Dont blow up.

Constant reminder to myself. Brighter side? I dare not think about it.

Yes you can.

No I cant. What am I suppose to say again? Oh it is fine. It is ok. My ass.

Worried face.

Yeah2 i dont wana hear it.

And soo, people say becareful with what you wish for, was I careful enough? So i am deciding to take it this way. Put every negative thing about it in my head and shove it right up my arse and say, this is it. You want it, you have it. Go and paint the town red while you still can. Although yes i have voices in my head debating about the logical truth or facts because i feel like, so what right? It aint my problem or it aint my concern and that is not how i want things to be. If this is a test for me or a way to train myself, i am really not up to it or geared up right now but i believe once am in it, i would like it and live with it. For the time being? If the need of being away would aid in self healing, i might opt for that. Yes i might sound desperate but i didnt ask for this, for me to change. So man up. I shall soak everything in soon and live what i should have lived.

I dont care. Seriously