It is normal to get up in the morning and have the few second of le blank moments coz you just got up. Then, when your senses starts kicking in, for me, I call it first thoughts right affter you are actually alive to the world. It might be, I thank god for giving me a chance for waking up again today or either you panicked coz you forgot or late for sth or the stuff that happened yesterday.
As for me, its either sth that has happened that I do not ever wish to see or know, simply because I just dont want to know, because either I dont have it or I cant feel it or things like that, or things that hasnt happen or sth that is just in my mind, yeap, it is only an image that I created in my mind that I am just afraid of or freaked out about. That even by any case, might or might not happen at all. Traumatized by certain things ? Perhaps. Sigh.
Be it if I am cleaning the house or busying myself, still it wont work. Yeah, cramming myself with loud music works, sometimes. That thought would still be stuck in my head and it is putting pressure in my brain. So, maybe I just need to engage in conversations, by all means, a non-stop blabbering conversation just to block my mind from my unwanted thoughts.
And my only hope is to fall asleep at night and hope that tomorrow morning, I would get up with wanted thoughts instead of unwanted thoughts. So, I guess now I need to focus on how to control my mind pulak. doi.
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