Hurm, random2. Do not bother my oh-so-pathetic-and-still-so-sad-17-year-old-hormones that I cannot seem to get a grip of.
Nope, I am not feeling content nor cloud nine about things around me.
I do feel well, terbiaq ? not terbiar, thats not the word, I know why but its just shit, ok, shit ? And I am trying not to blame right now tho I wish I can and idk la kan. Idky I think that way, some might say its right, I dont know which part I belong to. hmph. ok fine, I blame myself for this, i make mistakes, this is my fault, my mistake, I should have known and know the lines, in the future, I need to set things straight and to never let anyone cross that line of mine. Talking about being yourself and human rights i suppose.
Every single damn thing is ending one by one. First its my Physics class, Mr Phua. Yes I love him and he was the first adult whom I approached when I almost fainted coz of my trials results. and its physics dude, that is like the only thing i kinda like and that i can kinda do tu pun nyawa2 ikan and yeah, idk, its heavy for me, and wishing that I could say oh please, stop, I would like to learn more from you. And then now is Cikgu Aziz, need I say more ? nopeeee.
And many, school for instance, ok fine I HATE SCHOOL. mmg, ibrahim milik rizal. but ill miss it, not the school, but the people. I have some that I have in my head la yang I will totally miss. haih. its,just,so,sad. damn it sucks, ok. And to start it all of with are you willing to have a crapish talk with me ? hahaha
And that thing, for gods sake, we are in the same school, and idk that. no, its not a big deal at all but sorry but it gives me quite a big picture of the life later on, the future. what would it be if i were to be in a different state now ? I think I have to ask every single living, well every single thing that I can ever think of. And oh please, I hope I dont have to la.
i am worried that i am not worried about spm. ada la rasa bahang kehangatannya, but tak cukup g, aku stil bole pakai bikini and say the heat is not even tanning my skin ! i can still sleep for four hours straight, konon nak revive myself, and wait for hallow scream every nite till 2am just to watch a stupid movie that shrinks ur balls and bladders. yeap, tak dak nilai pon cita2 tu, well ada la ckit. mostly is, what comes around goes around, kita nak wat jhat, igtlah akibat dia, tuja. great, just great.
where is my neutral feeling when i need it the most. wheres the chocolaate cake when i really need it the most.
And then kalo aku p tnya orang len, aku dpt tau laen, mau la keluaq perkataan retard.
And in the end, we say, keep calm. haha. look who is saying.
And i had ? have, have visions of how I was when I moved here from pg to sp. now its sp to pg. I am scared that I will have to go thru the damn cycle again.
Yeap, I am not ready for everything. These changes. things ending slowly one by one. Yeah, the eff stop saying its going to end, like the last step we will ever take, hahaha, exaggerate la tu, its just i cant help it but to have that thing at the back of my head.
I am very bad in absorbing things more so accepting and living with changes.
And yeap, I am not suppose to do thiss but I felt like it. Xtaula nk guilty ka tak ka apa.
Anyways, life goes on with studyingg. hehehe. ^_^
No comments:
Post a Comment