Where is my life? Where is mine ?

Why now at this time. Of all the time. I know i chose this. Part of it i am stubborn, i do not want to bow, i do not want to compromise. I have had enuf of those and now i want people to bow to me and do as i say. Cant u do that for me just for a little while ? I knw no doubt it is difficult, but i have done it, i have been there, i have done it and got out of it. Alive. But that is me. I know. Part of me refuses to let go. Left right centre either way i would be angry at almost anything, be it relevant or not. Part of me still wants it, still wants to stick with it, live as it is, as normal as i can be. If only I could do it. If only.