And that is my second time hearing it for today. And i have heard several things more than once for today. Hush now, I would like to rest. that is enough.
I may talk, i may laugh, i may share, with other male friends but that is it. I already have a bf, and I only need one bf at a time.
Yeah, less than 50 days now. Spm is effing near. And this is the time when you start thinking of what you have done, what you have screwed, what you havent done, everything. Well, at least that is what is happening to me right now. For these past few days. I know I have done many things, things that I would not have thought I would even sniff or touch. But I was in it. A life time effect, yeap. I have wasted a lot, screwed a lot, cried a lot, laughed a lot, had fun a lot, learned a lot too i suppose. All in all I would like to say, i may wish to have a time machine now but nehhh, my life is how it is right now, dont look back, lets move forward, with baby steps tho yea seriously we dont have much time left. At least i want to do something about myself.
* I savor every moment that I have, because I know, I have the fear, it might be the very last *
Back to basics. What are my priorities ? yeap, If you happen to answer it besides spm, screw you ! yes, SPM it is. and my parents. and my future and life. That is not too much, right ?
I think im over feeling and over thinking, unnecessary things right now. Just absorbing too much, sometimes it need not to be looked at all. Why bother ? kan ? so look, stop, put a pause for a while, not stop, let it be, rest it for awhile, i need to be focused now. Set my aim, set my goal. At least 7as i think. And help people.
Yeah, at this point in time orang cakap, there is not much time, you cannot help much, you cannot do much. You just can help yourself. Yes, sounds selfish but better selfish than jeopardizing your own future for something that needs a lot of sacrifice and dont assure you anything in return. I agree with that. But I feel that doesnt mean you still cannot help, you still cannot do anything, you still have time, work hard for it, work your squishy ass out of it, you can do it. after all, bukan kita sorang nk dok spm, everyone is. If you have time gossiping and chit chating and all sorts, why cant you find time to help others ? This does not need super powers or something, it can be done if you want to. Only to work if the other party would respond in a good way. Appreciation is needed.
I hope I did not waste your two hours of saliva. I think I just did, again, as usual. But that was, well, refreshing, reassuring. My life, in my own hands. You have to go if you have to go. You cannot be dangling by a string and knowing that you may fall anytime soon. You can, but just be aware the possibilities of you slipping and falling. The message was conveyed, well, truth is, it does not need to be conveyed, it is already out in the open. The only thing left is execution. That, is out of my willpower. And how I wish you are in my league. And there I leave it, leaving myself exposed to every possibility.
So here, I just want to focus now. I xmo la dengar ini itu banyak sangat dah. kurangkan. relax. focus. and I would like to take only a few things seriously saja. i mean, seriously, why take things so seriously if nobody bothers, right ? and i have to live with other peoples wants and needs must come before yours. well, at least my mother told me that.
Yes, start everything with a smile. kan ? thanks btw. I like that. Betul. Start your day with a smile. STop frowning !
And I do not want to be somebody else in 10 years time. I would like to be me, and always me, forever and always.
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