I hope one day those words would come creeping and crawling on you and would strangle you and squeeze the life out of you, just for a minute would do. I hope one day when everything is on your shoulders and worst you have to fake a smile and laugh and hold on and act as if you are oh so okey and all you want to do and need so badly is just go to that someone and that someone does not do anything in return. I wish one day I have the guts and the hearts to do that in return. I wish one day I can be as selfish as I can be and all I think is about my wants and my condition instead of thinking about other peoples feelings. I do not want to care about whether you have a problem or not, whether you need a shoulder to cry on or or in need of attention or a pair of ears or just a comforting hug, whether you would like or fit to hear of something or be it you are darn sleepy or tired. What do I care right ? Yeah, thats right. Other peoples wants and needs must come before you. Well you know, that is bullshit. No one is actually, just trust me, and bare this in your sane mind, would want to go the extra mile for you, would want to actually waste their bloody precious time and go all out for you, would actually care to at least appreciate or at most realize that you have done so much for that person, in just a little hope, you would actually get some gratitude, and worst of, a lilllll of something in return. Nope. Nothing. Nada. I dont mean em rather to say mengungkit but come on aiteee? Cuba la ingat balek if it does not take so much of the precious time of urs.Yes, the world is a vampire. You like it or not, you take your broken pieces of the floor, get glue stick or uhu gum, and start mending yourself. If you are just going to stand there in hope somebody would want to do it for you, u can dreammm aite. And all I hear is the same bloody damn thing all day long, since these couple of days. SO I am trying very hard not to be an angel to be precise but to be a good person and to care for other needs at this moment. So I might want to take my imaginary gun and shoot all of your brains off and shout at your face and say every little tiny thing that I have in my mind for all these while. So maybe then you would want to say calm down to me. And what are words, even if you can make a thousand page essay, what are words ? Words are just meaningless if you dont put your heart or your effort or actions into it. So why dont you save your saliva and keep it to yourself rather than keeping ones hope high up then crush em down again. Yes you forgive, you forget, you accept, you move on with life. No I dont especially when it comes to emotional needs, to support, I dont. To compare what I dont get and what you dont get, I would rather be you rather than be me in this situation. Yes, all in all. I am a good kitty. I keep my claws well, right under my pretty paws. meow.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Instead of focusing on what I dont have, I dont think I want to focus on what I have coz its rather useless too. Why not focus on school and studies now. Rest is I dont care. If you do, thank you very much, you dont, theres the door.
I hope one day those words would come creeping and crawling on you and would strangle you and squeeze the life out of you, just for a minute would do. I hope one day when everything is on your shoulders and worst you have to fake a smile and laugh and hold on and act as if you are oh so okey and all you want to do and need so badly is just go to that someone and that someone does not do anything in return. I wish one day I have the guts and the hearts to do that in return. I wish one day I can be as selfish as I can be and all I think is about my wants and my condition instead of thinking about other peoples feelings. I do not want to care about whether you have a problem or not, whether you need a shoulder to cry on or or in need of attention or a pair of ears or just a comforting hug, whether you would like or fit to hear of something or be it you are darn sleepy or tired. What do I care right ? Yeah, thats right. Other peoples wants and needs must come before you. Well you know, that is bullshit. No one is actually, just trust me, and bare this in your sane mind, would want to go the extra mile for you, would want to actually waste their bloody precious time and go all out for you, would actually care to at least appreciate or at most realize that you have done so much for that person, in just a little hope, you would actually get some gratitude, and worst of, a lilllll of something in return. Nope. Nothing. Nada. I dont mean em rather to say mengungkit but come on aiteee? Cuba la ingat balek if it does not take so much of the precious time of urs.Yes, the world is a vampire. You like it or not, you take your broken pieces of the floor, get glue stick or uhu gum, and start mending yourself. If you are just going to stand there in hope somebody would want to do it for you, u can dreammm aite. And all I hear is the same bloody damn thing all day long, since these couple of days. SO I am trying very hard not to be an angel to be precise but to be a good person and to care for other needs at this moment. So I might want to take my imaginary gun and shoot all of your brains off and shout at your face and say every little tiny thing that I have in my mind for all these while. So maybe then you would want to say calm down to me. And what are words, even if you can make a thousand page essay, what are words ? Words are just meaningless if you dont put your heart or your effort or actions into it. So why dont you save your saliva and keep it to yourself rather than keeping ones hope high up then crush em down again. Yes you forgive, you forget, you accept, you move on with life. No I dont especially when it comes to emotional needs, to support, I dont. To compare what I dont get and what you dont get, I would rather be you rather than be me in this situation. Yes, all in all. I am a good kitty. I keep my claws well, right under my pretty paws. meow.
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