill your song
So lets sing it all night long
And this Tallahassee skyline hasnt changed
While the view from every rooftop says to stay
So stay
Stay and watch the stars come out and then the sun as they all fade away
Ill sing you every song I know convince you to stay
And I could call you baby doll all the time
And youd whisper in my ears youd say i missed you boy
Now sing it over again, and over again, and over again,
And I could call you baby doll all the time
And youd whisper in my ears, youd say i missed you boy
Now sing it over again and over again, and over again
Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here
When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here
When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here
Ayat sungguh tragis.
haaa yeaaa, so whattttt,,,,, saya memang xberperasaaan. saya mmg xdak hati. saya heartless.
>_< saya heartless sungguh baru kamu tao.
>_< saya heartless sungguh baru kamu tao.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Your face
Lights up the sky on the highway
Someday
You share your world with me
Someday
You mesmerize me, with diamond eyes
I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright
But I am losing all control, my mind, my heart, my body and my soul.
Never in my life have I been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted and more
To speak or not too, where to begin
A great delema I'm finding myself thin
For all I know you only see me as a friend
I try to tell myself wake up fool
This fairy tale's got to end
Never in my life have a been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted...
Never in my life have I been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted and more
You're everything I wanted.
Lights up the sky on the highway
Someday
You share your world with me
Someday
You mesmerize me, with diamond eyes
I try to fool myself to think I'll be alright
But I am losing all control, my mind, my heart, my body and my soul.
Never in my life have I been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted and more
To speak or not too, where to begin
A great delema I'm finding myself thin
For all I know you only see me as a friend
I try to tell myself wake up fool
This fairy tale's got to end
Never in my life have a been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted...
Never in my life have I been more sure
So come on up to me and close the door
Nobody's made me feel this way before
You're everything I wanted and more
You're everything I wanted.
Shit wth sex ???
im lovin it.just do it.finger lickin gud.like no other.ask for more.delighting u always.cuba relate suma di ats dgn sex lol.
Hahahahaha!!! Hot sex!!!!
Da fuck? Le f.
Hahahahaha!!! Hot sex!!!!
Da fuck? Le f.
i get paid rm 100 for this ? bodo la bodo la bodo la ! bodoooooo !!!! aku xsukaaaa !
bole x tinggalkan aku sorg2 n aku nk study physics sebelum aku nges. like fucking seriously. aku nk nges. bila aku mau study, xmo kacao, ni bila aku nk study btui2 mcm ngn tttoottttt. aaaaaaa benci ! lpas tu result aku mcm c** b** mai la bising. lantak la bila2 pon aku nk study, yea aku suka study last minit, biaq p laaaaaa ~ adoiii.
yea, i know i screwed up. len kali book la tiket baih seniri. xpayah dok suro aku buat. kan senang. maraliner bodo ! call pon xreti2 nk angkat. bodo
n u keep saying u dont want to waste my fucking time on this, fuck.
bole x tinggalkan aku sorg2 n aku nk study physics sebelum aku nges. like fucking seriously. aku nk nges. bila aku mau study, xmo kacao, ni bila aku nk study btui2 mcm ngn tttoottttt. aaaaaaa benci ! lpas tu result aku mcm c** b** mai la bising. lantak la bila2 pon aku nk study, yea aku suka study last minit, biaq p laaaaaa ~ adoiii.
yea, i know i screwed up. len kali book la tiket baih seniri. xpayah dok suro aku buat. kan senang. maraliner bodo ! call pon xreti2 nk angkat. bodo
n u keep saying u dont want to waste my fucking time on this, fuck.
You, your sex is on fire Consumed with what's to transpire
Lay where you're laying, don't make a sound
I know they're watching, they're watching
I know they're watching, they're watching
Dear Future Girlfriend,
I’ve already come across many nice girls, all of them gorgeous in their own way, but like you, I am still searching. I don’t think it’ll be too hard, because I don’t really demand too much- after all, I am not looking for Ms. Perfect, I am looking for Ms. Right. Physically, you may be the simplest girl in the room, but there has to be that certain something about you that I find charming. It will be nice, of course, if you have positive attitude and an interesting personality. I hope that you can be understanding and supportive of the things I do and the things that are important to me. It will be great if you can make me laugh! There are no dull moments with someone that I know is funny. I want our relationship to be filled with excitement and surprises- I don’t want anything stagnant; I don’t want “just okay”. One of my weaknesses is the sweetness of a girl. If you can find a way to cheer me up after a long bad day, that would really make me feel good. I will also appreciate if you text me sweet stuff. I’d like to wake up to a good morning message from you, and go to bed at the end of the day after hearing you say goodnight. Another thing you should know: I believe that the best relationships always start from friendship. I want to be able to talk to you, be silly with you, and simply hang out with you. I want you to value the “friend” part of being my girlfriend. I also want us to share each other’s life, and I don’t want everything to be just about the two of us. I want our relationship to extend to other aspects of our lives, including our friends, family, and most of all GOD. A relationship will last only if we accept both the good and bad things about each other. Despite all the criteria I’ve mentioned above, I want to make it clear that I don’t want you to change a single thing about yourself just to please me. Losing your identity and turning into someone completely different is not necessary. Relax, I already like you, and I like you for who you truly are. I am looking forward to meeting you, and I know that one of these days, I will. I trust that we’ll find each other soon, and when that time comes, I know you’ll prove to me that you were definitely worth to wait.
Your Future Boyfriend
* waaa *
wow ?
AUGUST=ATTITUDE
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. self control. kind hearted. Self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of “that someone”. longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by “no pain no gain” caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. “charming” or “beautiful” to everyone. stubborn. curious.. independent. strong willed. a fighter.
pffftttt ~
MAY=LOVER
Hella sexy, loves sex n making luv, tends to be SOOOOO hott!! Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.
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