shudnt

ya ppl.. i cried..

eventho sikit ja.. just a tear...

but god..

i just had too..

i was so messed up again..

and worse..

to someone who i love.. yes it grew.. i dont curse him anymre..
or say stuff n all.. i cant.. cause i tink ahh..

and day by day.. hahaha.. he looks cuter... hahahaha

and yes. i cant wait 4 recess and tym abes skola especially tym stay bec.. :)

im a fool

im an idiot

thanks aiman, u have just made evrything much better.. uhh?

and tht.. things i say to him.. i do mean it now.. i mean day by day..

i ust felt so bad..

ok situation :

hung out for a wile, mkn2, then i went to lib with yash n all for star..

then xpala.. then came zikri.. . of coz i was mad wen zik came.. hehhe

but i just..

i thot mcm he was ok n all.. since theres sha n tan n jeeha..

then went n had fun n all ... mad3... ok la..

then wen we went to the front.. tht was when i realized he chnged..

( im totally writing bout him.. wtf... )

i wanna cry..

then i knew sth was up.. then jeeha was like.. dot3 la..

she was like u already have a bf.. dont do tht n all.. say sorry to him n all..

yes.. i still cnt get tht msg in my head wer i already have a bf... haih...

ok the ting is.. i was wit zik... u no me n zik... we just blend n go mad.. n close n al... it ink it was extra close kot tadi..

but still..

so he just sat there.. and started plying some songs.. when he plays songs, it means he is not ok. he is bothered by sth. n not fine. hes tryin to calm himslef.. tht moment.. everytn was damn sure.. he was bothered,disturbed,pissed n hurt

so the whole tym he was... yeah e.. lookin down, din wana talk.. n i was like.. oh shittttttttt

then sat down n all..

i was planning to say sorry n all

till he said i wana tell u sth.. buit not now.. il msg..

i knew it was it..

then he said.. ok il tell u now..

dot3 la.. n i was like..

i almost cried..

n like felt damn miserable..

n like on n off wanting to cry..

n yes i said sorry. n all..

i was such an idiot..

hes ur fuckin bf for gods sake..

treat him like he shud be.. love him like he loves u...

is tht so hard?

y u gotta hurt him?

i just didnt know wat to do..

yeah its my fault..

y did i go along with zik n just let u b...

or even if zik ajak u shud have said no or just went with him for awhile and go to him.. rather than the whole tym with him...

i was stupid..

i wanna cry

n my heads throbbing

hahhahah

eyes wattery

ohh god...

yeah.. god..

y m i crying?? hahahhaah

so ill try

i wont do it again

i wont hurt him

i wont take things for granted

and mourn when its gone

idk wat todo..

i didnt talk much

i cudnt do my work

i didnt pick up calls

i do see like im someone to him

n i cant let him down

n hurt him

and this goes to all

il try my best not to hurt u guys n let u down

no matter what..

i will alwiz love u guys

malina, tan

even went i sat beside him n new sths wrong.. i just felt like cryin

n when my dad called to go home.. i refuse to. i wana b there with him

sit beside him.. b with him..

call me jiwang

go ahead

i cant call turtle anymore..

il call his name

i wudnt think of peel fresh or soy bean

its him

hes different

i did so many things tht i dont think id do..

everytym i think of smiling

i wud wana cry

partly i m now

hes not ok, i cant b ok..

coz if im not ok, n if he is.. i can still smile n luff

n now i cant

just watery eyes

m not gona do any work

m just gona b on my bed

n try n get some sleep

still watery eyes

i got no idea

xtau ahh nk wat pa

i just cnt concentrate

or pay att at any thing at all


sno wpatrol - you could be happy

im tryin to get my colour back

haih...

after one, comes another..

it never stops..

n all of em r haih..

if it the other doesnt come, another thing wud come up

hahahaha

haih...

yeah today was actually suppose to be a day where he'd be standing beside me the whole tym.. we wud hang out together the whole tym.. n tht we r gona have fun.. n its gona b one of the bestest days.. yeah.. we talked bout it last nyt..

but just look...

wat idid...

i didnt expect.. well i shudhave...

used my brain..

i never thot..

it didnt..

buntu

i jz wana sleep

xoxo..