Grilled.

- im 17 now. and theres still lots more for me to learn and see. especially about people. people come in different forms, shapes and sized. making it worst their attitude and their thinking and perceptions. i dont understand certain type of guys. now this in a marriage. who treat their woman like some kind of piece of crap. they treat their woman as if they have and are nothing. making it as if u know, once ur married with me, ur tied with me forever, if i leave u or if u try to leave me, ul rot to die. bullshit. we are independent, we are an individual, married with a man doesnt make us less of us or anything. we can survive without a sickening man like u, who treat woman badly. we are indeed better of without u. yes, marriage at some point for sex but dont treat us like ur only sex slave. its ok if u really take us as ur one and only sex slave, whats f is u go out there and jolly with somebody else. i hope u get std. u marry a woman, treat her like u want to be treated. who do u think u are.

- but on the other hand, guys are guys. they are like girls at some point. we are all human, just different sexes. they have fears, insecurities, worries, depressions, all sorts, even mini pms like how we girls do. we are just almost the same. we all share the same thing. its either we express it or not. and its whether the other partner understands it or not.

- u, move on, let go. u call her sick, u call her an asshole but i know u would beg her to stay. wtf is wrong with u. yeah she is sick anyways, why do u still ask her for help. why dont u just learn.

- educators. u are suppose to educate, not to pick on people who are different, i am sorry for not being the normal typical malay girls who barely say anything at all. im sorry for not being typical malay. im sorry im not friends with them bcuz i dont seem to get a long very well with them. i am sorry for being very close to the non malays bcuz i feel more like home if i do so. im sory if im too close with the non malays but damn heck they are awesome. im sorry for having a bf at the age of 17 and is happily with him for 9 months now and my parents n family dont mind about that. im sorry but im not normal.

so just bcuz im not normal, doesnt mean u have to aim at me and pick on me. or even others who just dont fit in the 'society' yes, indeed, i am not the top 10 scores for form five ( and didnt do well at all, even, n that i am not proud of ) or a genius in school but at least i m not screwed up big time like getting involved in social problems or lying to my parents that im not in a relationship and being plastic or smoking or loitering arouund. that u dont see ? that u dont care ? that u dont give a fuck ? i still do pass up my work, i do my work tho i dont pay att in some classes bcuz its just damn stupid. i still do score, tho not the best among the best, i am doing it. even if u would want to pick, just dont, nak nasihat tu nasihat la macam ustaz khalid. i like that more. i know niat dia baek. bukan nya nk duduk satu group dlm blilik guru, cicah apple dgn kuah rojak, n mengata kami suma. bgoih an.

i am not changing or altering myself just to fit in the 'society'. that is not me.

- not talking during assemblies ? for gods sake, i can see a teacher sleeping nicely under the comfort of a fan and a cushioned chair on their asses. and some chit chat worse than us. that ? i und formalities but i dont und why we need to stand under the hot sun to listen to craps. making it worse we cant even read a book.

- ive heard someone said to me, u are not suppose to be like this. u are not suppose to behave like this. dudee, then what do u want me to be ? how do u want me to be ? fake ? plastic ? be that oh so lembut, demure, soft spoken, yang suma org boleh pijak ats kepala kamu mcm tu ? be so naive, be so close minded, be so not expressing ur thoughts. yes, i know im loud, sometimes very straightforward but at least i am honest and sincere to myself. u nak ka pompuan yg fake sgt, who can hardly be honest to herself, more so to u. pnah fikir? shes not even honest to herself, nak honest dkat kamu buat apa kan ? if ur asking me to be like that, damn, its already hard to be my real self and fit in, now ur asking me to be completely somebody who is the opposite of me ? go and check urself !

- blonde, brunette, make ups, plastics. get a life. u fikir dgn make up setebal tepung tu akan bwk u kemana ? pdhal 1+1 pon bole dapat lima. do u think ur getting anywhere with just that ? well u may sell urself, thats all ur good at. get guys attention. ur trying so hard but ur making urself look like a fool. sma jgak kpada mamat2 yg muka hensem smpai boleh cayaq, tapi prangai mcm ngn apa, ur not going anywhere with that.