We are no longer kids and so we have to grow up now.

I think I have the rights to say things like, Oh I like that, oh I dont like that, damn I hate that thing, oh gawddd, that is so not my thangg. Hey, I am human ok, ada hati, ada perasaan. So maybe thats the problem, I keep saying things like, oh xpala, nak wat mcm mna, or yeah, what to do kan, things are like that, kena terima ja, or its ok u know even clearly its not. Or clearly even I deserve wayyy betterr than that .and when I start voicing out, start showing my emotions, macam tu lah jadi dia. culture shock la kan sudeny aiman ada emotions and dia tunjuk depan2. Maaybe thats the thing, I have to stop altering things, adjusting things, stop all those till I forget to care about myself. TIll I forget to feed myself with thing I should be living and enjoying with. Till I forget whats my stand, I forget what I believe and fight for. I need to have my own stand and say things out loud. I dont like the feeling of almost like, being pushed around, being squashed, not being valued or appreciated, as if I am like a puppet with strings attached all over my body parts. I am not and I would like to be treated well, as it is. As I do. So all those has to stop, it has to come to an end. soon. We all, each and everyone of us has our very own level of patience and accepting others. Mine is done. I dont want to try anymore.