if u dont mind wasting 5 minutes of ur precious time reading my pathetic and very depressing thoughts tho i really dont know why i feel like dying and should feel this way ( i should be smiling like =D till my cheeks tear apart and cant stop screaming but what the heck ) rite now, and just this is totally random.
* what is ur problem with me ? am i bothering u ? am i disturbing ur happy space ? do i even talk to u ? yes, i have been shutting up, and i will continue bcuz u look so pathetic so fucking stupid and everything. u are not worth my time.
* why cant u just understand, why cant u just see, things that are important to me and things that are not. sometimes i think u are happy and proud of me for the wrong reasons. the things i want u to be happy with, u just tear me down with it.
* why cant u let me be happy even just for a day. happy for what i have done. happy for what ive achieved, yes i havent climbed mount everest to be exact, never will reach the summit i suppose, i am not asking u to get me a car, or get me iphone 5 or buy me expensive handbags, i am not looking for those. and yeah even if i want, i dont ask it from u. just a pat on my head or on my shoulder and just smile would bring me a long way. just that, i dont even want to hear u say good job or good or thank u. i mean even abang jack could say thumbs up and good luck n thumbs up again to me. i just want u to appreciate, appreciate what im doing, especially when i do sth sincerely, i want u to see how i see things. why cant u see that. why cant u be like others. am i asking too much ? i just want u to be normal.
* sometimes i think, what have i done that has made u proud ? i cant think of any. yeah i managed to run and i came back home with a shattered heart. now what ? what else ? do u want me to just coop up in my life, in my room, not doing anything. i dont want that. that is not me. do u know that ? i want to do things that i can remember. not plain stupid cycle till i die.
* sometimes i think, i wonder, whats the point of me being friendly, i cant even use it for my own self, so whats the point of me being friendly ?
* why cant u talk to me nicely. i am not a kid anymore. i can understand. i can understand simple grammar and simple english.
* why cant u be as professional as he is ? why cant u explain things nicely ?
* why cant u understand how i work, how i learn things, how i see things. why. the person who i need the most to und me is u. but ur not even close to that. why. why others can, why cant u. why other ppl can und other ppl, why. what did i do ? did i screw things up ? i know i did.
* i already have personal issues with u, when it happens, it just makes things worse. it keeps coming again and again.
* and i cant seem to snap out of it. i cannot. and i dont know why.
* i have a heart. tho i dont normally cry and bleed and show, but bare in mind, i have a heart. just like everyone else. whether u like it or not.
* i am tired, i feel upset, i feel sick. i dont feel hungry, even, i dont feel like eating.
* how depressing can i sound ?
* haha *
im done.
pls, dont talk about this.
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