You are so wasted.

* this is just whatever, read it or leave it. di sini memang aku nak admit bahawa aku memang xperfect, aku memang banyak buat salah and aku sedar and aku admit and aku ni tak bagoih untuk berkata sampai begitu but what the heck kalo aku just rasa nak tembak hang bagi mati kan.

How can one be so ignorant ? How can one be so dumb ? How can one be so xberperasaan ? How can one mengaku that perangai dia baek. mcam mana la orang macam kamu ni bole kata perngai kamu ok, aku dengan macam ni pon mmg aku mengaku kadang2 perangai aku macam pig jugak. How can u say that u tak buat salah dekat parents. gila ka apa. yea aku admit selama ni memang aku dok buat salah kat parents, tiap2 masa, even sekang, dengan xstudy suma tu. at least la kan, trials ni aku ada la usaha, walaupon smggu ja before trials, yeah, aku cuba jugak, aku xdak la nganga n worry macam nk mampuih tapi usaha satu apa pon xdak. bek xpayah worry langsung kalo macam tu.

awat, u kena sampai mak pak kamu jatuh sakit ka nk bagi sedarkan ang ? awat nak kena sampai depa dah penat, dah letih, dah give up ka ? ang tak kesian ka kat depa ? xdak kesian langsung ka ? ang pikiaq ang ni bagoih sgt ka, apa nak suma dapat, nak duet beratus dapat mcam tu ja, nak apa2 dapat saja tanpa perlu usaha ka apa, nk kluaq mana suma dapat and how dare u say u xbuat salah apa2. kena ka sampai mcam tu ? awat hang ni xckup besaq ka nak pikiaq apa baek apa mcm f.

boleh mai tanya pulak apa salah diri sendiri. weyh, awat hang xleh pikiaq ka wey, dah besaq lebaq, 17 belaih tahun dah, xleh pkiaq seniri ka, xle usaha sendiri ka ?

yea skg ni i feel my As are not a yang berkualiti, mmg pon ada ka 80 dah a plus, rasa mcam nope, its not enough, 90 and above is considered a plus. i dont und macam mana setengah orang bole fail and still bole dok rilek lagi, yea mmg, aku pon rilek sama, keja dok makan, tdoq, sembang n the cycle goes on and on and on again. tapi come on la wey, is this what u want out of ur life ? maacam ni ka ang nk cita kat anak2 ang kata mcm ni la ang abeskan zaman form five hang ? hang elok2 la sikit. biaq btui la. ang nk dpt anak pon aku xtau macam mana la, pkiaq pompuan nk p kat ang ka kalo ang mcam tu, diri sendiri pon xboleh nk urus, nak pulak pompuan. dont u know people would see u as nothing, people look down on u.awat bangga sangat ka berperangai macam tu, ang pkiaq bgoih sgt ka ? dont u realize that. itu pon kena habq ka. tak boleh pikiaq sendiri ka.

awat, susah sgt ka nak study ? usaha la wey usaha. hang nk usaha kumpui duet beli benda yang merapu bole, nak usaha dapat gf yang xsetanding dgn hang pulak tu pon boleh, awat benda ni xboleh buat ka, susah sgt ka nk buat. bukak buku and baca ja. put ur head in it la. xbole ka ? aku tau mmg la susah tapi ang pikiaq dgn kehenseman, kecantikan dan whatever2 bole menjana income n bagi ang makan nsik ka ? ang biaq btui.

mmg la mak pak ang ckp yeah, xpa la kalo fail, xpa kalo spm xok, asalkan nnti dapat krja yang elok and dpat rezeki halal. yeah itu memang sgt btui. tapi la wey. sapa nk anak dia fail, sapa xmo anak dia dapat 100% dalam suma subject ? meh hbaq sat mak pak mana xmo mcm tu. even kita nak bela la anak kucing * analogy anak kita sendiri * kita nak beli collar, nak bg tempat pupu dia bersih n lawa, nk bg katel, nk bg the best food, nk bg dia gemok n etc2. pasepa la pulak mak pak xnak the best for the kids. mmg la tros trang mak pak ang xkata kat ang ekceli depa tu dok kcik ati, dok makan ati, dok buntu akai, dok stress, dok usaha, dok risau pasai ang, tapi awat, ang xle pkiaq sendiri ka ? awat ang umoq bapa sampai benda simple ni xle pkkiaqq ? mmg obviously diorang xkan gtaw u but u have to know that, even same goes to me. i know my father wants the best for me. he did this n that n planned this n that so sbg seorng anak yang reti pikiaq and bersyukur and appreciate, i should do sth about it.

even pon la yea krja ala kadar setakat bole bg makan nsik, pkaian and enjoy sikit. ang xpnah mau pikiaq ka nnti ang nk improve urself ? awat, ckup dah la gaji 2k cmtu ja. ang xmo ka dok dari apartmen dua bilik p jadi banglo ? ang xmo ka dok bwk viva p tukaq merc one day ? ang xmo ka dok asyik beli converse pehtu tukaq p beli bonia ? ang xmo ka ubah hidup ang jd lebeyh bagoih satu hari nnti ? improve yourself.

kalo hang fuck spm hang, ang nk p futher studies ang kt mana ? ada ka matrix ka kolej yang nk trma ang ? kalo yea pon trima, tambah2 ikut cable dgn duet beribu2, ang layak ka dok kat situ ? ang xley pkiaq ka n xrsa malu ka sbb truth is sbnrnya u dont actually belong from there.

so here i would like to say, we have like around two months left bfore spm. cuba dgr nasihat mak pak, cikgu2, kawan2 yg bek n caring n brtggungjwb nk tlg ang. p la mnx tolong kwn2, p la buka buku mlm2 n bljaq, xreti jgak p tnya ckgu, ckgu akan jd lg happy. maasa lama lagi. tolong sedar tu. cuba dgr ckit org disekeliling ckp, bek ang nges skg sbb xckup tdoq n mata cam panda n xdpt have fun daripada ang nges air mata darah nti bila dpt results spm. lpaih spm ang nk trjun bgunan pon xpalah, nk tdoq bapa lma pon xpala, xbgn pon xpa, nk terbeliak mata n nganga dpan lptop pon xpala, xdak sapa akan halang hang dh n parents ang xkn beletiaq mcm skg ni. nges la smpai mcm mana pon u cannot turn back time n xdak org dah la nk resit for spm. well, suit yourself.

ini untuk kesedaran kita bersama jika kita tak sedar lagi or tak cukup sedar lagi. i need more brainwashing also.