Sooo, yeah, I figured out, tinggai three more subjects. chem, bio n accounts. Not the heavy ones, well, i mean not the one that I am aiming for. But still, I have four days to study, it would be nice to see having 10 as in my result slip later, its fine if its a plus, a minus and a, but still, its perty good to me. But yeah, I just hope I can make it thru. kejapp ja lagi.
And yeah, I have to help myself, I have to fix myself, because if i dont do it, who will ?
Right after accounts paper, I would be going thru a couple of things. mcm la besaq sgt, haha. No, of coz I am not ready. I will never be. I would have to get out of my comfort zone of spm and face reality and think about my life. My future plans, my stand, what I want, what I do not want in my life. Simply we say, shape my life and not regret.
But nvm that, ill grow up and grow some balls to face it if things around me are not helping me. I cant promise you that I wont be breaking down once in a while, might be a little selfish, might make wrong decisions or wrong turns, might say or do things that I dont mean to, might give up and fed up every once in a while, well, the list goes on, haha.
But, at least I am saying that I will try to be more matured, more adultish haha, be understanding, be strong, be rational, be a listener, not thattt selfish, help around a lil bit more, care less, give more, expect less, be prepared, be diplomatic, be fair too. And I will try to make everyone happy. And enjoy my last days here.
You say it is difficult, it is hard. Lets be me and be in my shoes. Where yeah, my wants and dreams are as same as yours, are as same as other 17 year olds, but there is nothing I can do about it. You are lucky enough to have the luxuries to do it and have it. I want it badly, let me tell you, more than Iphone 4S, haha, but I just simply cannot get it. If I try to get it, I might be taken as a bad person and said have been influenced what the shit crap. I dont know how am I going thru this, but I will. Yeah, the older I get, the more things I want and the more I tend to misbehave. Instead of acting like a child and misbehave, there must be other way to approach this matter. So yeah, I dont want to feel from bad to worse, why dont just be there and hang in there for a moment. be with me. I am the one who is stuck in this crap anyways.
And I figured out that, hurm, its not like clay, or a mold, where you can shape and make it as how you wish. simply to say, you cannot control a Sony bravia tv with a samsung remote control.
And maybe, unlike last time, I dont express my disappointment and anger that much anymore. ok la, cut the crap, i do haha. I figured out that I need to be patient and wait. Earn it. Not something that I can simply get just like that. And dare not to ask more because i try to be appreciative of all the things that i have rite now. And be grateful that I at least have something rather than nothing.
And yeah, work harder. not work as in workk, but face things. harder. double. thats shit, i know. i dont quite like it. its like I have to deal with myself, and deal with others too. And to top it all of, I really need to act cool. haha.
Anyways, lets cheming and bioing. You should not have started it in the first place.
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