Who are you now if your father wasn't around? I wonder

It is ok, what comes around goes around. You have the world now in your hands, or so family and kids, just wait a little more, or fine, 10, 15 years (that is a long way to go) then lets see what happens. 

Another brick in the wall

Frustnya aku. Apa masalah hang? Hang ka yang skg ni dok cuba susah payah, bukan skrang, selama ni even. Hang buat apaa? 

Like what? It really just wears me of. 

Oh you love eye bags?

I will give you some eye bags

Perlukah di setiap post meletakkan =') ? 

Susah lah

Susah. Semua cara rasa susah. Nak cakap pun xbole, tak cakap pun xbole. Nak tanya lagi xbole nanti salah pulak. I dont know what is really going on or what lies underneath it. I dont read minds you know. And it bother me a lot. Dont waste my time again. 

What is my point taking journalism, again? 

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head

They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone

Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?

And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?

And will you never try to reach me?

It is I that wanted space

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with

The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again

In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night

While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight

You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate

You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take

So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind

And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave

Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made

And like a baby boy I never was a man

Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand

And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”

Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be

And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

All the commotion, that came with a pay. Have they started talking?

Oh so silently we go

I am just a notification on your phone

Now you are just somebody that I used to know

You make an easy job hard

You make an easy job hard

Not given a book, but 

Time and words

Tears and arguments 

Laughters and talks

Playfullness and memories

Has no meaning for you

Has no change for you 

Then what are those to you ? 

You make an easy job hard

You are still the same

You are the same as I have met you a year ago 

You shout it out
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium

Cut me down
But it's you who has further to fall
Ghost town, haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud not saying much

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
I am titanium

Stone-hard, machine guns
Firing at the ones who run
Stone-hard, those bulletproof glass

You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium

How privileged are we to be Malays ?

I think the right question is how ashamed are we to be the privileged malays ? 

There are things that I would like you to decide for me and there are things that I would like you to stay out of it. But most of the times, you always decide on things that I should be deciding for myself and not deciding or taking charge on things that I wish at times you would say something about it. I know it is great to always have a choice but dang am I the only one who wants this ? 

Would death by chocolate satisfy my hunger now ?

I hate it when I tend to say this, why is it that A cant do it but B can do it? Why is it that B can always do better than A ? And why cant A put more effort to be in line with B, or just do better ? Why ? 

Im sick to my stomach thinking where is your brain why would you do such thang u are suppose to know better yet you seem like you are trashing them. N wtf i know i am in no position to bring this matter up nor talk about it. You are suppose to know all and be the best and do the best. I cant say that i will do a better job than you but i can say that at least i wont do it like that. That i am very sure of. 

Mistakes make who we are now. Are you happy with the mistakes you did? Where did it bring you?

A conversation

It all depends. Some are the ones that can make me forget about everything. But some are the ones who make me think about everything. Then i am left with this heavy feeling of wishing that i never knew about it, that i never knew more about it, then i am actually not bothered to know about it, that i actually did not take a step further in asking about it. List goes on. I think now, why am I a part of this ? And why do I always think about this and this way only? Why is it ever an issue for me anways ? An issue that should not have arised and that this is all nonsense. But I cant seem to get over it. And til now, I cant seem to pinpoint what is the real reason to why I am feeling all of these. Erghhhh. If I ever do tell someone about this, they must think I am crazy. Well, i guess so. 

Sigh. I still dont feel it