I have been understanding and not self-centered enough all this while

You see the book, now u dont see it anymore. For the mean time. I have lots of books that need to be read and reread rather than this book. So i will put it aside. If thats what u call as weak and not facing facts of life, yes i admit, im weak, im not strong, im not ready for this. I know i can do it and i can survive but im so stubborn and idk, i just dont want it. Theres still that something. And i hope that that something is really real, not just a mere illusion just to make me feel happy as a temporary hide out. I had and act still have choices. Act in any time in life, u will always have choices. Its just the degree of damage that has and will be done later on. So i chose this. Id go thru it. With some things that i keep holding on and have in me. The rest i leave it to u. I hope ive done my best. Tho i know i havent but im no catwoman. This is just not it. This isnt it. I havent conquered the world yet. Its all up to u. I hope God gives me courage and strength to go thru this and still walk around with my head held up high despite all the things around me.