I hope I didnt loose or miss anything.

Its complicated. I dont know what I feel or what I want or what I wana do actually. Some part id like to say, i wish u knew how u made me feel and how I felt and how ive been going thru, while u were out there. some said, i wish you can take everything back, or, yeah, pay it back, give me back the time, give me back my time that i should have, i want u to pay it back for me. due to well, unfairness and me not being outspoken enough, or wasnt even, at all. I wish i tried harder to get not what i want, but what i really need. I wish I fought for it and not just wait and see how things were. I wish i was in control of myself. What i needed the most, as essential part of my life. some say, i may want u to feel it back. i just dont know.