if u dont know, my dads a chinese, robin tan. so i get aiman tan. maybe u dont know that. so im telling you

yeah, ur surname is indeed tan. gues i got too carried away with my emotion. sorry bout dt. my mistake.

do i give a fuck anymore? do i look like i give a fuck anymore? no i criously dont!!

im not going to care bout ur feelings. im not going to care whether ur going to hurt or cry or fuck!

who do u think u are?

for gods fucking sake u are just a friend. u dont deserve to say things bout my life

u alaways have a problem with my friends. i know its ezza, deena sometimes i guess, n boys. yes u can say that no im just feeling it on my own. please im not such an idiot.

n now tan. i knew that u have a problem with tan. u wana know why i took her as my sis. u wana know why? cause she doesnt suck like you! cause she has her brains all the time.
cause she doesnt say emotional things like you and ruin peoples life. cause shes not problematic as you. i dont know wats ur fucking problem!!!!

oh thats why la u straighten your hair, nak menunjuk dekat orang.. ang xpuas ati pa kat aku? lantak ahh aku nk naked ka p ibrahim ka public ka? lantak la aku nk orenkan rambut aku ka? ang SAPA? u think ur my parents izit? my mum didnt even say anything. and who the fucking hell are u saying that to me? ohh yeah kawan hang yg len tu yang hang rapat tuu.. tau x?!!

nak tau x? at least kan aku x hipokrit. tau akk? at least org tau perangai aku macam mana. p la tanya budak residensi,sggs ke ibrahim ke tusyen msn ke tusyen watan. perangai aku sama. aku xdk la buat bek mcm ngn apa kat skola pastuh strip kat luar. yang tu hang x sedaq! yg tu hang x perasan! aku buka ja tudung ohh yg tu teruk sgt! aku ja nampak. org len x!!!

do u ever realised all the fights tht we have is all caused of u. ur the one who started everything. ur the one whod b like the one who starts it . x caya p check history ym hang. belambak bukti kata hang yg mula dulu. x caya? asal ang selalu xpuas ati kat aku? apa aku wat kat ang? apa dia? as usual la kan u selalu put all the blame on me. n ckp im the one whos wrong. as usual la kan. ni pun skang i tau suma org igt i yg kejam sgt xnk member ngn u. eh bengkak, fuck u la, pls ok. aku xdk kebodohan tahap cipan nk tingglkan ko. ko fikir ape? aku ni xdk ati xdk akai!! for gods sake aku masih ada ati n akai. tapi macam mana la nk guna kalo sikap ang canni? cita sikit mai?!!

tau akk napa aku xsuka stayback?

aku tau ang mmg ada mslh aku rapat ngn tan. ang suma ada masalah ngn aku. dari cara aku cakap, dari cara aku bergaul dgn org, dgn my friends.. suma xkena. asal?!! ko x pernah terfikir ke? xpa skang u tlg fikir sikit yerk?

tapi lantak ahh aku nk rapat ngn sapa pun. aku rapat ngn pondan ka ah pon ka apa ka hang saket tang mana? ang sebok tang mana? apa maslh ang kalau aku panggel tan my sister? i get along with her very well n she x frustrating.. so waht????

so aku budak xalim cam ang. so aku x hormat guru mcm ang. so aku xpangge cikgu ngn encik or puan mcm ang. so aku bergaul dgn laki, kwn ngn laki, bestfren ngn laki bukan mcm ang. so aku pakai seluar pendek bukan mcm ang. so suma la. so what? ang nk aku jadi hang ka? nak ka?
ang nk tau akk? dak aku xnk. tau napa? coz kalo yeah pon aku wat suma camtu jz 4 u, maksud nya aku hipokrit. pastuh aku tipu semua org dikelling aku. aku bukan org mcm tu

aku xtau dah cmna nk dok tepi hang. aku lebih rela dok tepi cikgu sivik kita. aku x kisah. aku menyesal selama ni aku kisah. aku menyesal tolak pelwaan yashni ataupun ezza. yg diorAng soh aku dok tepi diorang. ang nak tau akk aku syok gila aku x hang out ngn ang dah. nk tau pasepa? mcm dat day ari merentas desa. kalau la aku hung out ngn ang kan sure aku xley nk wat keja gila, nk hang out with various ppl la.xley nya. nk tau pasepa? satni ang wat muka feveret ang. syok!!!

yeah selma ni mmg aku dok usha blog hang. dok usha email yahoo aku. ang xnk hantaq dah ka?

ang nk tau dak aku xkisah org cakap ang lesbian partner aku ka bf aku ka.. aku xkisah. tapi ang nk tau x? kalau yeah pun aku xkn merapu nk amek ang sbg lesbian partner aku or bf aku. nk tau akk??

ko besala. suma betul. org lain salah. besalakan.

ko xpernah terfikir ka suma nih? xkan? cuba la usha message archive ym. belambak. too bad mine dh xdk. dtzs y i wanted so much tht u save dlm pd ka send it to me. tau ak?

pastuh ada tym kokurikulm day last yer. i cant exctly igt u sed but it was like ohh u betrayed ur best friend and wen with the world and ur other frends. u wana noe wat?!! fuck u!!! kalo boley aku pecahkan keyboardnihh.. susah sgt ka ang nk phm manusia? susah ka? budak yg nama aiman ni pun xley kan? aku menyesal. aku xtau la canna aku boley jadi member hang. aku lebey rela xjadi member ang.nk tau pasepa? kalo aku xjdi member ang, xdk la aku xtenteram cmni. xdk la aku rasa cm nk bunuh org!! xdk la suma fuck nihh!!! nk tau akk?

aku tau. ang nk aku jdi hipokrit. tu yg hang nk sangat kan?! lupakan diri aku sendiri pastuh ikut ja ckp ang, for gods sake ur just a friend. a friend or bestfriend pun xkn dpt ubah diri aku. u know that well dont u. i m who i m. is that so hard to know? is tht so hard to und? i hate u!

n u always nak fight. sejak mai high school i dh x fight. tapi datang kenal dgn u. mula la.

n u wana noe wat. i stil ingat. i ngat dt day.tym tu a night b4 ari penyampaian hadiah. entah kenapa lagi u wat hal nk cari gadoh.ko patut ditampar! dahla nk penyampaian hadiah pastuh dok tepi. saja la tu. n not only that, i ngat my mum tym tu masuk hospital. i dahla sebok with skola dt tym pastuh rumah lagi, daddy lagi, pastu u dok bising2 pa tah. pastuh u gadoh? u think i suka izit? u think i suka suma ka? dhla my mum msk ospital. bukan nk tolong paham. sapa paham tyum tu nk tau akk? sapa? azri!!! nk tau akk?

n i xtau ni true ka x but i tau u xsuka i wit azri kan. azri penah ckp dt u apa tah since azri la jadik org pertama yg tau stuff. so u xsuka. awat ang jealous ka? yg aku dh dpt bf baru. n forsake kita punya relationship?!!!

my sis ckp u sick.. u lebey drpd bf. even my mum. nk tau akk?? aku gtaw..

tau akk napa tym form 3 i xnk rapat ngn u? coz of this la. tau akk??

lebey baek xrapat ngn u drpd rapt ngn u tau akk??

muka aku tgh terbakar..

aku xpuas ati

asal la aku berkwan ngn ang tah..

ko selalu ckp jgn forsake our friendship. ko selalu ckp harap itll last. aku pown beria2 la igt ok. igt chun. hampeh.. otak ko!!! merepek!! mcm nih? we did a very wrong thing!!

kalau la aku ada gun... aku letupkan otak ko

ko fikir bagus sgt ahh tym kawad ari tu saja wat drama xnk dtg. ko nihh.. xcukup ka nk skitkan ati aku.. ni nak masukkan sha n tan. ko xkesian ka kat diorang? aku dt day tym dpt d msg mmg dh kesian dh. aku xpala dh sellu lalui

ko tau x? aku sedey gilerr bila dgr ko masuk pgkp.. ko fikir la..

ko selallu ada mslh with member2 aku. saket tang mana tah..

ko tau aku bukan orang yg dgr ckp org

ko tau aku bukan org yg senang diubah.

asal wat cm xphm2??

bukan buat, but its mmg xpaham!!

tan skang dh sedey. apa lu mau buat?

thank u la amalina. ni naseb bek ko buat drama lepas exam. kalo b4 exam jgn tanyala

thank u hantar depressing msgs 2 me

ko ni pun satu. xkn selama nih xpaham my dad org canna. kalo i x reply msg tu i bz la. xtau ka?!!!kalo i dah bz, asal xpaham2?? i xdk reply la.. kalo xreply considerate la ckit.. bukannya nk hentam2 org ngn ckp huh u sed u und me.. bla3 la

memory di otak aku xcukup nk simpan suma benda yg menyakitkan ati. dari ym aku dh ilang. dari sms my sim xcukup space nk keep dh.

ko xpuas ati aku member ngn fitree kan? ngn azri kan?

n yes im better of without u. aku bahagia tau akk?? aku boley ja angkat fuck bebila masa aku nak!! aku boley ja melepaskan apa aku nk..

xcaya?!! tanya geeha, my dear. xcaya?!! tanya beeha. xcaya tanya anis. xcaya tanya yashni. xcaya tanya deena..

ur worst thn my mum

yes of cozz!! hitting butts is happier than quarelling with you. tanya lagi??!!

aku xtau canna nk bersemuka ngn ang dh. aku xtau canna nk dok ngn ang dh. aku xmau!! aku menyesal!! selama ni aku kisah!! aku meneysal

n kekadang tuhh aku xreply coz i dh penat dah ngn suma nihh..

ko igtla.. ko igt aku bodo2 saja2 p tinggai hang ka? ko fikir la..

org ckp aku xpatot tinggaikan hang. cam eza ckp. tapi.. tgk ahh.. ko nak pe g?

ko xpayah la amek berat or anythin.. susahkan jer..

thank u wat aku marah


thank u wat aku sket ati

thank u wat aku sket kepala

thank u wat aku frus

thank u wat aku emo

aku xtau canna nk bgn esok g skola

tau akk?!!! aku gtaw!!!

nnti bday aku xyah la wat pa2.. aku xnk. tan jgn dok plan ngn org wat bday party ka watsoever. doa aku ley idup bahagia n sihat selalu cukup. alhamdulillah la..

in 35 over ppl dlm 3A3. ang jugak aku pilih.. psepa tah?? aku xamek dadah pun tym tuhh..

aku geram

thank u coz malam nih aku tau aku xtdoq lena

thank u coz rosakkan my hair since its like wil b tensed

ko nk aku pindah skola ke? kalau boley aku mmg nk. kalau boley nk pindah kuar msia. tapi malangnya ayah aku xla sekaya tuhh nk bwk aku g luar negera cm australia ka us.

thank u very much for those bad memories..

aku menyesal cuba berbek2 ngn ang

aku menyesal dgr wat eza ckp walaupun sikit..

skang ko suka la jadik cam nih. wat org cnni kan

aku xtau cnna nk brdepan ngn ang..

pastuh xlupa comment kat fs tuhh....bes gilerr...

xpa2 stni bila aku dh tulis blog atau esok ahh i approve nah all fs nya comment k?

p tayang kat org!!

pastuh blog ni akn ditygkan jugak kot entah whehter i dah put at ms bout diz url

hate cursing..hate people saying babi..hate people who shows the middle finger..never calls the teacher with only their names..who gave full respect to the teachers..who obey the rules..

i akan igt.. u jgn risau

pls la.. ko fikir ko kat tadika.. ko fikir kat convent.. for gods sake kalo ko xbiasa ngn suma nihh.. cuba bygkn gi univrsti camna erk? nk tau akk? lagi teruk dri high school.. org bermcm2.. 2 xlagi org datang dri kl la jb la.. diorang lagi teruk.. lagi open minded.. lagi dasyat.. ni high school ok?

babi, fuck, babi, fuck

aku xnk g skola. tx la na bgi aku rasa cnni

ko nk ape g?

u nk jdik mcm dulu? u cn fuck urself!! after suma nihh/ no way okeyyhh...?!

especially u dh libatkan sha n tan

selama nih yes i x ckp pa2 pun cm ni. aku xpenah hang aku2 ngn u rite.. skang aku dh xtahan. sgt2!! selama nih i xpernah luahkan. nah nampak..?? selama ni yeah aku la wat cm aku la yg bersalah.. berpura2 wat cam aku nanges since we gadoh.. taw akk napa aku wt camtu? coz aku nk elakkan hang wat drama lagi/ ada paham?

ko ckp nk berubah.. inilah berubah yer?? i gz inila berubah kan..kan3??!!

and i xpaham.. asal kan .. ur concept.. like wen u give u always expect returns.. u nk tau akk itu salah.. u shud always give n never hope in return at all.. n u selalu nk depend sgt2.. asal? ko aku rasa patut jadik anak tunggal.. tinggal dlm huruhara.. penuh penipuan.. bru tersedar kot?!! ka x?

n yeah tym last yer kau x g skola coz i xnk g!! mmg la coz satu no one nk jaga kucing tym pagi.... so i ahve to b there.. but the point is aku lebey rela dok umah!!! tau akk?!!!

It means that she (almost, I think) gets tired, rather be all alone and completely lose(?) than stress out everyt ime a row between me and her happens. Plus, she's tired of hoping that someday I will understand.

ko boley tolong lupakan la nahh..aku mmg dh letey dh.. menyesal pon yg aku ada giv a fuck..

aku dah agak.. tym aku luahkan.. tym aku meletup.. suma over!!!! its the end!!! nak tau akk?!

u want a pure fucker from me? ill give u a pure fucker from me!!

byk g.. esok skola!! huhu syok nya.. xpa blek skola aku continue lagii.. ko fikir aku ni cepat reda ka?jz so u kno x.. aku susah nk lupa kemarahan dn geram. n especiall kalo to someone. so tgk la na.. esok cnna.. jgn marah kalau aku meletup or jerit. or apa2 ja la ..

ni pun walaupun aku dh tulis byk gila.. burden dlm ati aku separuh pon x ilang g. geram ni xreda2 pon lagi. elok la yer.. elok sgt..

FFUCCKK UU!!! thank u!! apa salah aku?

and yeah u sed ur not gona do antin stupid like suicide. gud. dont. dont find the grim reaper or even try to inflict urself. cz y its of coz all my fault..

and people.. korang boley ckp pa korang nk. aku xberhati perut ka.. aku xdk akai ka.. xdak ati ka. aku xdk mau kisah!! coz aku dh lama, selma nihh simpan dlm ati.. skang burst.. okaeyyhh??!

yeah so at last, i grew up. i was brave enuff to face my probs, my hates.. huhu!! i did it!!!