To say and admit that I have completely taken over of myself and things around me, I am lieing to you. I dont just simply sign in and sign out of things and feelings like a click with ur mouse. I dont. Im not a robot. Oh I wish I do. I wish I know how to pretend, how to fake things. I dont mind that.
But to say I am not trying, dudeee ! ur wrong. hehe. I know, its been like, almost two months now, day in and day out. I know its never to late to take a ride and catch your life back. And I am. baby steps. And it actually started just yesterday la. I am unpacking. I have started driving. I have started cooking. And I am mentally giving myself advices constantly haha. So, I hope it remains because I am sick being sick.
And I hear that patience is the key. Thattt, is a huge problem for me. I dont have patiencce. So it doesnt work on me. So rather than patience, why dont we say, Staying calm is the key. for me.
And we all know, the grass izz alwayzz greener on the other side. So what the heck. I am on th other side already. So I have to admit. I have everything here and I am grateful.
And the best girlfriend I have is my mom. =)
And so, yeah, I am in the present, by all means, its reality. I have to stop living in the pass. I know that, if I dont like the past, or might be the future, theres nothing I can do cause noooobody can change the past. So I have to face facts of the past, suka atau tidak, hurts atau tidak, I have to. So, since I cant change the past, why dont I change my attitude towards it aitee.
Yes, I quit crying my eyeballs out. I quit being a pathetic jerk, asshole, saddening, hopeless girl, anything that you can name actually. I quit caring so much and feel so much. I quit taking note of small little things that wont do me any good at all. I quit the past. All I want now is the present and the future. Period.
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