It makes me feel even worse.

I never knew it is that hard to emmmmm, to harsh to be said.

Someday,somehow I will have to grow out of it. I need to talk to somebody who is willing to draw me a map and a flow chart to get me along with this. A shrink ?

I know who to ask, it is out of the blue but I know you would do best in this. But what saddens me is, why not the other one ? why not u ? Why u no like that.