Sometimes I dont even know why I do things

Well, most of the time right now. Especialy the ones where I have to go out of my way in order to do those things. I dont know why I do it, worse is why I keep doing it, the same way, every time, and I stupidly expect a different result. So sad.

That is the door

If you cannot.

Two more months ~

Or so. Then ?

Borang akreditasi mqa

Why, A levels cert is not acredited enuf is it? I thought you can go all over the world with it without any problems.

And why yall need to ask about my race, not only my race, my fathers, my mothers race. Why, if I put im an indian or chinese, you will put me at the back of the line la eventhough i am the first one who submitted the form? Why, if I put my fathers race as a chinese you wont accept me la? If you ask me what is sensitive, that is sensitive. Tell me what is the relevance of me putting my race plus my parents. The only relevant thing that i should be filling up is my results, my achievements, my name, my brain. And how I present myself later during the interview. Not my race, not my religioin, not my skin color. Why are those your concerns? At all.

I got into college with nobody questioning me who is my father, what is my race, how much does my family earn, nothing, up till now. The only thing I gave to them was a copy of my ic, my shitty trials results, my spm results, sijil berhenti sekolah and thats it. And to get into this thangg, the first question that they ask are all those things, now tell me what is wrong? Or there is nothing wrong at all?

Maybe to some is no big deal, well to most there is nothing wrong with it I know. or you must be saying I am crazy coz they r just asking me those, well, common questions and i am really making a big deal out of it. and yes I admit i am actually being a brat n complaining bout everything regarding the system.

but if you look at it properly, there must be a reason why they ask so think about it. Why private sectors dont give a hoot about it and why this system here needs to know untill your grandfathers roots to just enter, with that not even sure whether you can get in or not. If its all malay malay malay then chances are it is easier for you to be chosen and to get in.

Note to myself, even if i do get accepted, i am still going to think about it.

What am I standing here for? Hoping for a wishing star that might never come!

You are not much of a help and you can never help me in this, in some certain ways, maybe in many ways, idk what it is, and that realy does stab my heart.