facts of life

ignore the pic...

hmm lets see.. today just studied agama.. wic is like i can go home n study it..

the rest...

xwat pa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

xpatot dtg skola in the first place..

n2 next wik sund...........

not sure cmin tak...

n i told adam. adams like yeah n surely the conclusion is ul surely come...

idk la... it depends....

so i have a list of stuff to buy to probably keep me sane..

1. speaker

2. laptop

3. headphone

4. handsfree

5. mp3, ipod nano ka

6. straighten my hair

7. ears.. piercings

8. sweaters... n ada la one more..

9. iphone

10. buy someone

11. buy everyone + yazid... kahkahkah

12. short pants...


so yeah... i gz thts it... byk g.. but forget it..

so tym rehat rehat wit him again.. its like yeah new routine in my life.. walk out of school n recess with him.. well we dont actually talk.. just ckp ckit2 ja..( i dont know la wther i ckp byk or ckit wit him or wat. .tahla ) its jz hanging out.. sitting beside him.... hahahahaha... this is damn funny...


lunchiou - smone ajar...


n yeah its weird like walking out witout him beside me.. like tadi.. then half way thru he was gasping for air.. kepenatan.. i think he ran... dari canteen.. not gud..
gawd..

then he suppose to stay for his friends party.. then dia ckp b4 the party even strted his mum came... mg... ok maybe u dont und the situation... cnni u nk gila2 ngn ur friends kan n bukan selalu ley wat canni coz ur paretns x bgi n tht u r so protected by em.. so u pun syok gila thp cipan ahh igt diorang btul2 bgi n cool.. then sudeny b4 nk gila2 dok eager2 u mum dtg nk amek u home.. gawd...



( makan xlena, tdo xbasah , mandi xknyang ) bukan my ayat...


haix.. n hes al emo n all... n i told him sth tht ive neva told anyone b4.. yeala... since no one pernah experience the exact damn thing... i still neva thot ada gak org cnni.. geee...
yeah all this wile im the ony one.. now him... neva thot of it..

n that... haix.. now i know its so damn fcking hard to face n help an emo person.. to help em cheer n smile again.. i mean all tis wile i yg sllu emo... now somebdy else emo.. especially him.. its hard...

( cocktail - ada gak cock yg ada tail.. not my ayat again )


n yeah tym i emo gila yg coz of the two persons prob tu. this guy.. namanya ... he made me luff like hell n all.. he was just wow... n he la yg made me happy n made my day.. eventho it was late..
i'll never forget him.. evntho we dont talk at school n all.. but geee... hes just wow.. i love his brain.. his ayat.. all... hahha.. i respect u!!! thank u vmc!!

then jeevan lak... nak wat keja gila.. if only hes in front of me.. il surely punch him n slap his face..

lifes complicated..

so i think few weeks ago.. i mean maybe last wik kot.. i told myself.. i wana make this relationship happen.

one : between me n malina.. yeah i know i m selfish.. and im trying to get it out of me.. but the thing is.. shes still my friend..wel more than that n if she needs me, il b there.. since also my aim is to b there for everyone no matter wat.. i have to b tht way..thats the only way i can do to ppl around me

yeah i want us to work out.. i mean things n all...

two : me n him.. dont ask me y.. i stil have tht phobia tho.. but its kinda going away.. but still, its stil lthere.. im just scred to bliv in him fully.. but its growing.. i jsut said ok ill try.. i wan this to happen.. i got no idea y...

three : being normal again with her.. ill work it out.. well it doesnt.. i just need to use my head n be brave n grow up n face things..



kiss me
beneath the milky twilight
lupa dah...

415 pm.. i need to get back to reality.. wat keja sikit.. clean my sanctuary aka its a pigs sty n pack for tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah m like excited coz im going out.. m out from asspee walaupun satja..

still thinkin shud i end up at school on sund??? n yeah yg ari pa tah.. i think mond.. i actually decided not to go.. but i was like eeeee if i dont go i dont get to see him... i mean my cond at tht tym wasnt tht gud n i was like its ok if i go pun ill just die at school n if i dont go i think il get worse.. coz u wana noe why? its stupid.. i sanggup bgn pagi mandi ngn air sejuk cz xdk air.. just to go to school.. thats pure crapppppp...


im lucky tht hes cool with tis prob n all.. imean hes helping me out.. n hes damnly asking me to be damn close with her again.. yeah sis.. he wants it badly.. yeap im telling u tis..

so yeah stayed on tues.. actually xnk.. didnt even realize scouts ada.. then he was like stay x? im like idk!!!!!!!! then argue.. talk2.. n all then we stayed.. he stayed coz he wat his own krs.. s 4 me is either i join his krs or go for my scouts.. n i went for my scouts.. so it was my first tym seeing the real him.. i mean him talking, smiling, luffin. mad n all.. i like it.. yeah the true him.. so it was fun.. i xmenyesal stay.. hahahah.... will i stayback next tym? kahkah..

yeah i didnt want to stay till theva n rinesh had to say ok il cal adam n ask him to stayback also.. yeah i gz i hate staying baccccck til that extend.. gee

n yeah the memo bout no phones allowed at scholl!!! gahgah.. dpt2 ja kertas tu.. malina was like smilling.. n almost everyone especially fitree was shooting me with it.. as usual..

well do i look like im going to stop bringing it?? well for one reason i kinda need it. 2nd my mums like if im in doubt of bringing the phone shell b like bawak lah2.. nnti pa2 i can call.. thats my mum.. hahahh...

so sund was ok.. yeap weeklu updates.. sund ok then ttn.. ok... mr lim is gona hammer me if he know my maths marks.. ohh lord save me...

mon.. weird2.. ok2 la.. cant actually rmb wat happened.. ntg kot.. i gz so.. ohh yeah ohh yeah sunday deena told me sth bout adam.. n i was like oms!!! wtf!!!! then mond sambung tu gak.. its freakish..

tues.. stayed.. bes2!!! ok la.. then lupa... oh yeah slept xtra early

wed.. so slept extra early malam tuh.. so i was like all sleepy the whole day.. even at lib during recess.. i just put my head on the table and tried to stay awake... gawd.. balek2 terus tidor.. then ttn.. ok la.. bought four packets of dentyne chewin gum!!!!!!!! n topup again.. again..

so today.. mula2 boring gila at scholl.. then syok terlebey sat since cg xmasok!!! then byk ahh camwhoring.. oh yeah!!! camwhoring also on tues.. oh yeah .. 1st pic with him!!!

shit la man..

now its like al bout him...

yeah

him

him

him

his infernal majesty i mean

kahkah..


yeah i never actualy like2 someone since last year... gawd.. yeah its hard.. haix..

oh heah he listens to SOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

kewl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

n he lurves mcr.. but not the genre.. but coz of the madness..

gee. i kno hes like.. gawd.. he doesnt wana talk.. so i shall leave him.. im not gona push him..

so its 441pm.. im still here.. as if i have my wholelife to spend on bloggin..

oh yeah i guess i will if i actaully do get iphone.. i mean i will neva stop blogging...


so i'll try n not to cut myself anymore.. i do at times.. but just little.. but i have to stop tho neeeh?

ohh yeah facts of life.. yash just told me stuf. n i sat back n thot of it..

just try n sit at the school canteen at 130pm.. just watch ppl walking out.. u'll see diff things.. lots of em.. n ul learn sth.. i guess so.. idk wat m tryin to say.. but just try.. sit alone.. sit back n just observe.. just watch as the world passes by, revolves around u.. maybe epiphany wud hit u..

not really in the mud to explain wat i had in mind after school tadi.. maybe some other tym..

yeah...

wait and bleed - slipknot...

guitar!!!!!!!!!