Adolescents.

Yeah, what a joke. A smile ? heh. dah la kot. aku dah bosan. yes, I miss a lot of people. School most of it. For the fact that kdu is far away, aint helping me. And to hear what anis said bout kdu, damn it, u serious ? Why yall sound so racist ? I hope when I go there, well, I just hope it is not like that. Yes honey, I feel death. Yes, the boredom, the sadness, the not socializing, the everything, it is eating me up slowly. And nothing, not even you can help me, only myself.

Yes, i know it is not healthy, obviously to be like me right now. Depression, a bit, not looking forward, feeling very hopeless, stupid, crave for never ending stupid attention, very the very yes, gets upset even for the tiniest reason, yes. I just wish I am like me, i mean the old me. Who doesnt care about anything. apa nak wat pon wat la. tak dak nak kisah orang rasa pa ka saket hati ka makan hati ka. xperlu la nak kisah. who wouldnt bother to do or cater or to change for someone. and by all means, I know change is good, look at me now, I know I have gotten better. Who would really do best in pretending that she is ok. Yes, it is getting worse. I have lost the ability to pretend that I am ok and to ignore things unless I say it out loud. what the shit is that. Yes, I would rather keep things burried inside me and just let it die, sooner or later.

Having the urge of saying almost everything out lout or having it out in the open is just not what I like right now. It takes a lot of effort and it bothers me. Why cant I just live like last time where I hardly say a word, yes, I keep things bottled up inside me and now I prefer it that way so then I wont be so over sensitive or bothered by even the smallest, stupidest, tiniest thing. sigh. why. I want to be me again. the normal, old me. please come back to me.

keep sanity intact. Thats the most meaningful phrase I have ever heard by far. thank u. keep it together. keep holding on.

Yes, I am leaving in two days. no, the last thing I want to feel before leaving for bangkok is getting angry at some certain someone. And that means I will be realllyyy2 mad at u. yes, tho I am not looking forward for things, I am trying to look forward for this. This opportunity wont come twice. I know I have been complaining that i am not going on vacation or anywhere far. So this is it. I wish i have a switch to literally shut off or forget about everything here including everyone here so then I can just be me, or a new me or a more calmer me there. I jsut want to be happy there, and when I come back, I do hope things would be better. Not to say things are totally crappy, just are not to my liking. I just have to suck it up and grow up.


ADOLESCENT -
is a transitional stage of physical and mental human development generally occurring between puberty and legal adulthood but largely characterized as beginning and ending with the teenage stage.

Please just end fast.