I survived day two. Still asking me to smile ?

Idky i need to get up practically almost every day and go to school. like practically dragging myself out of bed, pretending to play dead, hoping my parents actually forgot I got school, well almost any stupid effing reason you can think of. Idky i have to practically go thru all this now. Sigh. You know, mcm ni, im like a puppy. sniffing around, looking around for something, desperate, sampai sekarang tak dapat2 lagi, that soft spot, i want it, i keep going for it, but i end up with nothing. yeah, great. i already fucking hate going to school, all i want is stay at home and study, and now this ? no like, ok fine no big deal but seriously what theeee.

Perhaps, it wasnt only meant for you. It meant for me too. My biggest enemy now is myself. I have to be strong. I have to go thru this. Well, fight over everything and say, tak pa, buat tak tau, most important is, DO REVISION.

Correct me if I am wrong, we all have to help ourselves right now, to trust is to depend, jeopardizing your own future, is stupid.


I feel like eating my hair, chewing everything i see including the laptop and wooden table, baling my phone to the wall and bagi pecah, bakaq suma buku. lets see apa aku tak boh g. oh, hmm, i dont really feel like killing anyone skang, apparently. i just need someone to talk to me. any stupid crap can do, just talk to me.

Talk. To. Me.

So what if they fuckingly forgot that fucking stupid thing !

Oh fuck stupid.

yeah why bad mood, smile la. oke fine smile la.

Dear beddddy2 ~