Where is my hibernate button ?

At this point in time, I just feel like crap. I know, no, I am not using the word bored or boring here, time is definitely your friend right now, you could be sleeping for the next 24 hours, and nobody would ever care. But for me, no, I cannot and that things I want to do, I cannot do. Like no this, no that, I cannot even hang with a human for like half an hour and getting scolded for that, like hurh ? seriously, eff your perception, why cant I live with my own perception ? 

My point here is, I miss the need of getting up and dragging yourself out of bed at 610am every sunday till thursday, bathe, get dressed with your high school uniform, eat your breakfast or u might die during the journey to school, get in the car with ur sad and sulking face, and voila, school. doesnt the word 'school' at this moment brings a smile on ur face ? well, it does for me, this time.

I am not bored of what, but I am bored because of lack of human touch and contact. And by all means I dont mean touchinnngg2 haha I mean talk,chat,mingle, meet, communicate, u know those sorta things you get when u go to school. Those crapps, those gossips, those stupid jokes, those teasing, laughs, oh damnnn. Yeah, that, I am yearning for that. I just need some time alone you know, not alone from everybody, but alone from home, from people I always see. Yeah, friends are the ones whom I dont always see, so I would really love that right now.

I just feel that, I see no reason to my erm, whats the word, to my living body here right now. I eat, sheet, sleep, pee, thats all, dont exercise, aint loosing my flabs, aint swimming, nothinggg, nadaaa. ok la sapa suroh lazy. I just feel so aimless. no purpose. Like what is my point here for going thru my days ? I lack of drive. Like last time, aim for the day, either try not to kill anyone due to raging hormones, or your ultimate plan for skipping class and hoping that the teacher will not realize it and getting caught, or sleep in the class and pray you can sleep more, eat as much as you can in class without getting caught, or just simply survive bm class till 250 or 210 without cursing at her or sleeping and dieing. If you have tuition pulak, try to survive during tuition class and drinking a lottt of water without peeing. and oh chewing gum also. And banyak lagi crappish purpose going to school. bare with the hurtful yet very funny jokes, and at the end of the day you say, yeap, I surviveddd.

Right now, I just dont see my purpose. Maybe all I need, no, maybe the purpose is just to simply move on with life. Oh how I wish KDU is somewhat somesort next week la, I just need to be around with people. Bleghhhhhhhhhhh !

I, Aiman Rizal, is admitting that she totally misses her school and her friends.

And no, I am not ready for things.