Firstly, I really frankly wont and do not put any effort in life. Especially in this thing, I dont see what is the point of to actually putting effort in this thing. I am not saying my efforts are bloody precious, they are not actually. But I just dont feel like it. I am not trying to be an egoistic person ka or who thinks that by doing so would totally cemarkan maruah diri sendiri, tidak sama sekali. I paham, people say, if you dont do it, or expects that the other would do it, sampai ke bila kan dua2 dok tunggu ja. But in this, I think I am the only one who is waitin. And that I am the only one who is devastated and sad and who actually bothers to mend things. I know you dont give a shit. So why should I try ?
And kesian. apa ka benda kesian. If its so, meaning I need to kesian everyone like that ka ? Bullshit la kan. Get a grip of your life la. Aku tak nampak the relevance of nak kesian orang macam tu skang ni. Bek aku p kesian kucing kat dalam longkang under hujan lebat. That is what I call kesian. Buat apa nak kesian orang yang xreti appreciate, tak kenang budi,tak sedar diri benda2 camtu.
The trend these days. not to say trend but it happens a lot and kinda common already. because macam, ok, what is the point of dapat degree, masters pa benda suma, tapi bila nak kuar, tak reti nak communicate, tak reti nak present yourself. Macam ni la jugak, rasa macam tak dak guna suma education tu. I pray hard to God that I wont end up like that. And actually, I am glad sebab I get to see and learn from this.
Yes, God is great. What comes around goes around. There is always the karma and effects. And afterall, what is there in the word comfort if you can get comfort in anywhere. Even a box of dark chocolate can be called as comfort. So what is there in me ? I know I am nobody and not needed.
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