I am counting the days. To stop being mean to people and myself.

I need to stay away from as many things as I can. Call me an introvert, I dont mind right now coz I think thats the best for me. Do I want something new to get by ? Maybe not coz new things, I need to familiarize and to understand hence it needs effort and I am in no interest of putting effort. What I want perhaps is to go back to a place where I once felt fine, I know what I want for now that can help. I might havve reached the maximum level of the amount of fish that I give to anything right now. I feel now, I cant afford to listen to your crap unless it is real messed up crap like you have a problem, then I am more than glad to do something for you. I dont want to hear and am tired of closing my ears and or pretending I am not seeing things that I dont like because if it comes to me, every lil thing I do is and will be taken into account and would be used against me. I am tired of putting alll the blame on me, myself, for all this while. I now would like to say, this is because of you, or it is your fault, or because you did it so it is payback time, and all sorts of things like that. I am now not in the state of being understanding coz all this while I have been and well, I should not have been understanding in the first place anyways. I dont feel like putting up with people saying all sorts of things right at my face unless all you want is a conversation, a good one. I am not saying it is too late but do it, handle it at your own risk. I cant help to bother and think about myself now. I dont mean to turn into a heartless creature but I cant help it. I am not a slave nor a servant of your craps. I would also want to be treated as how I should be, breathe, feel the air, I would want all those too.